shopping

I have to tell you I have become pretty adept in the last 4 yrs of NOT going grocery shopping........in the beginning, yeah it was a doddle, I had Ellie (4) on my front and hubby with me and off we would go....get this get that, no problems....then Ellie became a bit older and more mobile and more interested and we found ourselves going at a slightly slower speed but still manageable...we would discuss certain items, we could still have an enjoyable time in the shops and get food bought, then as Ellie got older and Maia being born, Ellie becoming more aware and explorative and not wanting to be a 'stay in your trolley seat and don't get out of it' kind of mum...not that I could ever had enforced that one even if I tried (she was climbing out of it before she could talk) and then the process continuing with Maia, it all became too much for one person (hubby back to work and not wanting to spent weekends shopping, actually using time to catch up on lost sleep!)...then somewhere between then and now the thought of me going grocery shopping on top of it all was just too much to bare and i am not afraid to say that it has become one of those things that i let slide.

It all became a bit less manageable over time with their needs and my needs...which includes...refusal of getting dressed stage and spending inordinate amounts of time waiting for children to get dressed or encouraging them to get dressed or just taking them naked and sorting it out later, refusal of car seats, occasionally spending inordinate amounts of time waiting for children to get into the car seat,  their need to look at everything and put it in the trolley and my need to keep to a budget and feeling crap that i have to say 'no' to lots of things...their need to dominate my thoughts with their needs and wants and my need to be able to have 'thinkspace' to decide what food to buy based on health and price content...their need to just be who they are and my need to not quash that in a negative way and end up being shouty freak out mummy.....and our incredibly shitty budgetary constraints and my incredibly shitty budgetary skills that leave me too scared to buy anything...that kind of thing....

I admire the outlook of the' 'we need food we need to shop, lets go'  idea and I fully believe in the idea that if we need food we should go get it.  I'd love to (and I like to imagine that if push came to shove, I would get on with it, much like most of my parenting!), but I often feel I am unable to keep up with their differing stage needs to explore and my need to do a proper full shop.....at the moment we get by with occasional massive on line shops.  I also have my husband go on his way home from work for bits and bobs...I often wonder how mums who don't have that support manage. I do occasionally do a bits and bob shop and I should really keep up with the 'small' inconsequential shops because they are learning experiences for the girls, but I need to be of strong mind, body and spirit to be able to cope with it.  I am just becoming adept at making weird concoctions and batch freezing.

Meltdowns - low

Losing the Plot - high 

Breastfeeding - on increase, must be colds on the horizon