I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

I have a idea

I have a just had a pee revelation, whilst giving Ellie a pee opportunity, I said to her in her mostly asleep but still need-to-pee-sleep phase, the one where she probably doesn't hear me, but the possibility is always there and some of it goes into her psyche "Soon enough, you will be able to pee just before bed and then hold it all night".  Thought I might try and subconsciously plant the  'going to the toilet just before bed' idea  in her head since she is resisting it just now.  Because it wasn't her idea. How manipulative is that!!

Then i thought....hmmm I am sometimes not able to hold it in all night myself...( although two kids could be the reason, that and not keegling).  So then in the interests of less pressure, I said 'or until you are able to go to the toilet yourself' because we all know that going to the toilet in the middle of the night is not an easy task to master straight away..  You have to be steady on your feet, in the dark, you have to know where everything is, in the dark. You have to be able to find the toilet paper, in the dark...all difficult things for a three year old during the day never mind at night...who wants to put the light on at 4 in the morning? You want to feel calm and relaxed and able to go back to sleep, not stressed and upset because you misjudged the bed edge and tripped on a toy brick only to find there is no toilet paper left.  

We've decided that although Ellie is able to pee on the potty, which is on the bed, then go straight back to sleep, that perhaps she isn't ready for the walk to the toilet even with help.  Barry suggested carrying her there...as a starter for full on 'on your own without freaking out and needing someone there' toilet mode.  She'd freak if Barry tried that and there is no way I am carrying her!

Sometimes though I think if I am having this thought, then its for a reason...is it to change things or to realise that the way we are doing it is actually ok and working.?  

Maybe we could try the sleep walk to the toilet walk.......maybe another night!

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