I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

So many questions too many answers

Sometimes I don't know what to say

Sometimes I am asked a question and I can't work out what the answer is or I know what the answer should be but can't work out how to say it in a way that is ethically morally factually supportively politically genuinely beautifully inclusively lovingly connectedly correct or optimal.

Here's a simple inconsequential question:-

"Did you bring the strawberry plant as we weren't sure who it was from?"

Here is how I didn't answer:-

"Hmm if that's what the plant in the pot was, that I said could be dead, then yes!! "

"If it was in the bag with the dog piece of paper with the Jewish blessing on it and looked mostly dead then yes!!!"

"Was it half dead looking? I'm not sure what that one was, it was a cutting from my mum for my garden but I didn't get round to planting it. "

"I don't know what the small dead looking plant in the small pot was"

"Was it in the bag with two tallish hedge type plants and the dog blessing, well not an actual dog blessing lol!! The blessing for Ruben written on a dog shaped piece of paper!! "

"We brought two tallish hedge type plants and a small pot of something that is probably dead and it was in a bag with the blessing for Ruben in it"

Nothing really works. However I answer it it just doesn't fit the criteria of a suitable answer.

You can see the problem.

No question asked by my children is inconsequential. Everything is important to them.

So...my question is always:

How to answer to the full capacity of my knowledge whilst not destroying the soul, the joy, the integrity of a four and five year old.

Sometimes all I should say is I don't know go and ask your dad.

Meltdowns - minimizing
Losing the Plot - too tired to summon energy
Breastfeeding - lots and lots and lots and lots

Thursday, 16 August 2012

Grandma's Dog

I cut the dogs hair today. Not our dog. Grandmas dog. 

We are looking after Grandmas dog whilst she is at a Batmitzvah in Israel

I think I got carried away. May need to even things up.

Apparently you are not meant to cut a dogs tail hair.

She looks like a rat-dog.

I'm glad Grandma is away for two weeks.

I'm moving!

Check me...I have somewhere to sit, somewhere to put the computer and not have the hassle of moving it every time we need table space!! This is momentous! I have a space to write. I don't need to stand up all the time. My legs are thanking me, my coccyx may not! We moved in here 8months ago...but you know we've had things going on...life, baby, two children and dog type things.  Hubby has a week off and sorted the study...he likes to procrastinate, if something gets overwhelming, he does something else...he did a lot of it when we moved in, but it wasn't completely sorted (not sure it is now) but there is proper space on the desk now!!  The computer pretends its a laptop, but the battery is dead, so unplugging causes shut down, so it can't move about much. 

The other momentous event, is that whilst Ellie is back at school, primary two..cannot believe it, and this is the clincher, Maia is now morning nursery, so I get, after walking the dogs, TWO hours Milliemummy time.  I am most excited about this prospect and interested to see how it feels to be a one baby mummy for a few hours a day!  

In the meantime though, while hubby is home, I am now able to use the space, for a short time,  without a girliegirl coming in, taking over my space and using this computer, or needing me for ANYTHING!!  When hubby is back at work, we'll see how the space fairs!  Its funny how my computer is so much more enticing than any of the other 3 in the house (to be fair one doesn't work).  I sometimes like to think its really me they want to be with not my computer.

First day back, yesterday, went completely without hitch, without stress or lateness or upset or shouting.  Everyone got dressed without incident (actually Maia was already wearing her dress, she had wanted to sleep in the dress she had on...genius plan if you ask me), breakfast was soaking ready (for a change) to heat up and packed lunch was made the night before. Millie was settled and happy to have a daddy and a sister holding her.  I was super organised ready for anything mum yesterday. We even made it before the bell, that's at least a head start on last year.  I also have hubby home to help...hmmm.

Second day, wasn't as smoothly executed, but you'd never know and we made it for the bell again.  Ellie's having packed lunch and hubby made Maia change her dress, I frankly, would have left it. So much easier!

