Hubby tells the story with adlib in brackets from me

I was really pleased with the house today, tidied up inside and it looked really nice.  (Grandma and her big sister were coming over). Miri lit the Rayburn last night after yesterday's problems and it was nicely warm, though we commented that it didn't seem as hot. (How foolish we were to think positively about it and decide the blockage must have cleared and it was running better)

About 7pm Miri was in the bath (a skanky left over kids hair washing night type bath, it was warm. It did the job) and I was in the kitchen making dinner for the girls, and I noticed some steam coming out the boiler door cover of the Rayburn.  Then there seemed to be more, and I could smell oil.  I opened the door and saw water coming down, and the more and more came.  The Rayburn was no longer lit and water was now pouring out below the burner.

The kids were watching and I panicked them by chasing them out of the kitchen as I was worried some boiling water might squirt out. (I heard a kerfuffle and pretended not to) Then I turned off the water pump and opened all the cold taps to empty the tank, as the stopcock to the Rayburn is jammed. (At this point I was shouted out the bath by panicked voices, I am naked)

The tank is big and lots of water kept coming.  We were putting down all of our towels to catch it.  (I am still naked) Miri noticed the back hall was flooded and lifted the linoleum. (Still naked but all less panicked) We weren't sure where it was coming from.

Eventually (after an hours naked towelling) the water slowed to a trickle as the tank emptied and finally stopped. (I got dressed)(I then start sweeping the water out the back hall, which brilliantly is made of concrete. Old Farms!! Yay!!!)

Meanwhile I'd called the emergency plumber, who didn't want to come out tonight. It was 10pm by the time the water stopped. (Meanwhile I make hubby call our emergency cover as it's still slowly leaking out the Rayburn and the floor) (Meanwhile I am still towelling the and gathering towels and squeezing towels and loving towels and thanking the G-ds I have SO many damn towels)

Then a different emergency plumber phoned Miri and said he would be with us in 10 minutes.  (Maybe he'd heard about the nakedness??!)

He fitted a stopcock on the pipe leading to the cold water inlet to the Rayburn and cylinder.  That meant we could turn the cold water back on but none would go to the Rayburn or the cylinder.

Then Miri realised we'd need hot water and so the plumber stopped off the pipe leading from the cylinder to the Rayburn, but so that the cylinder would still fill. (I then cheekily asked him to look at our leaking toilet and he said it needed a new syphon and basically the cistern was gubbed when put in, not impressed. Only put in two weeks ago)

All seemed great until we noticed the back hall was flooded again.  My diagnosis is that water is running back from top of the cylinder down the hot flow from the Rayburn to the cylinder.  This would normally flow the other way. (Whilst he was diagnosing, I was yet again towelling and brushing water out the back hall into the byre. I was dressed this time)

(The upshot of the following picture means we have water just no hot water and no Rayburn 😭)

Meltdowns - mostly mine

Losing the plot - big time when Ellie punched the newly recovered punch bag into Millie's face which made her fall off her chair and land on the concrete byre floor. 

Breastfeeding - I'm beginning to wonder if it will make me feel better 😳