I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

WE ARE IN!!! It's a project!!.

We have the keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a dodgy start to the morning where the other sides solicitors delayed things for a couple of hours, through their complete incompetence and annoyance, we finally picked up the keys.  We had organised for the chimney sweeper to arrive but had to cancel because of the delay, this means the our hope to start drying out the house as soon as possible, so we can move in,  has been scuppered.  

Anyway......it's ours it's ours it's our...oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck....IT'S OURS!!!! Well it's the mortgage companies but hey who cares!!!!!

Technically we have only seen inside the place once (there was a breakin a few weeks ago and  managed to sneak a peak then too!) and that was about 6 months ago, so today was like seeing it for the first time again.....I was caught between amazement and fear at what we had just done!!!

Last year in September, I decided to follow a wee road to see where it went and ended up at the back of the windfarm at an abandoned house on the edge of a forest in the middle of nowhere.  As a family, we love exploring abandoned houses so I took everyone there at the weekend.  Over the next few weeks, we went there quite a lot and talked about how we would love to live there and we tentatively tried to find out about it.  It was during one of those visits that I noticed another house that I thought looked abandoned but might not be.  We peeked in the kitchen window and there were things lying about, so we weren't sure.

Then, in October we found out we needed to be out of Hemphill sharpish and the first house fell through, so I decided to contact the owner of this maybe abandoned farm and so began the 7 month long trip that brought us to Tayburn's door.

I followed my dream and made things happen. I am in awe that it worked!!!!

I've uploaded some pictures in an album HERE which I will be adding to as we go on.

Here is a video of the inside...they had emptied pretty much everything out which was a bonus we hadn't expected.  I hope to do a video diary of our adventures........

Losing The Plot - at around 12.30pm today when I was told the keys were delayed
Meltdown - massive one from Maia, who saw the inside for the first time today and had big feelings
Breastfeeding - distracted quite a lot today from it, even at Tayburn where she kept saying ' want to go' repeatedly

Thursday, 7 May 2015

I'm done

Screen Free Week

Well the girls were brilliant today and played the whole time with not a mention of screens. We all went to Glasgow to vote and by the time we got home it was bedtime. Sorted for another day!!

Me on the other hand. Well I've cracked. I've had a look at facebook, I've used messenger, looked at websites and I've played a few scrabble games.  I couldn't take one more evening feeding Millie to sleep staring at the ceiling with my thoughts. 

It's 11.24pm, almost Friday and the tv is being connected as we speak and the girls will have the choice to use it tomorrow. I'd be most impressed if they chose not to but somehow, I doubt it.

As experiments go, it was interesting. The kids made the most of it and played brilliantly all the time, whilst I felt I just washed more dishes and didn't stop till I fell asleep!

I might suggest a screen free day just to keep up the pretence that it's better to be unplugged than plugged in!!

Losing the plot - Millie's clinginess tipped me over the edge today 
Meltdowns - zilcho
Breastfeeding - lambs would feed less

read about the first day here and the other days here and here

Wobbler evening

Screen Free Week

So yesterday was hard. I was all for giving the girls their tablets, at bedtime no less!! 

When hubby got home, he sat and read to them for half an hour whilst I sorted some stuff and got the lamb feeding ready. Then they all fed the lambs and I took Millie to bed, of course I fell asleep with her so that was the end of that. Except, I woke up at 11pm. Hubby had read more to the girls and they had eventually gone to sleep without further upset of no screens.

Since I was hungry, I ventured downstairs expecting to find hubby on his tablet but nope, he was feeding the lambs a wee bedtime snack!! So when he came in we actually talked for an hour or so, then I went back to bed!!! It was weird!!!

The next day everyone was up and out and Millie and I were busy until lunchtime. She asked for a film at one point but I distracted her with looking at pictures of the lambs (does that count?!!). Anyways she was outside with me not long after.

The girls will be home soon from school and there will be 4hrs of space. I wonder how it will go.......

Losing the plot - hardly
Meltdowns - none
Breastfeeding - as ever

read about the first day here and the other days here and here

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Midweek wobbler

Screen Free Week

I've had enough. I want my internet and my tv back. I want to be able to look stuff up when I want. I want to play scrabble. I want to go on facebook. I want to relax at the end of the night and watch crappy stress releasing American tv series's. 

Ellie's had enough. She came home from school played with the neighbour kid then out of the blue had a massive meltdown. She tried to get the TV to work, the cable had been removed, she tried to get the computer to work, the cable has also been removed, she can't find her tablet, it's been hidden. Poor girl completely lost it, started shouting and bawling, wouldn't let me touch her then ran to her bed. Little did I realise she had my phone and had found a wee pocket of 3G!!! When I took my phone back, she completely retreated inside her covers and refused to speak to me. She eventually fell asleep for half an hour. JUST BEFORE BEDTIME!! AAARRGH!!!

Maia has had enough. She nagged incessantly for her phone until I told her I didn't know where it was. She has managed to keep herself busy though playing with the lambs and having me read book after book to her. 

Millie hasn't actually asked to watch anything during the day. She's been happy to potter about with me. I'm absolutely  sure she wouldn't say no to being plonked in front of Peppa Pig. I'm not ashamed to say that her tv watching is purely for my benefit. 

Hubby gets to be on his computer all day and on the bus home so I bet he gets his fix. He's been printing stuff off from websites and reading them at night. Also I've been going to bed so who knows what he's been using!!!