Well, I don't need to wait...25minutes. I managed 25minutes!! Then Millie wanted fed! Its nearly time to pick up Maia.....I'm thinking its not just space I need, time would be handy too.  OK sitting down one fingered typing it is.  I'm sure that's familiar to many!!

We also had our bi-annual dental trip. In hindsight, going on the first day back might not have been the best plan but it was the only available one and the girls had been complaining about various teeth related problems.  It's a 'trip' because the girls go to a holistic dentist which is about 40mins away.  We sometimes go down to the sea whilst there too.  I love our holistic dentist.  He agrees against flouride, mercury fillings and....

....3hrs later..Millie is not a happy bunny today and needed milk, movement and sleep (used sling swing) She has picked up ANOTHER cold  She has a terrible sore looking neck rash. The snot has returned.   She caught it from Ellie. I can't even say its from school this time. Maybe it was meteor gazing in Glasgow. Or getting wet the other day or maybe that's all a myth. Maybe they will never be ill when older cos their immune system is being built SOoooo strongly. Maybe that's a myth too...

...back to the dentist.  He also likes to do as little intervention as possible and it very pragmatic about the whole children and teeth brushing issue and even pulled out the cure tooth decay without brushing book.  I think I should re-start his emails.  He said the girls teeth are doing well, but that we need to keep an eye on Ellie's slight decay and make sure we get all the eaten food out and the right foods in.  Basically the girls need to start proper brushing again and cut down on the sugar!!

The way home was when it all went tits up. Thankfully I am not driving, although it may have been  better idea than being in the back with the girls.  We are all very tired. Ellie's balloon that she was SO excited to be getting burst because she was pulling it about to roughly inside the car.  She then attempted to burst Maia's which made me very mad.  Millie was screaming, so we stopped at the petrol station and got some crisps for all.  Ellie started taking Maia's crisps.  The bullying really triggers my already tired brain.  I am now in such a bad mood and start acting like petulant teenager or as if Ellie is my sister and we are fighting in the back of the car.  She is hitting me. I am shouting. Millie starts screaming again, she is NOT enjoying the car tonight (no wonder).  The rain is lashing down.  Ellie properly bursts Maia's balloon this time, but I can't tell if it was on purpose or not. I forget all about being the one who can calm the situation down.  I forget how to even start being a grown up. I forget that she has just had her first day back at school, it very tired, lost her coveted balloon and feels helpless.  Its a mess.  We are all unhappy.  Ellie tells me she is really angry with me.  I tell her I am angry with her. I have basically lost all notion of how to be the sensible adult and put my fingers in my ears and start singing la la la al al al ala la la really loudly.
He's ok with me be right in there!

We make it home but are all still fizzing.  I go upstairs to calm Millie down in a darkened room.  Ellie appears, asks if she can turn the light on, I explain I would like it dark to settle Millie, she turns it on any way.  I flip. Tell her to leave.  She says she hates me and is sleeping with daddy tonight.  Maia comes with me.  Once Millie is asleep, I go next door give her a big hug, apologise for my behaviour and tell her I will come in once Maia is asleep.  Unfortunately Maia takes so long to fall asleep, Ellie already had.

Lots of connection will be needed after school today me thinks.

From start to finish, and life, this post took me over 5 hours!! Space is great but time is definitely needed too!! ahhh the joys of my child related world!

Thank you school for this three day week.

Meltdowns - understandable
Losing the Plot - unacceptable
Breastfeeding - not liking right boob today

Non-child thats me..I am non-child related

[ok J here is a status update for you that is non-child related, although indirectly I guess it is...because, I guess that's what my life is now, child-related. After all I am just a mum. and because J,

♫ I believe the children are our future, let them teach us the beauty we posses inside, or is it...I believe the children are our future teach them well and let them lead the way,  either way, the children do both.   

It could be related to boobs too, (cos I might one day have a go on it and I might get wet and have boobs.  wet boobs. showing. See, that's non-child related.  Although, I guess that could be child-related too since so are boobs..which I also talk about, cos they are awesome).

