I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Sunday Firsts

We are invited to my brothers for brunch. Whilst arguing about leaving and not being ready and usual getting out of house shenanigans, we get a text for an extra hour reprieve!! It helps to have a late SIL too!

My brother is an accomplished pianist and sits with Ellie to show her the next few notes of scooby doo that she has been slowly learning!! We pick raspberries and gooseberries from their garden and it was a lovely afternoon. The girls were given a present from SIL's parents. A massive Chocolate bunny each!! I say nothing. I am reminded of the foot high santa incident. I sense no sleep tonight!!

We return home via grandmas as we've decided to try riding a real bike. Ellie feels ready. I spend most of the time blowing up tyres and fixing seat that she had lost interest. Se has a few go's and its done. Ellie tends to give up if something is not easy straight off. She gets easily frustrated. She wants to do this though so hopefully that will carry her through.

I am acutely aware of how I need to handle this. I know I need to be careful and gentle and not push or scare or panic or fear or belittle. I don't want to push it but I can't help trying to persuade her to try a few times more. I manage playfully a few times but I am sensing I am getting dangerously close to over doing it and ruining things so stop. Not before she crashes into kerb and falls off. Shit was hoping to avoid that so soon. She is off inside.

I am terrible for that. Ruining a moment with thoughtlessness or going a bit too far with my eagerness.

Tonight we make enough salmon for everyone, this time they don't eat it. *sigh*

Hubby was meant to take girls to SIL. I am looking forward to a rest and settle on sofa for a crappy film. The car won't start. I have taken an embargo and am not moving. I say to the girls that I am tired and they can stay here quietly or go upstairs and play but I am NOT coming up. They disappear. 

I have to laugh at that the fact that the couple of times this SIL has been round happens to be the couple of times I have just said 'sod it' , flopped on sofa and watched a film whilst chaos ensues around me. To her it must seem like I am always there!!

The girls are flying high on bunny and I nonchlantly whisper into to Ellie's ear "10pm bike practice! " I'm not invested about her answer either way but secretly pleased she says yes. 

I had thought that Maia might fall alseep on sofa with blanket over her whilst we are outside. No chance, these girls are still wired to the moon but we go upstairs anyway. there ensues some Mega rambunctious play till after midnight that takes a lot of effort on my part to remain calm over because it also involves me being jumped on or hurt occasionally. I'm so tired I have no patience but we manage. 

Meltdowns - too high
Losing the Plot - I'm a non plot losing goddess
Breastfeeding - brewing

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