I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Tomorrow is ball day

Tomorrow is ball day
Tomorrow is playful day

I keep realising that I am not being as playful as I could be....I am just too damn tired most of the time to remember.  

It's a clever tool and I watched it in action today....but actually it didn't properly work in the end.  I think for me it's really a distraction from the reality of what is going on.  Yes I see you are upset...but hey lets make light of it and turn it into something funny and light..its not that important to you is it?  It works for a moment but then...hey hang on I was upset about something and that wasn't acknowledged, now I am upset and annoyed to boot.  I still admired the imagination and quick thinking to try and distract though....certainly useful in other ways.

The other playful parenting technique which is meant to work really well is turning things into a game like getting dressed....run past me and if I catch you, you have to put these clothes on....I'll chase you for a bit and then you put these clothes on.....I do play this game sometimes where I shout 'come here' in a really loud over the top voice......all very exciting but in the end my two still won't put their clothes on if they don't want to....oh yes mum, we'll play your game...but only with our rules.  The main problem I have with this playful parenting technique is, as I said, I can't be bothered with the faff.  Just put your clothes on or don't I don't care ether way and it doesn't really matter!

Anyway, I decided to be playful mum in a different way and we took a ton of different balls including the big birthing ball, to the park, went to the tennis courts and released them all.  My mother turned up just as Maia was running about screaming loudly, as kids do when excited in a big open place in a park, outside.....she told her to be quiet...then told me to shut up when I suggested that if Maia couldn't shout with joy in the park where could she?  I wonder where I get my not playful side from???

1 comment:

  1. Alright, giving it a try again. :-)

    I'm not a big fan of distraction, though I probably used it once or twice when desperate. My mother used it on me all the time and I hated it. I remember laughing AND hating it at the same time. She still does it and it makes me think twice before talking to her about my problems.
    But it probably depends on the general connection you have with the kid. My mother used it on my sister, too, but they have a completely different relationship anyway and my sister isn't affected that way at all. She says she found it confusing, but not upsetting. But we've got completely different personalities anyway.

    Turning things into a chase (or any "acting") game doesn't really work well for us. Dd often gets so wired and caught up in it, it just becomes a shrieking crazy running around thing and it's very difficult for her to stop. (Quite likely I can't do it properly :-) ). But puppets work reeeeally well for us. If a puppet (anything, sometimes it's just my hand) asks her for something she's a LOT more likely to listen to it than to me. Sometimes I talk to her clothes or her tooth brush or whatever, and ask them to reason with dd. ;-) It works really well on her, but she's into puppets anyway.

    The ball thing - fantastic!!! I am sorry about your Mom's comment though. :( It really sounded like loads of fun.