......

......
I want to be that mother who can stand up and say I am a strong confident mother and I know what is best for my children. We breastfeed and co sleep, We listen, We include, We eat chocolate and snot smoothies, we trampoline and grow frogs, we sling, we carry and we try and understand and work with our children without resorting to punishments, threats or coercion.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts

Wednesday, 27 March 2019

Feelings. Fuck em. Burn them all. Burn all the feelings.

How could I be so insensitive and selfish and greedy and self-absorbed  and stupid and crazy and delusional and ungrateful?

I sometimes feel people are thinking these thing's or variations of these when they see me with three kids already but wanting another baby. All part of sentences some people say and things I have heard. Insensitive to those who can't, should be grateful for what I have, selfish for wanting to add to population,  crazy for wanting another. I feel guilty for wanting and terrible for obsessing, I feel desperate and scared, I feel useless and over needed, I feel aimless and stuck. I'm overwhelmed with all of it and it's constantly changing. I feel all over wrong for everything.

Now what?

Friday, 8 September 2017

Need. Want.

I didn't mean for Neshama to die because of my need to have another baby.

She wasn't able to live, I don't know why, but we created her and somewhere along the way something happened to her that she couldn't do anything about, neither could we.

She didn't choose this for herself, who would? But I feel we sort of did, because I wanted another baby.

I say I, because I spent 5 years persuading Hubby that it would be an amazing awesome idea to have another one and he finally conceded that he did also want another baby but was terrified of not being able to manage emotionally, financially, physically and on even less sleep.  

Hubby absolutely wanted her when I told him and he obviously subconsciously wanted her when we conceived her,  because if you're not using contraception...well....you could get pregnant! I hope he doesn't blame me for persuading him because now look what he's having to deal with. I hope he's not blaming himself either. Yes I know, blame isn't healthy. I can't help it.

My need and want for another baby is raw right now. I need that life growing back inside me. I need to feel that unbelievable overwhelming love that only comes from knowing you are sustaining your child's life inside you.  Except I didn't sustain Neshama's life. I want her back inside me and for none of this to have happened. I want her back inside me but I would also want to have another baby inside me right now because I know that it's not possible to have Neshama back.  It doesn't mean I've stopped loving and wanting her but it does make me feel guilty for thinking about another different baby.  I feel not in control of that need to have a baby inside me.  Or my thoughts about how I feel.  Is this a good time to start blaming hormones?

When my kids say to me 'I need this' I more often than not automatically respond with 'You don't need it, you want it'   I know they don't understand the difference yet but one day they might. One day they will be able to deal with not being able to get that vital all encompassing whatever and soon they will differentiate between how much they really need something compared to how much they want it. Then, I hope they work damn hard to get what they need, then once they have what they need, they work even harder to get what they want.

Right now I want and need another baby in my belly. Intellectually, I know it's too soon, don't care.

Whatever way I look at it at the moment, I think i will always feel awful for not being able to help her survive. And a bit selfish and slightly (more) crazy for wanting another baby again already.

Meltdowns - on the increase but all in hand and understandable
Losing the Plot - no energy really but if it happens it happens.
Breastfeeding - I told Millie I couldn't on Monday bedtime because I thought it might cause a contraction. I had never thought about it being an issue before or with my pregnancies with the other two breastfeeding and I had also never felt it give me a contraction during this pregnancy.  I wonder if subconsciously I knew something wasn't right. An hour later I birthed her. Now, I don't think it would have made any difference.  I remember feeling sad that Millie had been upset and taken a while to get to sleep and I could have fed her and it would have made a difference to her.

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

It's not the fucking same.

When oh when will people stop drinking their own piss in front of me. It's just disgusting to have to watch someone nourish and sustain themselves from their peepee makers. My children do not want to see you sucking your own cock just because you are hungry...get a room. Cover up your vagina, I am offended by you licking piss from it. 

Let me breastfeed my child in peace and stop accusing it as being the same as urinating. IT IS NOT. 

#Nomorepage3
#clarksonsamoron
#FreetoFeed
#normalizebreastfeeding
#urinatingisnotbreastfeeding


Thursday, 17 October 2013

What's in a name?

Millie has been awake for 15minutes and has said mummy 25 times so far. Hubby hasn't left for work yet so she's said daddy 64 times. We waited with baited breath for her first mummy and daddy words and now I hold my breath and count to 10 to stop my brain from exploding with them. 



