I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Friday, 30 November 2012

The proof

I recently posted for help on my FB wall. 

In an effort to prove to my mother that my friends also have 'different priorities' and to help me feel better about her frequent nasty remarks about our home, I asked people to post pics of their homes. The fact is, I am constantly tidying and she NEVER comes round in that '10minute window' when the house IS tidy!

Here are the results. I must say, I DO feel better about our home! I will show these pictures to her at the weekend.

Please do keep the pictures coming!


Meltdowns - on the increase
Losing the Plot - on the decrease
Breastfeeding - soooooooooooooooooooo much

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Yer Maw

Whine Time

I'm having a crisis of capability. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and how to do it or why I am doing it.

I'm having wine now.

The house is empty and quiet but its at that stage where I am waiting for the silence to be Shattered. Splintered. Broken. Ruined. You know. The initial high is over. AN EMPTY HOUSE. I can do anything. Woohoo. What shall I do? Save the world? Save my the house? Save myself?

I'm having wine now.

I can do this.

It's a phase.

I can do it.

I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm all grown up.

Wow it's fucking hard

Meltdowns - mini Maia ones and teeny weeny Millie ones
Losing the plot - too late. Save yourself
Breastfeeding - I used to be a Lactivist then I was too busy lactating.

You know what?

Saturday, 10 November 2012

But I wasn't doing nothing.

I've got Lennie syndrome.
Don't google it
I made it up
Besides googling symptoms is scary.

It's Lennie from Of Mice and Men
He loves too much

I have Too Much Smooshing syndrome.
I don't think there is a cure for it.
Who'd want one anyway!!

" His love for soft things conspires against him, mostly because he doesn't know his own strength, and eventually becomes his undoing."

I have this with Millie. I want to hold her and love her and smoosh her and kiss her and and and....and invariable after the giggling she cries out "aaaah enough mummy". Well it's more like "eeeeaaaaaaaaagggnnnnnrrgggh"

Anyway. Every time I do it, I feel like that cartoon character:-

She is just SO oooooooh. Smooshable. Oh I could eat her!

Besotted much??!!

I'm sure you're the same!

Friday, 9 November 2012


I can't do this blogging every day thing. I'm just not able to. I either fall asleep with the kids or watch a program with hubby then fall asleep. There are just not enough minutes in the day!

I really ought to dedicate a time and space of my own and just do it. It would probably be good for me. I am doing this just now whilst feeding Millie to sleep in between dinner and bed time for the girls (who are currently soaking and shrieking in the bathroom).
- interrupted due to shrieking being actual upset and pain- interrupted thought. That's another problem. I don't think I've had a consistent thought since 2006.

Crap Millie's crying

I give up

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Today my babies

Today my baby knocked a plant over tipping out the water that had gathered at the bottom and proceeded to eat the soil. The crawling has begun.

Today my baby refused to wear or take her coat to nursery. Again.

Today my baby wouldn't eat her breakfast because she was so busy watching My Little Pony. Which also made her late for school.

Today my baby had a meltdown in B&Q and refused to get into the car because I wouldn't buy everything she wanted.

Today my baby went to the art galleries and drew pictures of the faces. Happy ones. Kind ones. Sad ones. Angry ones.

Today my baby cried every time I left the room.

Today my baby sat on my knee to read a book and told me to put my phone down.

Today my baby took her medicine without a fuss. The course was finished, she wasn't even meant to!

Today my baby sat on the toilet and the potty for her pee-pee.

Today my baby took fish fingers out the freezer put them on a tray and started making lunch, carefully counting out six each.

Today my baby brought her bag in from the car without being asked.

Today my baby carried her sister to me when she was crying and I was peeing.

Today my baby made her own sandwich after school. It only had ketchup in it. But still. And she wiped up after herself.

Today my babies let me sleep while I slept with my other baby.

Today my babies did their thing.

Today my babies seem not like babies at all....

Today my babies wouldn't go to sleep until they were cuddled up next to me

Meltdowns - none
Losing the plot - none
Breastfeeding - some

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BANG!!

Yes, I missed yesterdays blogging.  I fell asleep with the kids.  I wrote some of it in my head but the need for sleep took over.  Apparently, I can now blame it all on low ferritin! Not just content with giving birth a mere 7 months ago, still breastfeeding, still waking through the night and having two lively other kids, I can now blame low iron stores levels on my insane tiredness.  I look forward to amazing bounding unstoppable energy coming my way very soon!!

What I was going to tell you about was our Fireworks night.  I love fireworks.  They are magical and exciting and just. plain. cool.  The girls have been indoctrinated from birth.  Ellie was one for her first (being born at end of November!), Maia was 4months and Millie had her first show last night at 7months.  When they were young, for days before, I would pretend to be a firework and whizz bang pop as loud as I could, to get them used to what was coming!

Maia spent the whole afternoon whipping herself up into a frenzy of excitement spending the hour before going repeating lets go lets go lets go ad infinitum until hubby was home and we were sitting eating dinner as fast as we could whilst she was pulling on us and repeating.....only to fall asleep in the car before we got there.  She was gently woken by Ellie bawling 'FIREWORKS' in her face where she promptly burst into tears and refused to walk to the display.  So she went in the sling with daddy, meaning I had to back sling Millie.  I was hoping to rest my back but had also wanted to see her expression whilst on hubby's front.  

