Diary of an unconscious mother: FB or bust: plug me in please

On my very very slow journey of self discovery, happiness and learning not to 'give a fuck' and be that strong confident mum I profess to want to be on my blog title, I am finding myself conflicted.

The last time I came off Facebook for a few weeks, we found a new home! I've now been off for nearly a couple of months enjoying that new home!! Part of me really thinks the FB break gave me the time to contemplate the situation and then deal head on with hubby about our living arrangements. I keep imagining what would have happened if I had just carried on complaining on FB about the old place and the neighbours and the this and the that and just carried on putting up with my situation hoping things would get better. I know for a fact that the support I received on FB also spurred me on to making a change. And there is my quandary.

For a start, the repetitive nature of FB (seeing the same memes and articles) irrationally irritates me. I keep wanting to shout 'where have you been? I knew/saw/laughed/gasped at that aaaaaaaages ago'.

The different time zones and paces of life on FB means I sometimes miss connecting with certain people and then it's becomes hard to follow their story. There's a lot to catch up on sometimes and feels hard to ask 'WTF? are you talking about' because most people have limited time and that kind of question requires longer responses and an actual real time dialogue!

Apparently, 'I haven't been on FB for a millisecond' isn't an adequate excuse anymore! Soon it will be streamed live into our brains and diminish the capacity for original thought.

The other annoying thing with the time zones is I end up staying on FB for so much longer than I had planned because I want to scroll right back through the whole day or two or however long I was away from it just to catch up with all sides of the globe. I acknowledge that this is probably a 'my addictive personality' annoying thing rather than entirely FB's fault but I do think FB has a lot to answer for too. It's a bit like giving a gambler a freebie at the casinos every so often.

Hello my name is Miriam and I am a FB addict.

The final thing about FB is, it is very very hard to have an opinion and keep it without someone somewhere getting really nasty shit on you because they disagree with you. It's uncalled for and doesn't really happen in real life, does it?. That level of nasty can be quite upsetting at times especially for someone as emotional and sensitive as I am realising I am.

Anyway for all those negatives, I keep coming back to the one crucial crutch that keeps FB going....

Being off the main wall and my groups has been good for me and my addictive personality but I'm finding I'm really missing connecting with my FB friends.

I have been so busy with the moving and the summer holidays and the country life that it's only in the rare quiet moments do I realise, I am still quite isolated here and it was comforting having all my FB friends, some who are now IRL friends, so 'on hand'.

My quest to find new friendships here is a slow going process and with the kids back at school the quiet moments are becoming longer.