I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Share This!

Why does Maia want to learn the value and benefits and appeal of sharing by refusing to share with me?

Why does she have to pick the hard way!  Why couldn't she just want to!!!

Ok, so its really the hard way for me, since i now have to honour and respect her 'NO, I don't want to share' because if I were to now force her to share then what would that be showing her?  That sharing is something you HAVE to do, even if you don't want to.

"The child learns to hate sharing or saying "please" and "thank you", as his formative memory of doing so is that of resentment, being controlled, and being unreal. In doing something while not wanting to do it, he is learning to hate the expression of being grateful (sharing etc.) and the natural authentic development of his manners can be delayed." Naomi Aldort (not PhD)

I happily share anything I have, made a point of it when Ellie was younger and she now shares easily and with no qualms.    Ellie unfortunately also has no qualms about sharing(having some of) Maia's food which I think has made her more guarded of her goodies.  Ellie also likes to swap, which often means when that when she has half finished or accidentally dropped portions, she tries to swap with Maia's fuller portion. Perils of being the youngest.

Its no wonder Maia isn't keen on sharing just now!!

The other downside of 'making' Maia share (its almost laughable to me that people actually do this still!! MAKE your child share, I mean it sounds so ridiculous to me now!!) Anyway, the downside is, in my experience, when my kids feel they HAVE to do something, they resist and that gets us all nowhere on a big fat slide to meltdown.

Resistance is Futile!!

Meltdowns - seem to be on the up
Losing the Plot - holding their own
Breastfeeding - yup!

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