I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Who are you again?

I was lying in bed looking at hubby, thinking I haven't looked at him for this long without interruption for a long long time. Feels like forever. Like actually looking directly at him. Not loading the dishwasher and talking. Not passing each other in the hallway on the way to do something. Just direct looking and seeing. 

If felt odd, I don't remember his glasses being so dark and thick. I don't remember his eyes looking so young and tired at the same time. 

It prompted me to work out how many hours during the week do I actually see him. Maths isn't my strong point so it wasn't easy. I think I also made it needlessly complicated as is my habit. 


There are potentially 120hrs in those 5 days when I could see hubby. 
8am-7pm - working 11hrs a day out of house - 55hrs a week
11-7am - sleeping 8hrs a day - 40hrs
Total - 95hrs not seeing each other

That leaves 25hrs a week which is 5hrs a day

5 of those hours don't count because they are the one hour in the morning when neither of us are in the same room at the same time until we say goodbye. Mwah. See you tonight. 

So that's now 20hrs, 10hrs of which don't count because we are getting the kids to bed tag team style until one or both of us falls asleep with their respective kids that they last had to lie with. 

So that's 10hrs a week  2hrs a day. 

But they practically don't count because we are in the same room but we are watching TV or other screens!

So never. We never see each other during the week!! 

The weekends are different. Some weekends we have stuff to do and sometimes it's separate but I've taken the average here. 

48hrs at weekend on average 24 of them are sleeping.  Which leaves potentially 24hrs available which is 12 a day. 4 of them are getting kids to bed so that's 8hrs. On average one or both of us are out the house say 2hrs a day so that's another 4hrs. Which leaves 4hrs at weekend. 

So basically at the moment out of a possible 164hrs for the week, I see my husband about diddly squat!!

It's a good thing we're in this for the long haul!!

Meltdowns - minimal
Losing the Plot - usually about 5.47pm
Breastfeeding - tons and tons

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