I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Stop it you idiot

I'm trying to discuss the power of words with the girls and I tell them about the rice experiment. We decide to give it a go. I prepare the rice and jars and the paper to go round the jars. I explain to the girls that one jar is hate and one is love. I give Maia the hate paper and Ellie the love paper and ask them to draw/write on half (I've drawn a dividing line)

Unfortunately Ellie becomes so confused with what I am asking her to do, she ruins the paper twice and we have to redo it. I am already seeing the effect of negative words on her as I exasperatedly shout you are not listening, why don't you listen? OMFG again? What are you doing!!! She buries her head in her hands then looks at me with confused tears in her eyes. Oh crap I am evil rice. 

We eventually get it all sorted and Ellie's hate drawing is a brilliant depiction of her feelings. She really poured out her angry feelings towards me into those words. Maia on the other hand found it very hard to remember she was doing hate and a lot of her people had smiley faces. Ellie changed them for her!!!

So now we speak love words towards the love rice everyday and towards the hate jar we spew our anger. I've given it the finger already. Quite cathartic actually!!! Over time, the hate rice is meant to go moldy and gross whilst the love rice stays fluffy and lovely (well fresh anyway since mine didn't really fluff)

I'm really interested to know if this experiment works but in reality we already know the power of negative words on our children. Even my children know as exampled by tonight's interaction leaving Maia in a sobbing mess upstairs. Interestingly I did notice some hesitation in Ellie's voice just before she called her sister an idiot. I guess she was thinking of something worse! 

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