I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

How our morning went so VERY well

The past few weeks have been fraught with arguments and upsets so today, I decided to try and take things down a notch.  Make a REAL effort to engage and connect and not lose it.  

The girls decided to have a bath this morning, so I took them cereal in the bath, which gave me alone time downstairs to gather my thoughts, clean some of the space and make a snot smoothie since breakfast was sorely lacking.  We then ate pea pods on trampoline covered in a blanket -damn think we broke Pesach in the final hours typical!

Around 11am, Maia decided she wanted to take her balloon (which we had dressed before she would get dressed) for a walk. The walk was just under 1km(.57mile) took over 2hours, was basically round our block.  We didn't buy a thing but did come home with a bag full of goodies and it was totally (well almost) child led with absolutely no stress

First stop alteration shop, to see if my tutu was ready, I basically ripped the netting about 5minutes after putting it on and I am THE worst at sewing, also the lady said it would only be about £4, bargain.   Ellie walks in confidently goes up to the lady and asks her if they have any children's clothes, she's worked out that if she says excuse me first, she gets their attention! Thank G-d they didn't, clothes shopping is something I am gearing up for, I need to be more ready mentally!!

Next stop a toilet stop, The Bank, a pub that is behind our house that I continually forget exists and the very same one that chucked us out just after Maia was born because we'd finished our meal and were there too long after without ordering anything else????? Ellie again confidently asks where the upstairs toilets are, since she doesn't believe me when I tell her there aren't any toilets upstairs.  In reality I don't take the time to explain that the upstairs toilets she is thinking of are really a door from the upstairs seating area that leads directly down to the basement toilets.   If I wasn't taking things easy, I could have shown her all this and let her work it out for herself, so I was definitely pleased when the barman said there wasn't an upstairs toilet.  I'll show her another time.  We left with a handful of straws.  Who doesn't  love straws, black ones at that!!

The next shop to catch their eye was the Opticians, they have a children's glasses station, with teddy bears wearing glasses and multi coloured pencil shaped seats.  Anything that has those enticing array of displays MUST be ok with kids 'exploring' their surroundings...surely? Well, we left with an appointment for the girls on Saturday, so I guess they were! *phew*

Next door to the opticians is a pet shop, unfortunately for the girls they don't have any animals, just squeaky toys and bird food in giant sacks which feels great to run through your fingers. Ellie gave the staff a brush off for not dropping the stuff on the floor with a response of "I AM being careful, sometimes people drop stuff on the floor sometimes they don't" Its just as well they don't have pets, cos I am itching for guinea pigs again!

Last on this side of the road is a beautiful florist that usually has amazing floral displays in the window, corresponding to the season or festival, they also had my fav flowers outside, inside the lady was friendly and Ellie introduced herself and they talked about the straws and she gave her a bag to hold them in, but when she started ah-ah-ahing and no-no-noing to the girls who were looking at the flower bouquets, smelling the flowers and lifting the baskets gently, I knew it was time to leave.

We then crossed the road and walked back the other way to the toilet shop, not forgetting to walk along a pole fence like a tightrope walker.  I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before but Ellie absolutely ADORES the toilet shop, she loves lifting the toilet seats, examining the baths and in this store, they have blue ducks which she places in various toilets and sinks and plays hide and seek with them.  In the past, she could spend at least 30mins in the shop running about exploring showers and trying the taps.  When she was younger it seemed easier and less invasive, she was small and toddly and it endeared the staff.  I began to realise though as she got bigger and wilder that it wasn't the staffs idea of a good time, so we stopped going so much.  

This time, I armed them with the information that we were not staying long and as long as there was no screaming and shouting and noisy enjoyment, she could still do what she used to.  She tried to do it in a noisy way, but she must have known I was serious when I gently got down to her level and said, its not ok to run about shouting.  I took a slow wander around the whole shop but the enjoyment of toilets and taps were not such a pull for me today.  I was hungry, I was ready to get home.  This was the hardest shop to get out of but without things getting out of hand, me feeling out of control, the girls running riot and refusing to leave, we left with 4 ducks.  Well, when Ellie asked if she could have a duck from the BATHfull of them and the lady said 'yes, take two',  I am sure she didn't mean two each!!  

I am more than keen to get home now but its clear the girls are not ready and I know I won't be able to persuade them to cross the road and go in the back door to get home (we really are that close!) so we take a wall walk round the back of the buildings and take a small lane in the direction of home.  To most people this lane is a straight empty 180metres long lane, but with the multitude of wheely bins and open gates to unkempt back gardens(wow we are not the only ones!), it becomes a hide and seek cornucopia.  

We are so almost home, I can smell the matza but Maia suddenly refuses to walk any further.  I try the come on lets go and start walking approach, but she bursts out crying and won't budge.  I am guessing she is tired now, we are trying to wean to three times a day and she is desperate for a schluk.    I always thought I wasn't going to be one of those mothers who walks along the street with a crying child in tow....HA more fool me for being so arrogant!! We eventually opt for 10seconds but still she won't move, so piggy back it has to be.  

We finally make it home, with our goodies and opt for a trampoline lunch.  Spend the rest of the day, tidying the kitchen, sorting the laundry and playing with the girls. Ended with an Anime film and omelette.

What was so different about today that made things flow?

ME, me me (the girls made an effort too!!)

If only I knew how to keep the calm turned on like that all the time!

Meltdowns - none woohooo!!
Losing the Plot - none wooohoo!!
Breastfeeding - some woohoo!!

1 comment:

  1. "What was so different about today that made things flow?

    ME, me me (the girls made an effort too!!)

    If only I knew how to keep the calm turned on like that all the time!

    Meltdowns - none woohooo!!
    Losing the Plot - none wooohoo!!
    Breastfeeding - some woohoo!!"

    I LOVE days like this!
    Loooooving the booooob woman! :)