It could be about learning about technical non-child related stuff like pressure and force, although I might at some point, post about how I find it brilliant that my child-related-small-things-that-merely-exist-in-my-life-that-I-am-responsible-for-not-fucking-up know about things like pressure and force because I have found a way to fix it. 

It could be about non-child related food since being outdoors is a great way to build up an appetite, I also talk about nutritious, organic, high quality healthy food and its counterpart, but, shit,  that could be child, non-child or adult non-adult, my life, non-my life related since we all eat food...(oh i'm beginning to like this song more and more now,  ♫ I believe the children are our future  ) ....anyway

It could be about angles that's technical non-child related stuff again, I could've misstyped that as angels, (a former boyfriend once wrote angles instead of angels on a mix tape for me and now I always think of angles and angels together), but damn, then it would be child-related..

hey..whaddya know I can't write about non-child related things.....I don't always agree with The Feminist Breeder, but I liked this post, it might help you J.


So, here is my sort of non-child related status update:-

We have a slip and slide from tesco, the water doesn't squoosh through the hose to the holes like it is supposed to. I've tried a shorter and a longer hose.

Why not?

I wanted to put, Maia bought it with her B'day money, but that would not make it non-child related.  

{Whilst writing this post, aside from EC'ing and feeding Millie back to sleep, twice,  I found this, substitute parent for teacher on most of it and especially the '14 things that matter most' bit. I agree with most of it. Might write about that, but don't look at either post,  if you are only interested in non-child related stuff)

Meltdowns - aplenty..first day back to school and nursery, so tired bunny's
Losing the plot - petulant teenager styleeeee, felt like a kid in the back of the car fighting with my brother.
Breastfeeding - unable to in car as boobs don't reach to front seat.  note to self and hubby: for long journey seats need repositioned

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

She did it!!

Ellie decided she was ready for a bike on the 15th July.  A  month later, after having about 5 or 6 practice sessions at her pace, with our help, instigated by me, she did it!  I wonder if now she knows she is able to do it herself, she will decide to go on it herself without prompting from me.  I am SO pleased I did not push her (literally and not) on this and fuck it up!!

Insight into a 5yr old's insanely tired mind at bedtime

The girls wouldn't sleep tonight.  They weren't tired, or they were, I don't know. I don't care any more.  They are asleep now.  It took 3hours.  It was disastrous in the middle.  Deals were made and broken many times by all parties.  I'm not talking about that just now.  I want to tell you the end.  The end went something like this: - 

After mentioning the dentist is on Wednesday, Ellie says she wishes it was on Tuesday because she wants a balloon.  I say 'you'll do anything for a balloon won't you?"

Ellie says she will do anything for ice cream, chocolate and a balloon.  Except stuff she doesnt want to do

"What don't you want to do?" I ask

"Go to bed"

She then says "What are the things that I get upset about that you dont let me have, sweetie stuff and other kinds of stuff?"

"I'm not sure" I say

"oh I get upset about going to lisas and not letting me go to the play park" she remembers 

I ask her if she remembers why we couldn't go to the playpark (we had to get home for an upset Millie)

Then she says "That is why I want to do things that I want to do and the things that you don't let me do"

"What is the stuff you are not letting you do?" she wants some help answering

"I cant think of anything" I say "I'm not letting you....jump out of an aeroplane without a parachute" I joke

"No no,  not that, things around the house that you are not letting me do that I want to"

"I cant think of anything" I say

"Id always have a parachute" she says

There is silence for a minute

"Mama when I grow up I'm going to be in Spain, live there, so I'm not jumping out of an aeroplane"

"You can do both" I say


I decide not to get into the intricacies.

