I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Monday Middle of Holiday Slump

Millie has been upright all day. She is also not impressed with my left boob today.

Everyone is ill. Millie has a bad croup like cough but thankfully no temperature. Ellie randomly pukes again and Maia now has Ellie's old lady wheezy cough.

I quickly run down, heat up some left over porridge for Maia who woke first and had a shower. I then run downstairs to get a homemade porridge ice Lolly for Ellie who is now awake and in the shower. Today they will be watching a lot of tv. I know this. I make my peace with it till about 4pm when I instigate a coup and turn off the tv to some consternation but no major meltdowns. I also didn't get to rest much this weekend so I am knackered and G-d I feel old sometimes. TV works today. .

My main concern today is Millie. She has a terrible cough for a wee baby her age. I am willing it to not get any worse. The girls are too bleugh to do anything except lie. I know how they feel!

I was requested the pleasue of my attendance to watch with them at one point and as much as I want to watch a little girl dressed up as a strawberry shortcake being a mum and looking after a littler girl being a baby trailing a pretend wagon with a dog in it, i manage 10mins when I realise it's a film and not a short so I am just going to have to leave mid film as I have my own shortcake girls to look after today.

Millie falls sleeps at midday having been awake and mostly upset crying snottiness ad coughing since about 6am. She managed a few smiles in between. She has refused my left boob since last night and it's getting bigger!! I don't have time to express so it'll just have to grow. I am desperate to sling her and get on with things but I don't think I should. I can feel my body aching from weekend exertions. G-d I feel old sometimes.

So I stay upstairs with her, hold her upright, clear her snot which she hates, hold her over a steamy sink of Olbas oil which, typically finished at that moment so I couldn't do it again later, give her pulsatilla for the snot and chamomilla for the screaming. Feed her on my shrinking right side after screaming abdabs everytime she went near my left boob. Basically just help her feel better. All without moving about too much. I manage to sort out the two blog posts from last week and catch up with some on-line support and friends. I find Millie can wedge and feed whilst I stand and use mouse and type with one hand whilst holding her with the other. I figure it cant be as bad as this... can it? I am standing cos my bum hurts to sit and I'm just that hardcore!!

I say on line support cos even though I have done it with my other two, being with an unhappy unwell baby is heart string breaking. Now I know she wasn't dying or anything G-d forbid but this was her worst day so far, she wasn't a happy camper and that's still hard for a mummy to see. I kind of freaked out at one point with the screaming and coughing as I always tend to do but her temperature was normal and she was still feeding all be it only or side. I get rational and realise its only been a day mega coughing and not feeding on one side, she is not lethargic or floppy. Her fontanelle is not bulging except when she screams, (that's probably what freaked me out most). Anyway a quick chat with my online friends who all parent similarly to me calmed me down. I checked the archives too and found a few suggestions, main ones being the steaming and the fresh air. I don't remember the other two being this young. It's so sweet they are sharing germs already. *sigh*. G-d I feel old sometimes.

I kick into my instincts to be on full blown alert today. It must have worked because I caught Ellie about to spew and get her to the toilet with remarkable agility and minimal meltdowns. She was about to freak out either at the thought of spewing again or at me trying to make her go into the bathroom (how dare i tell her what to do!!) . She must have remembered the other day and decided keeping it contained was a more preferable option. It's all dealt with brilliantly and efficiently. Just what you need with 3 sick kids!! Maia just stays under the covers and coughs. She is still eating so I'm happy with her progress. She has yet to get worse before the getting better.

Ellie was at the getting better stage so this spewing seems so random. I briefly hope it's not the echinacea tea with a dod of honey in it. How long does made up tea last? I drink some too just to be sure it's not that. I also briefly suspect honey but don't have time to think about it. She wants more pancakes anyway so she can't be that bad. Maybe she ate too much too fast. Maybe it was eating strawberry and banana pancakes with ketchup. Who knows?!

I made a great upright type comfy bed today for Millie's one deep sleep. So I feel comfortable leaving her for a bit so I could feed the girls. . A lot of crying and a lot of coughing beforehand. I Feel bad leaving her unwell at such a young age but I knew she was deeply asleep. Best intentions and all that.

I quickly make an italian omelette. My cousin has an Italian partner, the egg dish has an Italian name, I cant rememeber it but it's basically an omelette with rice in it to make thick easy to hold pieces. This time I add butter beans and red pesto too.

Millie is in a sorry state of snot and cough. She is basically screaming when she is awake. And not sleeping for very long. She is still refusing my left boob which is now massively painful.

I've asked hubby to come home early. I often text him saying come home come home come home and he doesn't. Today he is home 40mins early. It seems not much but it makes a difference.

I manage to have a much needed shower with a bowl and I hand express my left boob in the heat. I use it to wash my face!! After the shower, I feed Millie on my right and when she is almost asleep I do a quick one two changeover and stick my left one in!!! She doesn't notice and oh sweet relief as she empties it. Nursing Strike averted.

It's been a long day and we've still got bedtime to do. G-d I feel old sometimes.

Meltdowns - too pukey
Losing the Plot - too busy
Breastfeeding - going a bit wonky

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