Once there, we found a good spot and within seconds, the display began.  Timing!!  Within another few seconds, Ellie decided she wanted to be on hubby's shoulders and whilst being hoiked up there, kicked Maia in the face with her VERY muddy boots.  Maia was understandably upset and covered in mud.  Then the man next to me started shouting 'BANG, oo awesome' in THE most annoying way BEFORE the bloody things had exploded.  I was beginning to wonder why I had bothered but decided to try and push that thought aside and listen and watch the joy.

It was worth it, Ellie oooooh'd and aaaaaah'd and screamed and squealed whilst Maia took joy in seeing Millie completely mesmerised by the amazing spectacular show.  I even managed to ignore the annoying banging man (almost!)

We then came home via a peek at a massive bonfire then happened to gatecrash a lovely neighbours display, where they gave us a packet of sparklers each for the girls, so sweet.  We took our sparklers out onto the roundabout and enjoyed some more of the night.

             I love fireworks!

Meltdowns - a muddy one
Losing the Plot - in B&Q earlier in day, another story..
Breastfeeding - not at the display (thank goodness!)

Sunday, 4 November 2012

So almost nearly

It was almost a complete total almost success. It was almost a successful evening in a restaurant with three kids. It was ever so nearly an incident free party for grandmas 70th full of her close friends and family. Almost.

To be fair, the kids coped brilliantly with the whole affair. It's been a long time since we've felt able to go to a restaurant as a whole family. It's not a common occurrence. It's not fair to expect small children to keep calm and quiet through a whole meal with the waiting as well. But to their credit and with some reminders from us 'we are not at home , so we use cutlery' 'restaurants are not for running in' that kind of thing, the girls coped fantastically. They kept themselves busy with balloons and trips to the toilet. Hiding under the table and behind sofas. The noise was kept to a minimum. I felt completely not stressed. I even managed to eat some of my meal hot. And my cake went down a storm.

So there we were, almost on the home run. The girls were becoming floobier by the second with cake piled on jelly beans piled on a sip of champagne. Still they were coping. They were happy. There were no meltdowns. I felt like the proverbial 'mom enough'. All of grandmas friends were suitably impressed with our deeeeelightful children. Grandma was kvelling to her hearts content. Then it happened. Disaster struck. Poor Auntie E. Bless her. She was singing to child on her knee. It was all too funny. It was all too much. Child was too tired. Laughed a bit too much. And the spell was broken. Broken in a puddle on the floor. And all over Auntie E. She took it so graciously. Thank you Auntie E!.

If only we'd left after the cake.

Meltdowns - a bit of a dribble
Losing the plot - nope!
Breastfeeding - in a restaurant no less!


Shit. Forgot to blog. Made cake though for mums 70'th. Lots of sugar. Yummy chocolate cake. So resolve for less sugar for kids didn't last long as they got to lick bowl. Well. You got to!

#7 Cake broke. #7 Candle broke. Tried to glue them back together. One with real glue. Lets hope restaurant is dark.

It's 2am now. So not writing more as could be here all day. Lots to say about kids. Me. Behaviour. Mine and theirs. Lack of connection. Too tired. Need to sort it out. That kind of thing. Nothing you've not heard before. I'm sure. I'm stopping.

Goodnight day 3 of blogging every day. Although technically it's day 4. Right. I'm stopping now.

Friday, 2 November 2012

What's the worst that could happen?

I'll just have a wee lie down with Millie I thought. 
I'll set the timer I thought.
No problem I thought.
Except. Maia had my phone and for some unknown reason, she changed the timer to 20hrs and deleted a ton of my apps.

I woke up and looked at clock and thought its fine its only 2pm. Got another hour and half and fell back to sleep with Millie softly clutching my boob. Ah bliss. Except. Shit. It's early closing for Shabbat. Schools finished. I'm still asleep and so is Millie and evidently so is Maia who is lying fast asleep beside me with the phone still in her hand. I grabbed Millie and ran to the car. Realised other child wasn't following and was still fast asleep. Grabbed ankle of sleeping child and shoved her into car in a daze.

I'm still trying to figure out if shouty mama is a befitting natural consequence because quite frankly I can't think what it could be? She not only got to play with the phone, she also got to have a lovely afternoon nap. Where's the consequence in that???? It also probably means she won't be tired tonight! That's just crap consequences in my book.

I also haven't worked out the natural consequences of this little act of upset ->

Meltdowns - yes
Losing the plot - oh boy :(
Breastfeeding - with a lovely afternoon sleep!

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Namobloopoo? Nanoonanoo? Nablomopo?

So. Apparently it's blog for a month month. (Thanks Melissa). No idea what it stands for but I am going to try this challenge. I'm currently hiding out in the bath from a seriously mentally sugar filled day. Bloody Halloween. Love it but hate it. Maia has had nothing but chocolate sweets and lollipops all day. She pretended to have her breakfast. She ignored her lunch and mucked about at dinner. Ellie took her sweets to school so they dealt with that side!! No idea how much actual food they had today but the results were not pretty. So I am hiding.

Ok spoke to soon. Hubby's given up trying to deal with two sugared up toddlers and a baby. He's brought Millie in. The other two have followed. I feel like Mrs Large except they are not coming in. I have to get out.

Hmmm blogging everyday for a month? Can I do it???

I'd like to do it with pics but this great app onto phone which WILL make blogging easier, doesn't let me add pics where I want.


Meltdowns - oh boy
Losing the plot - hiding in bath
Breastfeeding - better than sweets