Today her mummy's meant:-

I'm wearing a towel
I'm stuck on toilet
I dropped lavender oil over bannister
I want milk
I've done a poo
Put this top on me
I've emptied this sewing box
I want milk 
I want to come down with you
I want some of that chocolate
I've hurt my foot
I want this open
I want milk 
Look I'm climbing the bookcase
Look I'm emptying the bookcase
I've fallen off the bookcase
I want this, it appears attached 
I'm upstairs you're not
You're in the shower not beside me 
I want milk
I like this milk 
Open this plastic box and fill it 
Look I'm standing in the dishwasher
Oh why did you close it
Lift me up
I want milk
Stop making dinner
I'm so happy playing with my sisters 
I'm overwhelmed they're chasing me
I didn't mean to bite Maia 
I'm tired
I'm hungry
I want that
Ellie made my nose bleed



By the time hubby got home, ten hours later, there were about 226 of them. That's roughly one every three minutes. 

Normally, I just hear an endless stream of mummeeeeee mummeeeeee mummeeeeee and by the end of the day I am near plot losing. From today's experiment, I see that I am not taking the time to actually HEAR what my little 18m old is telling me. I am not paying enough attention to be able to decipher her communications. She is SO desperate to talk, it must be SO frustrating for her not to have all the words yet and even worse to feel I am not listening to her. 

Who knew my baby had SO much to say?!!

Why not try pay attention to your mummeeeee's tomorrow and let me know what your baby is telling you!


Meltdowns - massive one on a bike ride
Losing the plot -  not massively but too much shouting 
Breastfeeding - lots

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Some people just say it so brilliantly...Episode 2


You thought I was nice didn’t you?  Actually, I am a cranky old cow – I swear too!  You see, it seems to me that the world of babies is going to hell in a hand-basket.  And that brings out my inner bitch – big time!

I know there have always been the ‘Tamers’ and the ‘Cuddlers’, but it’s getting worse!

I get a couple of hundred emails a day about babies from all sorts of people Most of my emails are from the ‘Cuddlers’ (I love you!). Others (far too many – haven’t they read my books before they email me?) are from ‘Tamers’.

The ‘Tamers’ give me the shits!  Not only are they disrespectful to the ‘Cuddlers’ (hang in there Cuddlers, you are doing a wonderful job!), but they are disrespectful to their own babies. They talk about their babies as though they are objects – badly behaved object s at that. They use words like ‘stubborn’ and ‘manipulating’ to describe these little people.

I am a proud ‘Cuddler’.  I don’t have time to keep answering stupid questions from dipshits with ridiculous expectations of teeny, tiny babies, so I have made a FAQ list especially for the ‘Tamers’.

So, Tamers, if you want a quick fix, just check your question here.

1/ WHY DOES MY BABY CRY WHEN I LEAVE HIM IN HIS COT?

How the hell is he supposed to know he’s in a ‘fancy pants’ safety standards approved cot with a monitor on the wall and neurotic parents watching his every peep through the screen on their super- duper phone ( between checking everybody else’s train-wreck lives on facebook!).

For Pete’s sake (I hope ‘Pete’ was a Cuddler), you have a stone age baby in a space age world! He is programmed to expect a sabre tooth tiger or a crocodile or an eagle to swoop and gobble him up if he’s all alone. So don’t leave him alone in the frigging cot if he gets upset. If he’s still crying, for goodness sake pick the poor little bugger up before he is overcome with stress hormones that will fry his tiny brain and screw him up for life!

2/ WHY DOES MY BABY CRY WHEN I DON’T PICK HIM UP?

He’s trying to communicate with you. If you don’t ‘listen’ when he tries to ask you nicely, he will yell louder to make sure you hear. Get it? He needs YOU to PICK HIM UP!! (See number 1)

3/ WHY DOES MY BABY CRY IF I WON’T FEED HIM FOR 4 HOURS?

Let’s see, how long do you go without reaching for the chocolate or caffeine? Or grabbing a sip of water from your water bottle? Or stuffing your face with food?  Bet you don’t often go more than an hour or two without sucking on something! Oh, and are you trying to double your weight?

You baby’s gut is tiny – the size of his fist (Go on, check his fist. It’s little, isn’t it?).  And how big are your boobs? Yep, some of us have shot-glasses and some of us have ‘jugs’. Although it’s not actually about the size of your boobs, but what’s inside them, if you try and refill a shot glass with a litre bottle of water (or gin for that matter!), you are going to need a lot of refills, aren’t you? Well actually, your baby will need around 800mls a day and, just to be clear, that will be a few shot glass refills.  Whatever size your boob storage capacity is, your baby’s tiny little tummy will be empty before 4 hours and he will need a refill!  Or your shot glass titties will need to be emptied to tell them to make more tucker, otherwise you could ‘lose your milk’.

