I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

There would have been a perfect moment

There would have been a picture tonight of us in the succah but we forgot.  It would have looked like a really cool family picture. You would have looked at it and maybe thought wow don't they all look like a great happy together family. 

It would have been fake though.

It wouldn't have shown Ellie in a bad mood with me for first sitting on her seat , then at me for not being specific enough about which bowl wasn't hers and making her think it was about a fork, even though she didn't have a fork. It wouldn't have shown Millie upset at not sitting close enough to daddy. It wouldn't have shown Maia not there as she didn't eat much then left to watch tv and me becoming more and more upset at the lack of cohesiveness and quality family time and the constant bickering, fighting and tv watching. 

(Also it's a Yom Tov 😉)


Sukkot - Harvest Festival, a Hebrew word meaning "booths" or "huts," refers to the Jewish festival of giving thanks for the fall harvest.  It also commemorates the 40 years of Jewish wandering in the desert after the giving of the Torah atop Mt. Sinai. Sukkot is celebrated five days after Yom Kippur on the 15th of the month of Tishrei, and is marked by several distinct traditions. One, which takes the commandment to dwell in booths literally, is to erect a sukkah, a small, temporary booth or hut. Sukkot (in this case, the plural of sukkah) are commonly used during the seven-day festival for eating, entertaining and even for sleeping.

Barry built his first Succah this year. It should be covered with leaves and decorated with hanging fruit and decorations. We are supposed to eat our meals in here and sleep if possible for 8 days  (it's not possible!).

Meltdowns - really weird nonsensical ones at the moment
Losing the Plot - getting out of hand again
Breastfeeding - still happening. I'm usually ok with it. There needs to be cutbacks now. 

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Who are you again?

I was lying in bed looking at hubby, thinking I haven't looked at him for this long without interruption for a long long time. Feels like forever. Like actually looking directly at him. Not loading the dishwasher and talking. Not passing each other in the hallway on the way to do something. Just direct looking and seeing. 

If felt odd, I don't remember his glasses being so dark and thick. I don't remember his eyes looking so young and tired at the same time. 

It prompted me to work out how many hours during the week do I actually see him. Maths isn't my strong point so it wasn't easy. I think I also made it needlessly complicated as is my habit. 


There are potentially 120hrs in those 5 days when I could see hubby. 
8am-7pm - working 11hrs a day out of house - 55hrs a week
11-7am - sleeping 8hrs a day - 40hrs
Total - 95hrs not seeing each other

That leaves 25hrs a week which is 5hrs a day

5 of those hours don't count because they are the one hour in the morning when neither of us are in the same room at the same time until we say goodbye. Mwah. See you tonight. 

So that's now 20hrs, 10hrs of which don't count because we are getting the kids to bed tag team style until one or both of us falls asleep with their respective kids that they last had to lie with. 

So that's 10hrs a week  2hrs a day. 

But they practically don't count because we are in the same room but we are watching TV or other screens!

So never. We never see each other during the week!! 

The weekends are different. Some weekends we have stuff to do and sometimes it's separate but I've taken the average here. 

48hrs at weekend on average 24 of them are sleeping.  Which leaves potentially 24hrs available which is 12 a day. 4 of them are getting kids to bed so that's 8hrs. On average one or both of us are out the house say 2hrs a day so that's another 4hrs. Which leaves 4hrs at weekend. 

So basically at the moment out of a possible 164hrs for the week, I see my husband about diddly squat!!

It's a good thing we're in this for the long haul!!

Meltdowns - minimal
Losing the Plot - usually about 5.47pm
Breastfeeding - tons and tons