I'm not sure about pushing through until Friday. It would be an achievement for us all but I'm just not sure I can manage another two days. I don't think it's fair to force the girls now. They were so keen before but now it's like a torture punishment!! I'm the one who is with them until 7.30pm, so it's like torture for me too!!!

We are all screen junkies. We like our screens. We like watching things. We like playing games. Where's the harm? There is more harm with meltdowns and freak outs and forcing the experiment to its conclusion. Really I'm not the best person to ask to continue this. Even to prove we can do it and get that sense of accomplishment. For what? Upset and resentment? 

Hmm, screen free week doesn't seem like such a great idea anymore. We were all happier before. Not feeling pushed and coerced. 

Wow! Are we addicts? 

Losing the plot -  too tired 
Meltdown - humongous and out of nowhere
Breastfeeding - fights galore

read the about the first day here and the other days here and here

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Screen Free Week Day 1

We decided as a family to do screen free week. The girls basically come home from school and have the TV on until bedtime. They use the computer too and their tablets. Sometimes they play whilst these things are on but there is never a moment when all screens are off. Hubby and I get the kids to bed and come downstairs around 10pm and watch TV until the wee small hours. Sometimes the wee small silly hours. I felt it would be good for all of us to have a break. So, wifi is unplugged. The tv is unplugged at back to stop temptation and the computer plug is hidden. 

Today was a bank holiday so the whole family was home. As is always the bloody way when they don't have to be up, the girls woke ridiculously early and went downstairs. Maia had a sneaky go on wolf quest until she was reminded by Ellie that we were screen free! The girls then spent the rest of the morning, until we came down, pretending to be the TV using a box. They made a remote control and had lots of fun being different channels!!! Not a moan for the real thing in site. 

Being a holiday meant hubby was home so I set him to work!!! Together, we sorted the garage, fed the lambs and tidied the house. I find it much easier to keep busy when I have company and I reckon because we were so busy, the girls kept busy too and they played outside the whole time. 

Later on, we took a drive meaning to go to a cool antique shop but it was closed so we went to the supermarket instead!! Hardly comparable but we needed some things. 

The rest of the evening was also spent playing outside on the tramampoline, on the bikes, now using the TV box as a robot box and then feeding the lambs. They just managed to be busy all the time. It was quite incredible to watch.  

I took Millie to bed at 9pm and our experiment to find out what hubby and I would do without tv was scuppered as I feel asleep completely exhausted from our non stop day of being active!!!

Losing the plot - none as kids were busy playing and out my hair
Meltdowns - none as kids were busy playing  
Breastfeeding - nothing's gonna change that habit!!

read the rest of the week here, here and here

Impulsively planning

It all started with a Freecycle add urgently looking for someone to take some motherless lambs. Well actually it all started with lambing season. Ok. It started with my broodiness for another baby!!! 

Driving along the main road every day it's difficult not to notice all the newborn lambs appearing in the fields. There are tons of farms around here and the girls and I have stopped loads of times to watch these tiny cute bundles feeding from their mamas.  All of us at one point have said 'I want one'. 

So, the Freecycle ad. I finally got hold of the lady and unfortunately they had all gone. She suggested I put my name in the local auction website or local farming something. To be honest, I'm not really sure where I put my name or what the ad said, but the very next day I got a text from a farm nearby asking, "are you still looking for motherless lambs". YES! was the resounding reply. Followed by ten minutes excitedly screaming round the house with the girls after showing them the text, before they had to go to school!!!  

I managed to drag the big dog cage into the woodshed. I had procured it off Freecycle last year with a view to using it somehow with the chickens we were supposed to get. It has lain unused in the kids play area the whole time and really only used by them to pretend to be animals! I felt bad that it was being wasted so I was pleased to finally have a proper use for it. 

Millie and I went to playgroup then left early to pick up the lambs using a box in the boot!

The lovely lady at the farm could tell I had no idea what I was doing and I think she thought I was a bit loony!! I joked that I was going to breastfeed them which she found most amusing!! Her husband had a very dry sense of humour and a thick accent and I could not understand half of what he was saying to me!! I came away with instructions to feed 4times a day and very little other information. I am learning 'on the hoof' 

Anyway, there we were with two very small lambs in our boot and off we went to the farm shop to get our supplies. Milk replacer and two teets. That was it! She said they would fit on any bottle, so we dropped in at tesco on the way home and bought a pack of small water bottles. They didn't fit. Luckily hubby already had large fizzy water bottles and they fit on there, but they were cumbersome. I later bought baby bottles which worked much more easily. 

By Saturday I had found my groove on the feeding front and we decided it wasn't fair that Ellie and Maia had named and 'taken' the lambs as theirs and that Millie didn't have one so we took a trip back to the farm to pick up another one. My eye was caught by a really cute tiny looking one and the farmer said if we took the bigger one he'd throw the small one in for free and suggested we name her runt!!

So here we are with 4 lambs. I never imagined I'd be making formula and feeding using bottles!! It's such a weird feeling doing it when I know all these poor babies want and need is a mother to feed from. It's hard knowing we have broken their continuum even if it means we've saved their lives.  They are so vulnerable and lost looking and in fact they follow me around like little lost sheep!! 

We've decided this is a great opportunity to start our farming life even if we don't have our farm yet!! Lambing season is nearly over so we had to move fast. The quote 'build it and they will come' comes to mind. I've already sorted out mousers and a house cat too!!! 

Losing the plot - I think I have lost it
Meltdowns - each child at least once a day
Breastfeeeding- 4 at a time is maybe a bit much 😉