Your kid is fucking hungry –or thirsty!  If you are giving him the good stuff from your boobs, he will digest it really quickly (it’s fuel for his brain AND his body).  HE needs to double HIS weight!

Whether you are giving him boob or not, your kid can’t reach the fridge yet so he needs YOU to feed him.  WATCH YOUR BABY, NOT THE DAMN CLOCK!  And remember if he has to cry for a feed, you need to step up your game – CRYING is a LATE hunger signal!

4/ WHY DOESN’T MY BABY SLEEP 12 HOURS

Why did you have a baby if you want to sleep 12 hours? I’m surprised you found the energy to MAKE a baby if you are so fucking lazy that you need 12 hours sleep.

5/ WHY DOES MY BABY WAKE UP AT 4 AM ( I PUT HIM TO BED AT 6PM)?

If you put him to bed at 6pm, that’s 10 hours sleep. The kid is either hungry after sleeping without food for 10 hours (Can you go that long without putting something in your gob?) so snuggle him up with a boob and go back to sleep – or he’s ready to get up and explore the world! Two choices here – get up at the ass crack of dawn or if, like me, you don’t ‘do’ mornings (4 am is the middle of the night, not bloody morning in this house), keep the kid up in the evening, be a FAMILY and enjoy his company. Then all go to bed together at a sensible time between 9 and 10 pm – and SLEEP til the sun really comes up.

6/ WHY IS MY BABY SO STUBBORN – HE CRIES HYSTERICALLY AND REFUSES TO SELF- SETTLE ?

Because he’s not a fucking inconvenience, he’s a human being. He obviously CAN”T self- settle.  What’s so bloody magical about that anyway – it’s not a developmental milestone like crawling or walking or jumping?

Do you ever fall asleep cuddled up to your partner? Then does he/she wake you up and say, get over your own side of the bed, we are creating bad habits? Nah, didn’t think so. You probably even have ‘nookie’ some nights before you fall asleep or read a bit or have a nice warm cuppa. How about giving your baby a bit of empathy – he’s not ‘stubborn’, he’s an evolutionary survivor and he’s expressing his needs – for YOU! Give him a cuddle or a boob (yes, really, there’s good stuff in those bazookas that’ll knock the little sucker right out).

And, instead of losing your shit over your baby losing his, be grateful he hasn’t given up on you. He still trusts you will keep him safe (must say I’m buggered if I know why, though) otherwise he would just shut the fuck up and not try to reach out to you. Think about it – do you want him to call you for a ride when he’s sixteen and doesn’t want to get in the car with a drunk driver? Or do you want to teach him right now that he’s an annoying little prick and he better not bother messing up your life?

Pinky's update explaining her absolutely fabulous rant

Friday, 17 May 2013

Hold



Hold your babies close tonight
Hold your baby close
Hold your heart all wrapped up tight
Hold the love that never fades
Keep your baby in your love
Hold your babies close tonight




Saturday, 10 November 2012

But I wasn't doing nothing.

I've got Lennie syndrome.
Don't google it
I made it up
Besides googling symptoms is scary.


It's Lennie from Of Mice and Men
He loves too much

I have Too Much Smooshing syndrome.
I don't think there is a cure for it.
Who'd want one anyway!!


" His love for soft things conspires against him, mostly because he doesn't know his own strength, and eventually becomes his undoing."





I have this with Millie. I want to hold her and love her and smoosh her and kiss her and and and....and invariable after the giggling she cries out "aaaah enough mummy". Well it's more like "eeeeaaaaaaaaagggnnnnnrrgggh"


Anyway. Every time I do it, I feel like that cartoon character:-



She is just SO oooooooh. Smooshable. Oh I could eat her!

Besotted much??!!

I'm sure you're the same!










Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Today my babies

Today my baby knocked a plant over tipping out the water that had gathered at the bottom and proceeded to eat the soil. The crawling has begun.

Today my baby refused to wear or take her coat to nursery. Again.

Today my baby wouldn't eat her breakfast because she was so busy watching My Little Pony. Which also made her late for school.

Today my baby had a meltdown in B&Q and refused to get into the car because I wouldn't buy everything she wanted.

Today my baby went to the art galleries and drew pictures of the faces. Happy ones. Kind ones. Sad ones. Angry ones.

Today my baby cried every time I left the room.

Today my baby sat on my knee to read a book and told me to put my phone down.

