I showed the doctor what I'd written down because I always cry when I talk about what's going on for me at the moment. He basically said most of it sounds normal for a mum with three kids, my kids were great and I was very lucky...but let's give them a try and see how you feel in a month. They also take 6-8 weeks to kick in. I'm not great at math but that doesn't add up to me. Anyway. I came home took one at lunch time, felt nauseous for two hours later and couldn't eat again till the evening. Now that was an unexpected bonus!!
Fact is I was still not sure I should/wanted be taking them, then hubby came home with a new Potters herbal potion and I changed my mind and went with them instead. A heady mixture of valerian varian and hops. Apparently I'd be better off drinking beer for the hops, but I don't like beer. I feel more comfortable taking the herbal remedy 'for the symptomatic relief of tenseness, irritability or agitation due to the stresses and strains of modern life.
I was incredibly and irrationally pissed off that hubby had brought them home on the same day that I'd made the decision, braved the doctors and taken a pill already. But I took a few Potters (from now on called Pot) tablets and decided to Let. It. Go.
Now to find my JOY. Started with a dog walk with my mother and Millie had her first encounter with the outside ground in a wood. It's finally dry enough! She'll be a NIN (nurture in nature) baby yet! I feel bad that she has not had the NIN experience yet unlike her sisters who were practically outdoors from birth!
Meltdown - possibly a smallish one over non food eating
Losing the plot - over the car seat. Every trip (the eldest one)
Breastfeeding - every couple of hours at night, prob teething, no sleep