"Well, if you wanted to, you could"

"I don't want to jump out of an aeroplane"

Silence again

"I know the stuff you wont let me do, is get ice cream.  That's the stuff that daddy wont let me"

"You often get ice cream" I answer

"Not in a tub, thats the stuff that daddy ONCE didn't let me"

Total silence

Meltdowns - yup
Losing the Plot - yupitty
Breastfeeding - before during but not after the disastrous bedtime tonight

Friday, 10 August 2012

Welcome to your kid's future

We took a trip to our local shopping centre because I needed to return a few items and Ellie had been talking about buying 20p sweeties from a machine for about a week and a half.  I am not that keen o the girls buying sweets but I thought how terrible could a 20p machine be? Its probably a wee gumball type machine with minstrels on one side and bouncy balls on the other right?


This thing is a monster.  It is right in the entrance so it is basically unavoidable.  It is filled with bubble gum (which I won't let my kids near) and chocolate and hard sweets and bouncy balls in an array of scary scary but of course enticing and exciting colours, shapes and sizes.  It is the most tacky thing I have ever seen come to the South Side of Glasgow!!

The main issue for me(aside from the nagging for it and the sugar) is the E numbers that are in most of these sweets.  They are the kind that are banned in many countries.  The kind that cause hyperactivity and sensitivities.  Some countries have already banned them.   Carmoisine (E122), for instance, is banned in Norway, Sweden, America and Japan. It is a synthetic azo dye which casues allergic reactions and hyperactive behaviour in children.  Quinoline (E104) the yellow colour found in sweets and soft drinks is banned in Japan, Norway, America and Australia.  It is a synthetic dye obtained from coal tar and causes hyperactivity in some children.  Ponceau 4R (E124) which makes the bright red and Sunset Yellow (E110) have been banned in Norway, Sweden, US and Japan.  They also cause hyperactive behaviour in some children.  And don't get me started on the blue sweets.  As I say to Ellie nothing in the world is that blue.  She argues with me that blueberries are blue but I assure her they do not use blueberries in those kind of sweets! If only!

You will notice that UK has not banned ANY of these additives.

"Food additives go a long way to explaining the exponential rise in the number of children in this country diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and other behavioural problems.
Nearly 400,000 prescriptions for drugs to treat ADHD are written each year, an astonishing 90-fold rise since the early 1990s." Article

In a city that boast 1 in 5 kids as obese and having the worst health statistics for diabetes and heart disease, I find it seriously remiss that this 'candy station' is so prominent and frankly should not be available at all.

hyper much?

In addition, having it displayed in the entrance is completely unacceptable and causes many issues and upsets before the shopping experience has even started.

Basically, I want them to remove the station from the centre.

I have started a petition to have the 'candy station' removed from the centre, please, for the sake of your children's health, please sign

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Mid Morning Plot Losing

When we are at home and the place is a mess, I usually, around mid morning, have a complete meltdown at the impossibility of the task in front of me.  Millie by this point, has been upset and unsettled all morning.  She has refused the manduca, so I fashioned the sutemi, which is too big for me,  into a side carrier and she finally fell asleep giving me a chance to sort the kitchen.  I feel good about that achievement, until I try to walk into the conservatory and realise the momentous task in front of me. It is basically impossible to walk freely around the house and that always causes consternation. Then Millie wakes up and is unsettled again.  To avoid complete meltdown this time, I write a blog and make a video.  Distraction, great for mums as well as kids.  

The thing that always precipitates these meltdowns is when I ask the girls to help me with something, or wipe up a spillage they have made, or put their dishes into the kitchen..It's nothing major that I am asking of them but more often than not, I am ignored which makes me so crazy.  These little thing that I ask of them all add up to make life just that little bit easier.  I don't think its unreasonable, but clearly I am in the minority.  I feel so frustrated and start to feel like a slave in my own home.  I start to act like a petulant teenager.  Why the *f**u*^45ck should I do things for them if they won't even do this small thing to help around the home.  Then I remember the whole modelling thing.  If I model helpfulness for them, and enjoyment in my tasks, apparently, they will follow........some days I get fed up waiting for this future I am creating and want it NOW.  It hard to remember that its the long term goal I am aiming for.  

"It is usually assumed that children who aren't made to obey their parents will grow to be unruly, disrespectful, and 'out of control'. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children who are treated with respect are respectful of others. Children who are listened to as equals listen to others as equals. Children whose opinions are valued value others' opinions. A family where parents and children are allies is a peaceful family."