Today my baby took her medicine without a fuss. The course was finished, she wasn't even meant to!

Today my baby sat on the toilet and the potty for her pee-pee.

Today my baby took fish fingers out the freezer put them on a tray and started making lunch, carefully counting out six each.

Today my baby brought her bag in from the car without being asked.

Today my baby carried her sister to me when she was crying and I was peeing.

Today my baby made her own sandwich after school. It only had ketchup in it. But still. And she wiped up after herself.

Today my babies let me sleep while I slept with my other baby.


Today my babies did their thing.

Today my babies seem not like babies at all....

Today my babies wouldn't go to sleep until they were cuddled up next to me


Meltdowns - none
Losing the plot - none
Breastfeeding - some

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Did someone say Tribal?




7wk baby needs comfort milk
You know that way you are in a room and there is a crying baby. You don't know the baby. You don't know who the mother is. The baby is getting more and more upset. You are becoming more and more upset because its hard to hear a baby crying . The baby is picked up and held but is still upset and starting to scream. You realise the mother is busy and the baby just needs boob. You say very loudly half jokingly "this baby needs milk do you want me to feed her?" And the mother, who is currently doing a sling demonstration and unable to take her baby pipes up, sure! so I do! THAT!



We need food. We need food so badly I am willing to brave shopping again. It has to be me. I have to do a big shop. I have invited friends over for dinner and we have nothing in. 

Millie is upset before we even get out the car, so I sit in car and feed her while the girls sort out the trolley. Once placated and asleep and strapped on my back, Maia pushing her own wee trolley and with Ellie in the baby seat of a big trolley I confidently march into the supermarket. I am scunnered in the first aisle by Maia changing her mind about taking the trolley round and Ellie refusing to move over to let Maia in real trolley. Try to hook toy trolley in real trolley and grapple Maia into the real trolley seat. It's doesn't work. A member of staff offers to take toy trolley to front desk (as I write this at 11pm, I realise we have left it there!) I love Waitrose. 

I have a list. I find it's really important now to have a list. Firstly I have a terrible memory so the list helps. Secondly it keeps us focused and gives the girls something to read and follow. We manage another aisle before Ellie needs the toilet so we traipse to the other end of the store. I am determined mama today so we are soon back on track. The list helps. 

Half an hour later and half way round whilst searching for ground almonds(great source of calcium) and enlisting the help of a different member of staff, I realise I have left my purse and phone at the front door on a trolley when I was slinging and trolleying everyone. The staff lady goes to hopefully retrieve them and comes back with them AND the ground almonds. I love Waitrose!!

I leave the girls choosing in the magazine aisle whilst I go to the toilet, I know they need to browse the cheap plastic tat choice on the front of the magazine and I don't think my patience can last waiting while they decide, I also need to pee. I innocently suggest they see if the inside also appeals. They know I will sit with them and go through it at some point so it should be at least of some interest inside. 

We make it to the checkout in one piece and luckily picked the one with two staff. So one packs whilst Maia helps me put stuff on conveyor belt and Ellie commandeers both staff to help her open her nuts. She is a very persuasive girl when she needs to be. The lovely lady puts it in the bags and the trolley AND puts it in the car. 

Did I mention I love waitrose!! I'm fairly sure I wouldn't manage a shop otherwise. 

Even though its now 11.30am and the sling meet finishes at 12pm ( I thought it was 12.30pm, I would not have gone if I had known that), I rush home put the frozen stuff away and rush out to where that most wonderful and incredible moment happened. Mostly because I thought wow! A kindred spirit perhaps? A like minded potential friend? She lives in Helensburgh. About an hour away. Typical. Hmmmmmm (marge Simpson style groan)

The sling meet is in an amazing wee second hand boutique called merry go round. Everytime we go, I leave with something brilliant and inexpensive, a gorgeous dress for Millie, nappi nippas(been living with two for a few months, total pain), a book for girls, a distant almost forgotten memory of tribal living thousands of years ago. 


Millie sheltering from rain whilst I dig holes

Once home, I decide to do some gardening, as my mum gave me some plants to plant.  It's easy she says.  Just dig a hole and put them in.  I lay a mat for Millie and my knees and amazingly she falls asleep within minutes!!  The soil has tons of weeds so need to remove them first.  There is a hacked down tree I want completely removed but it attacked my arm so I give up, then the spade snaps in two. Then it starts to rain  Easy my arse!!  Dig crappy wee holes with trowel, plop plants in then sit on rug for well earned rest before Millie wakes.  Two minutes later, Millie wakes!! 

