I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Day 12 - Pain Day

I am in so much pain when I wake up today, I decide not to get up.  Hubby changes Millie before he goes to work and puts her back on my boob and there we stay.  I don't really mind the girls finishing the ice cream.  I love listening to them play house in the next room and not disturbing me.  I hate being in so much pain.

The soft play really did a number on my coccyx and yesterday I did a mega hoover and house tidy.  That's an on hands and knees with attachment type hoovering.  So my back and coccyx are agony.  My back has completely seized up and I cannot move and every movement is awful on my bum bone.  I feel old and decrepit. And I have headache.

It also kills my mood.  I warn the girls to ignore my shouting today.  I am snappy.  I am grumpy.  My patience is shot. Pain is a bugger in so many ways.

They have swimming today at 4.30pm and every 5minutes since 12pm,  Maia asks me 'Is it time to go? Is it time to go?' She loves to repeat. It drives me nutso!  Got to love her enthusiasm though.  So thankful they have no concept of time yet as its been really useful today.  'Before we go swimming we have to.....'  So far we have brought plates into the kitchen, put cream on sores, carried nappies upstairs and best of all you have to blow your nose and be snot free before you go swimming!!

Fight the pain mama
I also had a major crack down on their tv watching today.  I felt it was making them really angry and grumpy and sedentary. They don't kick up a fuss and go off to play...I want to say 'go off to play happily', but it doesn't quite happen that way.  Throughout the day they come to me complaining the other has hit them.  I listen to their story, empathise with their pain and remind them we don't hit in our family.  I am sure there is more I could be doing but today my resources are too low to manage more.  So they have bouts of playing brilliantly and bouts not so.

Meanwhile, Millie is feeding a ton and still feeling the effects of my pizza.  Her bum is red raw and she is farting like a trooper.  AND Ellie has given her another cold so she is full of snot and unbelievably unhappy about lying flat again.  She is not a happy camper either.

Swimming is too short, its only half an hour and the girls needed to pee one after the other this week, so the minute I sat down, which is incredibly painful,  I am up again and then up and down again.  Whilst drying the girls, the mum next to me starts complaining about her hubby buying her kids crisps before dinner....I rush the girls and their chocolate minstrels out the door!

Once home, Millie has a complete gurgling snot filled screaming painful squitty pooping meltdown.  I shove two carrots and some lentils in a pot call it soup and count the minutes until hubby comes home.

Meltdowns - Millie sized one
Losing the Plot - most of the morning due to pain
Breastfeeding - all morning

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