I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Monday, 30 June 2014

Summer lovin' happened so fast

It's summer again. I'm going to make it count this year. It's going to be SO summer holidays that winter holidays will be wishing they could join us. I really am. It's going to be chock full of fun and summery type things. There'll be summer happenings and summer stuff and summer nights and summer lovin' and summertime.  There will be nature and excitement, sports and energy, seaside and ice cream. It's all happening. 

 It. Will. Rock. In a totally Summer way. 

Tomorrow (today) I'm aiming to get everyone out of the house and to the train station for 9.36am. We will have a big bag of food which I will now prepare in the morning because I only just noticed at 1.21am that tomorrow's NIN was a time scheduled train catching day trip. I will do all this because it's summer and it will not be stressful in any way shape or form noooo sireeeeeee because it's not like getting up for school and because it's summer.

On Tuesday I will get everyone to the West End by car for a sing song in the park. That will also involve outdoor food that I will have to sort. This is not like school at all either since they are packed lunch and I don't usually have to organise lunch for three entirely different tastes.  

On Wednesday we may frequent the local Jewish group and dabble in some arts and crafts after that. Food will be horned in somewhere or during these activities or perhaps biscuits and humzzingers will suffice. 

On Thursday there is another opportunity for outdoor nature play. Food will be arranged by the magical summer fairys who also incidentally will go shopping for said food because we are far too busy enjoying summer to be doing that kind of shenanigans. 

We will start to move house next weekend. That will be super fun. 

We are possibly going camping the weekend after. I will find suitable clothes, food, camping gear and accoutrement in the relevantly and organisedly packed boxes that I will have already unpacked and sorted. This will happen because it's summer and things happen in summer. 

There is also the bigger camping trip next month which will involve a wonderfully summery 7hr drive with a car which will be suitably packed by different summer fairys. These are hardcore badass super organised ones that have infinite energy and the will to live through summertime.

I am fairly optimistic that I have plans for summer. OK, I definitely have plans for a happening summer. Bring it on! Summer starts now!

After I've slept. 
Who's with me on my insane summer of insaneness?? No pressure!

Meltdowns - decreasing due to summer
Losing the Plot - gone on holidays for summer, sort of
Breastfeeding - summer timetable (lots)

Friday, 20 June 2014

Schools got no talent when it comes to inspiring pupils

My girls school had better NOT have destroyed my wee girls spirit and love of singing by forcing her to audition without music (she practised with music and was expecting to do it to music and it's completely different without) and then telling her she isn't good enough to be in their end of year talent show. 

The purpose of the curriculum for excellence is encapsulated in the four capacities - to enable each child or young person to be a successful learner, a confident individual, a responsible citizen and an effective contributor.

Do you think that has happened today?

No, she has come home feeling not good enough, feeling cheated, disappointed and judged. 

Yes there were lots of people wanting to take part but it should not have come down to one persons opinion on wether she was good enough. Do the talent show over two days. Let everyone have their turn. With music or accompaniments or whatever else was needed. 

Well done school, you've TOTALLY filled my girl with confidence and inspired her to want to go back. NOT. Actually, she is already asking not to go next week. 

I don't want to be coming across as some show business type pushy mom but I really despair at the stupidity and callousness of what could have been a really exciting time. They had a perfect opportunity to bolster and boost a small girls confidence but instead they chose to crush it. 

Edit: I've removed the name of the school and there is some confusion as to wether music was offered and for when. Anyway that's not really the issue. The point is over the competitiveness of young children

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Could this be it?

So the farmhouse just wasn't meant to be because 'what's for you won't go by you'. It's what I keep hearing and as much as I love this phrase there is still a part of me that wanted to be *that* far away from civilisation. I'd had enough of it. I needed to get away from it and its inhabitants. It's not been very 'civil' to us so far. I wanted to run away and hide in the remotest place possible. But, there was a reason we didn't get it. Apparently. And probably it was too remote. 