I'm ridiculously excited to be having company tonight. It's been such a long time. Too long. I think i may have still been pregnant....with Ellie! As our guest said "feel like we are coming out of a slumber(?)". I knew what he meant. 

We chose to parent this way, to not leave our kids with sitters (strangers effectively) or grandparents until they were of an age we felt they were emotionally and physically ready. We chose not to leave them because we wanted to be with them and we wanted them to know we were there for them, always, even at night. Having three kids so close in age has meant very few 'nights out'. We would not consider raising our children any other way but there is no denying it is full on!!

They brought red wine!! It's been such a long time. Too long!! I don't drink red wine. I thought I didn't like it. I do now!! Maybe having three kids changes your taste buds or something! I have the equivelant of one, maybe one and half glasses over the course of the evening. I feel giddy and gleeful. Maybe I ought to get out more!
It really is a great evening the girls all play together with unbelievably minimal fracas. We put the tent up yesterday so they have a ball in there. And ice cream. 

As is the way the kids try to persuade the parents to do a sleep over. I'm up for it. The dad is hesitant. I wonder why. Turns out he wants to do the father daughter first night in a tent in the back garden thing. How adorable and honest of him. I offer the upstairs instead. 

A sleepover for the girls. How cool!! It's been such a long time. Too long. Tonight I read three stories whilst feeding Millie to sleep. One for each girl. They all fall asleep together on a double mattress. 

Tomorrow is graze box day!!


Meltdowns - almost non existent
Losing the Plot - nope!
Breastfeeding - oh yes, the tribal way!!!!!!

Friday, 29 June 2012

The holidays are here the holidays are here

 It is the last day of school and Ellie is refusing to go and I have neither the heart nor the energy to force her. You may all remember the difficulties we had at the start of the school year, so if we did  rewards and punishments, I guess this is her reward for continuing to go throughout the year!!!



 SO......first day of the school holidays. If all else fails, the sink is shiny 


It's been quite a while since I have posted and I kind of regret that. Having another addition to our crazy days has provided me with plenty to talk about but it's also a massive adjustment and blog posting wasn't something I felt could manage. So now I want to try and do one as often as possible.  




Millie is now 3months old and as babies tend to be, an absolute delight!!  I'm not going to lie to you. It's been hard going. First two weeks she wouldn't feed. We had to use an SNS system. We didn't know what was wrong. We were feeding every 3hrs. I was pumping to keep supply up every 2hrs. Feeding with the drip took 2hrs. We were in a haze a daze and absolute hell. The midwife was blaming Elimination Communication.  I was feeling like a first time mother and was starting to understand why women turn to formula. If it hadn't been for the support of the amazing women in my CC group, I would have been an absolute wreck instead of just a slight wreck!!



We eventually figured out she had tongue tie and thanks to the amazing lactation team at Yorkhill hospital , Millie's snip took place a few days later. If it hadn't been for her developing her first cold, it would have been the same day!!   Which brought our next newborn problem. Snot. So. Much. Snot. For 10weeks poor Millie had a blocked nose and tremendous amounts of mucous meaning she had difficulty breathing whilst feeding and lying down.   So now she not only had to relearn feeding, she had to do it whilst not being able to breathe.  It also meant she would not lie down unless fully asleep. So whilst we definitely advocate holding our baby as much as possible. It was virtually impossible to put her down. Now with two other toddlers needing me 25/7 this was rather hard to say the least!!  So whilst Millie definitely has her continuum needs to be held met, I was losing my mind!! Then last week she had her second osteopathic treatment and I started drinking echinacea tea.   Since then we have had moments of at least 20mins where she will sit upright and be quite content!!! Its a whole new world!!  

So as you can imagine the last three months have been far from ideal and it's taken its toll on the girls. Tension is high. Stress is palpable.  Fights are common place.   Meltdowns are constant. Anger. Upset. Shouting. Name calling have all been commonplace. My patience has been non existent which hasn't helped. Ellie and I have been fighting constantly too. It's a holy mess.  The girls have, through necessity, become quite self sufficient and whilst that in itself is not a bad thing, it feels like they have also stopped listening to me as a reliable leader.   They do what they want. When they want. It's all gone slightly Lord of the Flies around here!! 

I tried instigating a sister circle (form of micro-circle). It worked really well for a week or so but has been harder and harder to implement. I'd like for this to start working again.  I am trying to remain calm and not turn into shouty mummy but I do feel my buttons are really being pushed. They are much less receptive to my suggestions and requests and it seems like the only way they listen or respond now is if I am really loud insistent and firm and the way I totally don't want to be.

