I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Going out for some fresh air

This evening, around 7.30pm I forced myself to stop moping on the bed and take dog and kids for a walk in the pouring rain. IN THE FIELD!!  Even managed Millie on my back in manduca, country life must be making me stronger!! Humphing logs certainly does!! Came back and had a real proper honest to goodness, hose and buckets and watering cans water fight. Then we all had a lovely hot bath and chicken broth. I love this bath it's deep and short. Like me :D

Proper cheered me up though after a few weeks of moving house stress, living in boxes, no wardrobes or sofas and possibility of no fields, hardly seeing hubby, fighting with hubby and loss of GGSam and HoneyPig. 

I'm rather happy I made the effort and changed my head space and physical space. 

Nothing like fresh air to sort things out. 

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Field of Dreams

Had our first set to with the new landlord and he has effectively banned us from using the field (which I don't know if he can do). 

He previously said we could go in it if there were no animals and then during conversation said he had never said that. He also said the field didn't belong to him so needed to speak to someone else (not sure who?)

I was pretty hysterically sobbing at this turn of events because these fields represented something bigger for me not just the freedom for the kids to roam freely.  I'm hoping he was just having one of his infamous grumps and will change his mind. He did so a few times during the conversation.

I thought I was protecting his garden from water damage as he stipulated very carefully we had to look after the garage but apparently the field is more important. 

I'm seriously upset but hoping it's just teething problems. 

The other thing that came from the conversation that I never even considered was that the fields will be sprayed soon.  Batten down the hatches.  Chemicals abound. 

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Things I've learned in the country. Part 1

Post from 6th July 2014 that somehow became unpublished 

Today we did a big transfer of many many boxes and pieces of wood that used to be book cases. It appears all our boxes are either books or toys!!! Hubby called a man with a van who turned up just like that. No fuss. No waiting. No messing about. Brilliant!! 

I stood in the new kitchen staring out the window for ages not knowing what to do first or where to put anything. I have been waiting for inspiration and creative ideas for inside the house but they are not really coming. My mind keeps wandering to the outside and all the wonderful things I'm going to build and do out there. So, I quickly emptied some glass dishes I hardly ever use and the bread maker I haven't used in years into a few  cupboards and dashed outside. 

Last time we were here I cleared out the shed in preparation for the guinea pigs. As much as I love piggies, the hay mess was not so much fun anymore.  

Also since we were last here the landlord, who is the local farmer, decided to use our garden to keep his motherless lambs. The place I had earmarked for the girls play area was now totally covered in sheep dung. At the time I saw them, I was excited for having sheep in our garden and said it wasn't a problem. I didn't really think it through. Not until the girls ran through the house and traipsed poo all through the new hall carpets!!!! OMG! We had only just got the keys, the place was empty and immaculately tidied by Farmer Johns lovely partner and there was I cleaning dung of shoes in the sink and staring at an already manky carpet!!! Welcome to the country. *sigh* 

So back to today. With hubby doing another van run, I set to sorting out the garden for the kids and here is what I've learned in the country today: sheep dung might look dry but underneath most certainly isn't!!

Farmer John also turned up and we chatted about my plans for his garden. He's a lovely funny man with particular ways and likes to make sure I know exactly how things should be. He says I should be a proper mother and take my kids to the play park instead of ruining the grass in the garden with a paddling pool (trampoline). Is that the same grass the sheep are currently ruining with poo!! I laughed. What else could I say!! I'm sure he's joking but in that 'actually I'm not really, I'd rather you did, but I know I can't make you' kind of way!!!

I don't actually mind him showing up unannounced as long as he doesn't mind me or the kids in various states of undress!! 

Three hours later and the main play area is pretty much cleared, the chicken and dog area will just have to stay as is. The dog will probably eat it all away and the chickens won't care. 

The other brilliant thing that happened in the country today (well since we are not connected up) is that the girls played played and played all afternoon!!!!!

Oh!!! Also a bat somehow flew into one of the rooms and gave us all some excitement and nature!!

I love the country!!!

Meltdowns - tiny ones over nettles
Losing the plot - faaaar to busy for that! 
Breastfeeding - in the country!!

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

I think I broke Summer

The first day of Summer went amazingly well.  We all managed to get out and to the train station (on time) and get ourselves to the Country Park.  We had enough food that it didn't matter about the refused food.  The weather was beautiful and I even managed to hold off Maia's incessant repeating nagging to go to the play park whilst we enjoyed natures play park. We didn't get home until 5pm.

We were DOING summer. It was happening!!!

We were all on track for the second day and a trip to the West End for a lovely singing event in the park.  I was feeling really good about our abilities to get out and do summer stuff. I didn't even care that lunch was basically fruit.  I was actually starting to look forward to our many planned and unplanned days.  Clearly I was being too smug about it all because BAM! I crashed into the car in front.

After copious amounts of swearing, I checked everyone was ok, which they were thank G-d. I checked the car which wasn't and swapped details with the lovely other driver.  Three older people. Oh shit, I hope I didn't break their summer too.  I then called hubby to come and rescue us and broke down crying.

We needed the car for moving house at the weekend.  I was supposed to pick up the keys from a few towns over.  We have a gazillion boxes which we were going to start transporting. 

We needed the car to explore our new countryside.

We needed the car so we were not isolated in our new rural home.

We needed the car for our summer of busyness.

We are supposed to get a courtesy car, but there is currently a problem with a missing photo licence and also the car will be a very small one that doesn't take Riley (or lots of boxes).

It's all going to work out though, summer is still happening. There will be walking and buses and trains and more home days.  Today thought I'm feeling lacking in coping and ability to actually get going but....

It's all good.  

We also got to see the big big lorry take our car away which was pretty cool fun!

Meltdowns - none :)
Losing the Plot - yes.  quite a bit already :(
Breastfeeding - I need it to cut down, someone pass the message to the Millster