I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Thursday, 21 September 2017

If you aint got nothing nice to say, dont say nothing at all

Platitudes platitudes. There really is very little to say. If you can't think of anything. Say that. Don't platitudes.

Don't say.

You can have another one. I know that. I want the little girl I had. Don't you see the difference? You can have another one. I know that. But do I? No one knows that. What if I can't.

You can have another one. Maybe, but I'm in pain now.

Right now is what matters. Its a platitude, it's insensitive and it doesn't work.

Don't say.

At least you have your other three. Yes but I wanted *her* to be my 4th. She was wanted. I meant be thankful for your other three. Are you implying I ought to be satisfied with what I have? That I am not already thankful for them and love them?

I meant they must be keeping you busy. I don't want to be busy. I'm always busy. I want to switch off for a while.

Don't say.

Cheer up why don't you smile. Why don't you fuck off. I'm not in the mood for smiling. Of course I feel depressed. Do you know what's just happened? Don't be insensitive. Don't be ignorant . It's not my job right now to ease your awkwardness.

Don't say.

How are you? Unless you really want the answer. Because I will tell you. Even though I have no proper words to describe how awful I feel, if you ask I won't say fine. Be prepared for a raw answer.

My raw self can't handle platitudes. My raw self feels everything. My raw self reacts massively.

Don't say anything.

If you don't know what to say. Just let me know you're here for me and you are sorry for my loss. A hug usually helps too.

Meltdowns - sooooo many
Losing the Plot - just the will to get out of bed
Breastfeeding - too tired and forgot that's 2 nights in a row

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