Omg being a parent to 3 strong willed children is really really hard.

So it's the summer holidays and we are together for six weeks. Let's see if we can turn things around!

Meltdowns: a plenty
Losing the plot: too many times to count
Breastfeeding: on demand


Update:  it's midday. Millie won't stop crying or go in the sling.  The natives are getting restless. My stress levels are rising so I've retired to the bedroom to try and settle Millie whilst the girls have decided to have a bath

And breathe

Sunday, 12 February 2012

OP Tricks by Alison Ewing

OP TRICKS


OPEN KNEE-CHEST. From hands and knees position mother lowers head and chest to the floor. Knees should be apart and further back than hips. A bean bag can help the mother to retain this position for 30-45 minutes.


GORILLA STOMP. Have mom stomp up and down stairs to center an oblique baby. This is the same stomp we use to bring down a high baby or stimulate ctx. One of our dads named it the "Gorilla Stomp"- make sure there is a spotter below her on the stairs, flat footed, have her set her feet wide apart and stick her tail out a little. Then she stomps down the stairs one at a time, placing her feet wide and swinging her hips from side to side as though she were trying to hit the sidewall of the staircase. Really heavy footfalls. Do a drop squat at the bottom of the stairs. Stomp up the stairs, again placing her feet wide apart, taking the steps two at a time if she can. Some short moms can't manage that.Do a drop squat at the top. I've seen one or two trips up and down the stairs center a baby perfectly.


DUCK WALKING.OR STOMP STOMP SQUAT. Mum walks flat footed, picking her knees up high with each step. Shakes her tail, like a duck. Squats at end of ctx. Good for getting the humour quotient up.


OLD TIME MIDWIVES PUSH TECHNIQUE. Have a multip try pushing with a contraction or two even if they're only 6 or 7 cm. I had a G5 P3 recently stuck WAY up there in an OP position, and couldn't get the head to descend far enough to spin on the soft tissue even after a long painful time of standing and squatting. One of our older docs suggested I have her push a time or two even though she was 6 cm....you can guess what happened on the next ctx. It sure worked! Ann Shields in Germany


ANN SHIELD'S EPIDURAL TECHNIQUE.( can be used without the epidural) This works well with too heavily epiduralized patients. Sit them absolutely straight up with their legs Indian- style, and tie a sheet or towel onto the birthing bar. Have them rock back and forth from on hip to the other, holding onto the sheet for stabilization (since the bar is usually too far forward to grab onto in this position). I suspect the alternating weight on one acetabulum at a time moves the spines out of direct opposition and gives the head a little more room. Also seems to work well for asynclitism but not as well in either malposition as all fours. Anne shields in Germany.


HANDS AND KNEES. Mum leans forward over a birth ball a chair or the back of the birth bed, if it can be adjusted that way. Put something soft under the mother's knees and help her to get as comfortable as possible so that she can stay this way while swaying and rocking her hips or tilting her pelvis through as many ctx as possible.


SHAKIN' THE APPLES. 1) Mom is in hands and knees and she rocks back and forth keeping her back parallel with the floor at all times. 2) You (or her partner or anyone really) sit behind her with your arms extended in front of you with fists made. 3) When mom rocks back she bumps into your fists (which you are holding steady). Your fists hit her at the bottom of her pelvis. She can bump into you as hard as she wants, yet you never go and bump into her. This little 'jolt' also helps to dislodge the OP baby. ilana (who learned this from the wonderful ladies in Alaska)


SLOW DANCING. Mother slow dances with a partner, usually with hands over the partner's shoulders. This enables her to be supported while she sways and circles her hips. Partner can also move mothers hips for her while she hangs from his/her neck.


OLLIE'S TECHNIQUE. Put mum flat on floor with a rolled blanket/pillow in the small of her back to arch her belly out and hyperflex her back. Baby doesn't like and will turn sometimes. Ollie Anne Hamilton, LDEM, CPM


ANOTHER FOR EPIDURAL OPS. On a flat bed, Mom on side (preferably left, but doesn't matter) with lower leg straight and upper leg pulled way up and on a pillow or two (give ample room to tummy). Lower arm behind and upper arm up and over the pillow her head is on. Now lower the head of the bed into shock position (head lower than feet). This give baby lots of room to move, turn and the head-lower-than-feet helps baby disengage from pelvis to make turning easier. Connie Banack


PENNY SIMKIN'S TECHNIQUE. There's a difference between the mechanics of the side lying position and the semi-prone position. If you're recommending which side the mom should lie on to turn her baby from posterior, it matters which of those two positions the mom is using. If the mom is side lying (really on her side, with her legs one on top of the other, and her body perpendicular to the bed) suggest she lie on the side that puts the baby's back "toward the bed". Try this with your doll and model pelvis to see what I mean. Gravity tends to pull the back of the baby's head down toward the bed, so he'll (hopefully) rotate from OP to OT. If the mom is semi-prone (rolled forward so her top leg is in front of her bottom leg, and her belly's more toward the bed) suggest she lie so that the baby's back is "toward the ceiling". Gravity will tend to pull the back of the baby' toward OT, and from there toward OA.