Rue Kream

Monday, 6 August 2012

Day in the life of a part time EC'd Millie

This is a diary of Millie's Elimination Communication Journey on the 1st July.  She is 3months old.  

Awake at 7am, remove night time nappy (which is wet) and take her to the toilet and put her in EC position. She does lots of baby poop. (thick and yellow for a change). Breastfed baby poop smells lovely IMO!!! 

Millie just born
The EC position is her knees bent, her back to my tummy. This can be done over toilet, sink, bowl, bucket, potty, towel, prefold, bush, drain, pavement, grass...anything that's nearby and works!! Then squeeze your tummy muscles as though you are doing the toilet and make a pss pss sound. Make sure to use tummy muscles and not your anal ones!! The squeezing on their back with your tummy helps them squeeze to poop. Some people make a pushing grunting type sound for poo. The pss pss sound eventually becomes associated with peeing. This is incredibly useful for night time sleep peeing when older and siting on toilet.

Back to bed with nappy on. I want more sleep so don't respond to her pee needs at this time. 

Wakes 9.30am screaming. Take off very wet nappy for more poop. Calms down. 

Lying on bed with no nappy. She lies on a sheepskin rug and a prefold. The prefold gets almost all of pee if I miss and the sheepskin rug is waterproof and dries very quickly (think of sheep). Breastfed Baby pee does not smell and is sterile. 

10.15am Millie starts to get upset give her a peeop but she's just had enough of being down and wants held. 

Peeop in Israel
A peeop means a pee opportunity outwith obvious peeing times. This is basically putting in EC position and making pss pss sound. Since I EC part time I tend to give a lot more peeops than strictly necessary mainly because I am not totally in tune and slightly worried of misses. Also I am usually busy with the other two and easily miss cues so I like to give her a chance to just try. I also don't like being peed on! Hubby doesn't mind hence why it happens more often to him!!

10.30am peeop before going downstairs. Nothing. 

10.40am peeop before milk. Nothing. 

Whilst nappy free we sit her on a prefold in case of misses. If she is sitting on the sofa, we use a towel or prefold. 

10.50am comes off boob upset. Looks at me a certain way with fists in mouth. Take her to the toilet for a Poop and pee. Falls asleep on boob

Maia 5months Ellie 2
Sometimes baby's will give a cue to show they need the toilet. It can be overt such as the hand banging mouth or imperceptible such as stopping moving for a few seconds and looking far awayish as if thinking 'Oh!! I feel something'. Over time that feeling becomes familiar to them and they are more able to recognise it. I call it the "If you feel a Little Tickle that means you need to pee" feeling. The cue will be different for every baby. Sometimes though there are no cues or in the case of my first, I just didn't see them. 

Once you start ECing, your baby will know their elimination needs are being met and they will start to hold for longer to give you a chance to get to the toilet or bowl or whatever. 

Generally morning ECing generates the most pees in a concentrated amount of time. I am usually doing school runs and dog walking so I only go nappy free when I am feeling up to it. At home it's much easier. 

12pm Millie wakes up so take her for a wakeup pee. 

Just like most people, babies need to pee when they wake up. The 'wake up pee' is the easiest one to catch. 

12.15pm Millie with daddy as I have a shower. I hear a cry out from other room. Another pee!! Luckily daddy had a feeling and had Ellie bring him a prefold so he didn't get wet!!

Maia 26days old
Intuition plays a big part with EC. If you get a feeling you should act upon it. Sometimes their cues are so imperceptible that they only lightly touch your consciousness. I had an amazing EC connection with Maia (no2) whom I EC'd from birth. I always KNEW when she needed a pee. She was taking herself to the potty by one. 

A funny thing about intuition is that sometimes your own need to pee can be mistaken for your baby's need!! For some reason this amuses me no end!! It's a good one to remember. 