Anyway my efforts are now being concentrated on a new place. All my thoughts are how this will be our new home and it will work. It's still in the country but not quite as remote. It's in a small village and our drive home revealed, very close by (3miles) a leisure centre, a tesco, a co-op, riding stables, a soft play thingy and a bit further away (5 miles) THE most amazing country party with woodland trails, a fishing loch, a crazy assault course, a castle AND a forest school!!! Unbelievable. Maybe homeschooling with added forest school AND Nurture in Nature could help persuade a certain unbeliever. Or maybe flexi schooling. Or maybe even moving to a local smaller school. That parts still undecided but I know which one I want!

The house is the last in the village which then has a dead end road about a few miles long leading to a few farms. Also the farmer said if there were no animals in it, then we could go into the field RIGHT AT THE END OF OUR GARDEN!!! A garden that has possible (landlord willing) potential for lot of things like chickens and vegetable patches and tramampolines!!! There was also a random sheep in the garden cutting the grass. How handy is that!!! It's not too far from the main line into town for hubby to commute. It will take longer and he will probably be home later but it won't matter because we will have a field!

OMG we absolutely must get this house and if we don't that phrase will need to be bloody real because I will once again be devastated. 

I need vibes. Great big going to get this house vibes. Field vibes. Real fires vibes. Snowed in during winter vibes. VIBE ME. Agents office opens tomorrow. 

Meltdowns - go run it out in that there field 
Losing the plot - go walk it out in that there field 
Breastfeeding - in a field! Why not!!!

Friday, 6 June 2014


Maybe it's me. Maybe I will never be happy wherever I am. Maybe I will piss off and upset people so much that they will shout at me and call social services on me wherever I go. Maybe it's me. Maybe I should tow the line more. Do as they say. Be the perfect citizen according to them. Raise obedient children, mow my lawn and not worry my pretty little head about anything.  Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.  Maybe I should put on my trousers, wear my shoes and just smile and nod. Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Maybe. 

On the plus side my blood glucose level is within normal range and I lost 5.5lbs during the last three months. 

But I have been shouted at by a neighbour (again) and shouted at by a check out woman and lost my remote-hideaway-fuck-everyone-the-world-stinks farm house to some other people who will now have fields all around them for miles and be able to wear no shoes or trousers whenever they feel like it. 

Ah well what's for you won't go by you as the saying goes. 


Meltdowns - I forgot to feed them so quite big
Losing the plot - quite substantially 
Breastfeeding - of course :)  

(links this week give more details since I'm not in the mood to re-tell and also, the breastfeeding link is just lovely!)

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Positive Filter Day

We all medicate our crap in different ways. Be that with, among other things, drugs (prescribed and recreational), yoga, sour dough starter, meditation, diet, work, kombucha, exercise, thrill seeking activities,  food, meat, no meat, beans, sex, that stringy stuff on vinegar (the mother load), singing, dancing, laughing. Screaming. Silent screaming on the inside, alcohol. 

Some ways are more effective than others but we are all dealing with our baggage. Some handle it better than others, doesn't mean to say there is any less shit. Some are hardly ever out of the craziness, some just experience it every so often. 

Very few are totally almost sorted. 

No filter for a day. Is that something that could become a thing? #Positivefilterday.  Last time there was a national no day, it eventually became a complete ban in public places #smokefreeinsides. Perhaps it will become the norm to have no filter either. To be honest without fear of consequences. To have a true and honest heart. To have no agenda. To have no resentments. To speak without fear of loneliness but to be left alone if need it. 

Everyone say how they really feel without intentional harm.  Emotions aren't ignored or left to implode in a pool of resentment, hurt and pain. 

Once a year, everyone has to respond with a real answer. Be a real person. Show compassion. Understanding. Kindness. Patience.

Those that know how, can show those that don't. 

Someone show me. Sometimes it feels like I'm doing it all alone over here. 

I know you are all out there though.      

                     **Waving back**

Losing the Plot: been on the increase recently, needs to be checked
Meltdowns: been on the increase recently, needs to be connected
Breastfeeding: been on the increase recently, must be needed

Free Meriam Ibrahim

You are to go to prison. 

You are to die. 

Actually no, you are to have your baby first, in prison. 

You are to labour and give birth shackled and chained. 

You are to breastfeed your baby, sustain your baby, love nurture bond attach and give your all to your baby. 

For exactly two short years.