SIMILAR IDEA FROM OB NURSE. When I have a mom who's not bringing the baby down well or who is "stuck" at a certain level of dilation, I routinely turn her to her right side. When I say right side, I mean FAR right--I tell her to try to lay on her stomach! This almost always works to rotate that baby right into an OA position, she progresses and baby descends and delivers. If the baby doesn't tolerate the far right side, I have mom try the far left. It seems the most important part is that she is almost on her stomach. This is especially useful if you have determined that baby is OP


VICKI TAYLOR'S PANCAKE FLIP. Two contractions on left side, two on right side, two on hands and knees, and two in knee-chest. Rarely have I had to do more than two cycles of that to turn a posterior. Turning a posterior with the mom on in an upright position is difficult because you lose the flexibility of the sacrum.


FIGURE EIGHTS/ BELLY DANCING. Mother swinging hips in a figure 8 like a belly dancer.This can also be done to mother on hands and knees with helper moving mother's hips in a figure eight during a contraction. Works well on a birth ball too.


CAT STROKING. Mom should do a couple dozen slow, deep pelvic rocks while on her hands and knees. Really let her tummy hang and exaggerate the movements. Then she gently puts her hand on the baby's back and strokes and clothes" him toward the center of her tummy and even to the other side if the baby turns easily. (Almost always this means mom moves the baby from the right side to the center).


The tummy hanging and the slow deep rocks help the baby move upward so he has more room to turn. And if you move the baby's back then the head will follow. I think mom should do this rather than us, because she knows how much strength to use. I've helped mom stroke sometimes though just to give her the idea of how to do it. Gail Hart Should be done between ctx.


HOT COMPRESSES. Also I have used hot compresses to the lower abdominal muscles to relax them and aid in the repositioning, as the lower uterine segment gets tight.


JUDY JONES' DIAPHRAGMATIC RELEASE. It is easy to recognize a persistent posterior baby. You cannot feel the back on palpation, rather only little lumps and bumps of limbs. To do a diaphragmatic release, it is best to have the mother lie on her back. If she is in advanced pregnancy and this makes her very uncomfortable, you can have her lie in a recliner or semi-sitting position. If you use that position, place a small pillow or adequate support behind her lower back.


One hand will go horizontally across her lower back where the uterine ligaments attach. This is where you would put lower back pressure during labor. You do not need to press, as just the pressure of the mother lying on your hand will be sufficient. (Be sure you take off any rings you may be wearing, for your hand's sake!)


The top hand will go on top of the abdomen, horizontally just above the pubic bone with the thumb upward. Just rest it lightly on the abdomen, no pressure. Then all you have to do is wait. Things may start right away or it may take several minutes before you feel anything. What you will feel is a motion beneath your hands. For the hand in back it will feel much like it does when there is a contraction taking place during labor as you feel the muscles tighten and contract beneath your hand and release. For the top hand it will be either a waving motion or a circular motion under your hand. At first you will think you are just imagining it, but you are not. The best description I can give is that it feels as if the mother has a tennis ball in her abdomen that is being bounced back and forth between your hands. As it hits one hand it will roll across it or around underneath it and then bounce back to the other hand. Sometimes the motion is so great that it will actually make your hand wave on the abdomen. Sometimes the mother will feel things inside, sometimes not. What she feels may not be located where your hand is located. The movement under your top hand may stay all in one place or move around. If it moves, try to gently follow it with your top hand to keep it centrally located under your hand. Do not move the back hand. Sometimes it will move around in a circle, sometimes off to one side, or even clear down to a hip. It all depends on the muscles that are involved and the type of injury that precipitated all the spasm of abdominal muscles. Our muscles really only know how to contract and shorten, not how to relax and lengthen. They depend on another counter muscle to contract and pull the first one out of contraction. Abdominal muscles do not have as many counter muscles, so this technique allows the muscles to relax.


