I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Play with me please

Get me. This year I have finally managed to organise a schoolgirl playdate for Ellie and the return date at ours AND today the  illustrious N will be in our home for Maia. I cannot tell you how utterly unbelievably excited Maia is.   She has told literally EVERY person she has met today. Not even met, just walking past them was enough for her to tell them her exciting news! We cycled to the park today. Thats a lot of people! She has talked about this girl from nursery for the last year. She was devastated when the girl moved to P1 this year but continued to adore her from afar.  I hope to G-D they don't cancel.

Now, the playdates I tried to organise for Ellie last year were pitiful. It was really hard!! I knew no one really and felt waaaay out of my depths in the making friends category but did my usual plunge in and try.  Try to be friendly and suggest the ubiquitous 'lets get a playdate organised'. The schoolgirl in me was having schpielkies.  I came up with just one which was never reciprocated. It was either me or Ellie. I blame Ellie. She eats with her fingers, never brushes her hair and last year she was deaf for a lot of it, so shouted A LOT. The others must have seen us coming because I got bupkis from my attempts. It's hard drumming up playdates. I found it hard enough making and keeping friends when I was in school, now I'm expected to help enable my daughters to do it.  Also everyone seems so busy.

As much as I think it's important to hold on to my kids I realise my kids are growing up with the same 20 or so kids for the next seven or more years so I think I need to help them, at this stage, to foster friendships. My brother has the same group of core friends he made in primary school more than 30yrs ago. Something I have always been jealous of. I think it's different for boys though.  Also it's fun for them to have playdates! I have the schoolboy playdate nailed because of my friendship before school started.   It feels important though for them to have schoolgirl playdates too. One of my hopes is they have enough confidence and self esteem to not be knocked by the whole friend making business because it fairly knocked me for six and did a paranoid number on me. 

Strangely enough I actually find it easier when the girls have friends over. They are happy and busy. That's a powerful combination

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