I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Sunday, 31 March 2013

You see, the thing I didn't mention was...

You see, the thing that I haven't mentioned is that I shouted too. I was very angry and outraged that some random shopkeeper would shout at my girls and was even angrier that he was not even feeling the slightest remorse, in fact he felt he HAD to.  When I called him up later to let him know, he all but said they deserved to be bawled at from half way across the shop.  I mean how else are they going to learn that being loud is sometimes unacceptable??!!! I know he was stressed and busy...but hell aren't we all at times, it doesn't mean the kids should cop it. "Children reflect the treatment they receive"

I've been focusing too much on the guilt of me doing it too(again)(and in public), of humiliating them and me. So much was I focussing on the negative, which I have a dreadful tendency to do, I was forgetting that I got everyone up and out the door without any shouting, coercing and nagging.  It was an easier morning because the girls weren't at school today due to late night ear pain and awakenings and sore noses from picking so G-damn bloody much.  I digress.  We first took the dog for a walk, fresh air a must when not feeling great, then we went to the hairdressers because Ellie an unexpected burst of enthusiasm about hair cutting (in other words, she didn't change her mind, again) and then to the dreaded deli, after consuming chocolate and potato scones. In hindsight, I see now it was the end of a long day of high stimulation. They were hungry. I was tired and under pressure. I was having a ridiculous conversation with the woman behind the counter who was being quite unhelpful and obstructive especially given my lack of cooking and storing of frozen foods knowledge.

I should have stopped. Taken a breath. Taken them outside and calmly explained that they could not run round the shop and they needed to stop making so much noise. I should have removed them from the situation. Told them they had to stay outside or go back in the car but that they could not come back inside the shop at that moment.

What annoys me most is that the majority of people think its normal and ok to shout at children and feel justified in doing so. Most people feel no remorse for their behaviour or even consider apologising for shouting and being mean unnecessarily. I do think it was. Unnecessary. 

Most people that I have spoken too, have a memory of being shouted at by someone other than parents and their lingering memory is fear and upset.  How can that be positive?

Meltdowns - hardly any
Losing the Plot - a big ole public one..oh the shame...
Breastfeeding - still going strong.  I'd have loved to have seen the reaction had I needed to do it in that shop!

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