I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Mid Morning Plot Losing

When we are at home and the place is a mess, I usually, around mid morning, have a complete meltdown at the impossibility of the task in front of me.  Millie by this point, has been upset and unsettled all morning.  She has refused the manduca, so I fashioned the sutemi, which is too big for me,  into a side carrier and she finally fell asleep giving me a chance to sort the kitchen.  I feel good about that achievement, until I try to walk into the conservatory and realise the momentous task in front of me. It is basically impossible to walk freely around the house and that always causes consternation. Then Millie wakes up and is unsettled again.  To avoid complete meltdown this time, I write a blog and make a video.  Distraction, great for mums as well as kids.  

The thing that always precipitates these meltdowns is when I ask the girls to help me with something, or wipe up a spillage they have made, or put their dishes into the kitchen..It's nothing major that I am asking of them but more often than not, I am ignored which makes me so crazy.  These little thing that I ask of them all add up to make life just that little bit easier.  I don't think its unreasonable, but clearly I am in the minority.  I feel so frustrated and start to feel like a slave in my own home.  I start to act like a petulant teenager.  Why the *f**u*^45ck should I do things for them if they won't even do this small thing to help around the home.  Then I remember the whole modelling thing.  If I model helpfulness for them, and enjoyment in my tasks, apparently, they will follow........some days I get fed up waiting for this future I am creating and want it NOW.  It hard to remember that its the long term goal I am aiming for.  

"It is usually assumed that children who aren't made to obey their parents will grow to be unruly, disrespectful, and 'out of control'. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children who are treated with respect are respectful of others. Children who are listened to as equals listen to others as equals. Children whose opinions are valued value others' opinions. A family where parents and children are allies is a peaceful family."

Rue Kream

1 comment:

  1. all i have to do is ask harry to get dressed or eat his breakfast and i get yelled at and told i've hurt his feelings!! what's that all about??? Grrrr