12.43pm pee op with daddy before nappy, nice big pee looking at smiley baby in the mirror

12.45pm Millie in nappy whilst we are at a workshop. 

Elimination Communication is all about the communication and should not be confused with training or become something that you MUST succeed in. I made this mistake with my first and became totally obsessed with doing it properly and getting it done that I completely lost sight of her needs and abilities. It caused quite a lot of consternation for both of us. This is why part time EC helps me as it takes the pressure off both of us. 

Maia 3months
3.35pm Millie asking for milk but upset on boob, really time to take nappy off. Bum slightly manky, meaning she held it in for as long as possible. She hates the feeling of poo on her bum (who does!!) so holds her poo for ages. Did more poop. 

3.50pm peeop nothing

4.15pm milk and small poop

4.30pm peeop before going in car it's a peefusal so she ends up peeing on prefold in carseat on way home

Peefusals, as I call them, are times when she basically refuses to go when she clearly needs to for instance when she hasn't peed for a while. I am not sure why they peefusal but it's possible it comes from too many peeops. Or they are asserting their independence. 

5.10pm peeop at home nothing as done in car!

5.20pm poo and pee after milk. Falls asleep. 

6.25pm wakes from sleep very upset. Pees. Relaxes. 

6.50pm Hubby has Millie whilst I make dinner and she's got lots of little squits going on and is unhappy. He decides it's nappy time because hes had enough really and she is ready for big sleep

9pm Millie stirs in her sleep. I know she needs to pee because she has her bum stuck in the air! Another reliable sign. As I am right beside her, I gently take her nappy off and give her a feedpee. She does a massive pee and goes right back to sleep. 

A feedpee is when I give Millie a peeop at the same time as giving her milk. It sounds contorty but it's actually really simple once they have sorted out their latch. The action of sucking helps her relax enough to pee. 

10.30pm Millie starts to stir again so I take her for a pee but she wants milk first. She is semi asleep and I know she needs to pee but I am distracted by keeping Ellie's organ recital to a low volume that she pees onto the prefold. It's fine! I'm dry! She's comfortable again and settles back to sleep

12.30am . She must have stirred, peed and gone back to sleep but because I was downstairs with unsleeping girls, I missed it.

Babies do not pee in their sleep. Often, babies who wake after only being asleep for a short time are waking themselves with the need to pee. They start off squirmy and get uncomfortable as they try to hold it in. They then usually wake up more, become upset, are given a boob which helps them release the pee and settle back to sleep. Sometimes though the need to pee is enough to wake them too much and it is harder to get them back to sleep. 

If they have never been given the opportunity to eliminate anywhere except their nappy, they will eventually lose the ability to hold it for any length of time and just eliminate but they will still be woken by the need to pee for a while until they end up learning to sleep through their elimination needs. 

Even though she will wake for milk, I nighttime nappy Millie till the morning because I am prioritising sleep.

A few good Resources:-

Hippy With a Mini Van EC post
Tribal Baby
75 Benefits of Elimination Communication
Diaper Free
Diaper Free Facebook Group 

Saturday, 4 August 2012

Grandma takes a picture

During the day, when we are out and about, I like to send a few pictures to hubby.  He loves getting them, specially if he is having a shit day.  Usually I am the one taking the picture so I thought since we were with my mum,  a picture of the four of us would be lovely so I asked her to take a picture with my iPhone.  

Ten minutes later and here is the result:

1)showing which button to press, practising a few

2)have a break and move position (I take a few)

3) I give up, try not to get too exasperated and take some of myself till she tries again

I just want a bloody picture of the four of us.  All looking the same way!!  I was so tsimished (done in) by the end of it!! Its not only with my kids I get to learn patience.  Thanks mum!

(I remembered whilst doing this blog, that I at the time, I also deleted about 4 pictures of feet, 3 of road and a couple of dark non ones!!)

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

I feel I'm underachieving all round at the moment. It's been a hard few weeks. Millie has cried a lot this week, not sure what's wrong. Lots of coughing. Lots of boob refusal too.  Probably teething.  It's always teething.   Also, my coccyx still REALLY hurts when I sit down or stand up. The meds for my back don't reach to my bum.

