I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Hangers or bust

It wasn't even about hangers.  You know that way, you are trying to make out like everything really is ok, you can push things out of your mind and the day really is going to go great....well the hangers spoiled it.  They were all hanging there at funny angles sticking up, sticking out instead of just hanging like hangers should and that's when it hit me.  That's when I realised that actually I am upset. The hangers weren't how they should be.  Things aren't how they should be.  I spend an inordinate amount of time realising that things just aren't how they should be...when really I should just be getting on with how things are.

I can't even possibly begin to tell you all the things that Ellie learned today but one of them was that people don't like being constantly harangued or bullied.  Maia among other things, learned that she has a voice and is heard, not that she was in much doubt.  Maia was enjoying herself tremendously in the bath tonight and decided she didn't want Ellie to join her since most times it ends up with Maia being harassed by Ellie, becoming upset and wanting out.  Ellie came downstairs with her I'm upset face on and telling me she was upset about Maia not wanting her in the bath with her.  I could tell it was her 'I'm upset but really I know why' face and not her 'I'm upset and I don't really understand it' face, so I asked her if she knew why Maia might not want her in the bath. She changed the subject and refused to talk about it!  Amongst other things, I told her Maia loved her, Mummy loved her and Daddy loved her and to go get a book and we can read it together instead.  

But...Before I can breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't say "serves you right you annoying little snotbag, now time for bed", I probably should have thought more about reading Five Minutes Peace by Jill Murphy,  because whilst it's a fun book with great pictures of Elephants, it doesn't really follow the previous conversation. "Yes you are my wonderful daughter and I love you and would share my bath, beanbag and life with you but I want FIVE MINUTES PEACE!!"

or maybe it does....."Yes you are my wonderful daughter and I love you and would share my bath, beanbag and life with you and I want FIVE MINUTES PEACE!!"

Anyway she chose the book, not me and either way, she went to bed happy... that's always a good sign

Meltdowns - a couple but not major
Losing the Plot - none
Breastfeeding - saves the day as ever

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