I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Wednesday, 27 March 2019

Feelings. Fuck em. Burn them all. Burn all the feelings.

How could I be so insensitive and selfish and greedy and self-absorbed  and stupid and crazy and delusional and ungrateful?

I sometimes feel people are thinking these thing's or variations of these when they see me with three kids already but wanting another baby. All part of sentences some people say and things I have heard. Insensitive to those who can't, should be grateful for what I have, selfish for wanting to add to population,  crazy for wanting another. I feel guilty for wanting and terrible for obsessing, I feel desperate and scared, I feel useless and over needed, I feel aimless and stuck. I'm overwhelmed with all of it and it's constantly changing. I feel all over wrong for everything.

Now what?

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