I'm too low and tired to make things work. I never get a moment to take a moment. When I do get a moment I tend to zone out for a bit instead of doing anything creative or productive or I eat or sleep. 

As if to prove my point, just as my mind becomes untangled enough to be able to concentrate and start writing, everyone comes home. The moment is over. I wasted it burning a pancake and watching a film that was out of synch. It was a quirky film and I quite enjoyed it. I might have fully enjoyed it if it had been in synch. 

That's what it feels like at the moment. I am quite enjoying life but not fully, just quite.

I haven't eaten properly. I burnt the second pancake so I gave up. The first was a pile of smoosh cos it was too big for the pan. It's never a good idea for me to be in charge of children when I am tired and hungry. The girls are also full of sugar which doesn't help either. 

It often feels like everything is conspiring against me. Pancakes burning . Out of synch films. Wrong parks. Unseen Trampolining. I really wanted to watch it. I went to an osteopath appointment for Millie instead. She needed that more than I needed trampolining. I really wanted to watch it though. The second chance to watch it and I ended up having couples/family lunch organised by a rabbi at shul. Not sure which *I* needed more. Catch up tv hasn't caught up so I'll have to wait. My needs and wants are second place again. It's not a massive thing. It sort of feels massive though. 

I'm being watched

 I have been living in three children land for 4months today. It's been an unbelievable journey so far. Many highs. Many many lows. Some days I turn round and still can't believe I am a mum. Some days I forget I have three! Some days I can't believe what kind of mum I am and am becoming.

Some days we don't get dressed!

I keep thinking about this meme that's been going around recently. I'm not feeling a great example to my kids just now. That bothers me. They watch my every move.  That freaks me out.

The girls aren't going to bed partly because I'm hungry grumpy and tired. Bed time is always longer and worser when I am not patient loving mama. I know it's confusing and horrible for them when I'm like this. Barry takes over.  I know they want me.  I try to be calm but I don't manage it. Then I apologise and try again but it just doesn't work. Barry takes over again and settles them.

I'm out of synch. 

I think I need reset. 

Meltdowns - completely in synch with whats happening
Losing the Plot - waaay out of synch
Breastfeeding -out of synch

Friday, 3 August 2012

Tell me about Mummy

My friend's blog had this post and I decided to do the same!

Tonight I asked Ellie (5yrs 8months) all about Mummy :-

1. What is something mummy always says to you? I love you
2. What makes mummy happy? Giving her a kiss
3. What makes mummy sad? Hitting her
4. How does your mummy make you laugh? By being very silly and doing stuff silly
5. What was your mummy like as a child? I don't know.  I don't even know a thing about it..oh I know..you were fighty cos your brother was always fighting with you
6. How old is your mummy? I can't remember can you tell me 67? 84?
7. How tall is your mummy? 10ft tall
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Is to love me
9. What does your mummy do when you're not around? Have a massage (that is what happened tonight)
10. If your mummy becomes famous, what will it be for? Because she's a very great singer of baby mine
11. What is your mummy really good at? finding stuff in the garage (?????)
12. What is your mummy not very good at? Tidying up (OMG!!! turn out she was talking about her clothes)
13. What does your mummy do for a job? Look after us
14.What is your mummy's favorite food? fried egg (??)
15.What makes your mummy proud of you? By me making you smile
16. If your mummy were a cartoon character, who would she be? Bananas in pyjamas
17. What do you and your mummy do together? We love each other
18. How are you and your mummy the same? You do stuff that I do
19. How are you and your mummy different? Cos we haven't got the same kind of hair
20. How do you know your mummy loves you? Because she always loves me
21. What does your mummy like most about your daddy? That he can fix broken things
22. Where is your mummy's favorite place to go? your actual favourite place to go is...guess!.....To the end of the runway to see the planes taking off lie in the grass and watch them go over her head

Lets hear your kids answers! Link to me below