You continue the diaphragmatic release as long as you feel motion under your hand. Usually it will just fade away and you will no longer feel it. Sometimes, if you end up over a bony prominence, it will end with a vibration. The process takes some time, often at least 20-45 minutes. But if you consider the time you save in labor, it is well worth it. You may need to repeat the process over several visits. I usually start at about the 6th month unless I have a mother with a history of car accident or several prior posterior babies. This procedure has also been used this technique to turn breech babies. I use it for transverse but find it less effective for breech. I usually use a tilt board for breech and then do a diaphragmatic release after the baby turns. It works marvelously well for posteriors. I have never done one where the baby did not turn to anterior. However, on some occasions, after a few days the baby will turn back to posterior and you will need to repeat the process more than once. The more severe the history, the more likely you will need to do it several times before the baby will stay anterior.


Posterior babies use to be the worst problem I had in births. The long hard back labors wore us all out and occasionally ended in transfers for maternal exhaustion. I am thrilled not to have these any more. Now my biggest problem is cervical lips! But I am working on a solution for that also, using evening primrose oil!


I do believe every midwife should have this valuable tool, the diaphragmatic release, in her bag of tricks. It is so easy and non-interventive. It is much better than other suggestions I have seen of putting your fingers in the baby's suture lines and trying to turn the head! --Judy Jones


STANDING LUNGE Mother stands with one foot flat on the floor and the other foot at right angles on a foot stool or low chair. She turns her body to face the chair, rests her hands on her leg and leans forward onto that knee during or between ctxs. She may need someone to support her while doing this. The lunge will feel more comfortable in one direction than the other, that is the better way to lean. Do it over several ctxs.


STANDING LUNGE 2 Mother stands with one foot flat on the floor and the other foot at right angles on a foot stool or low chair. She remains facing forward, away from the chair. remaining upright she leans sideways toward the chair lunging so that the knee on the chair bends. Slowly count to 5 then return to upright . The mother should feel the stretching on the inside of both thighs. The lunge will feel more comfortable in one direction than the other, that is the better way to lean. Do it over several ctxs.


KNEELING LUNGE Kneel with one foot flat on the floor lean forward onto the raised knee during ctxs.


SIDE LYING LUNGE. If a woman can't get out of bed because of hypertension or because she has had an epidural, I have had great results with a side-lying lunge. Mom lies on one side with three or four pillows stacked in front of her tummy. Her top knee is bent and placed on top of the pillows at as strong an angle as she can stand. Her lower leg is kept straight and angled back on the bed as far as she can stand. She'll look like a hurdler lying down. Turning from side to side about every half hour, repeating the position, is very effective. The nurses in our area hospitals are starting to use this position because they've seen how well it works. -Marla Lukes, certified doula, Minneapolis, MN


TOILET SITTING. Sitting on the toilet for a few ctx can turn a baby as the mother has been acculturated to let go of the pelvic muscles since toddler hood. Make her comfortable with a chair stacked with pillows or with a pillow over the back to encourage forward leaning position. Alternatively she can sit facing backwards with pillows to keep her comfy.


ANOTHER FOR SUPINE MUMS. To rotate an occipitoposterior baby, put the mother on her side in Trendelenburg's position (supine on a table which is tilted head downward 45 degrees or less). The first time I tried it, the baby rotated and delivered quickly. It probably gets the baby's head "unstuck" from the birth canal and helps it rotate easier. Most mothers can tolerate this position better than knee-chest, and it seems to work better. We put a large wedge under the mattress of the bed. A beanbag could also work. Margie Riley, Midwifery Today Issue 46


WALCHER'S POSITION. Some moms with a posterior baby seem to instinctively arch their backs once they begin pushing. This probably pulls the sacrum away from the occiput and opens up the pelvis a bit more. The following trick for helping a mom arch her back: Take a towel or blanket and roll it up. Have the mom lie flat on her back with the small of her back directly over the rolled-up towel. Her back will be arched pretty steeply. She needs to stay there through at least three contractions, maybe more. Some women find this very uncomfortable, but some women find it feels better or that the pressure on the sacrum feels great.


TUMMY TUCK or BELLY LIFTING. The mother stands with her feet apart and her hands tucked under her belly. When the contraction starts she bends her knees, thrusts forward her hips (pelvic tilt) and lifts up her belly by pressing inward and upward with her hands. The belly lifting can be done by someone else, but I prefer to support the mother from behind while she does it. When a mum has an OP baby it feels great to do this trick. When this was what she needed labour can progress very quickly . What I like about it is that it is something the mothers can do for themselves.


ROBOZO TECHNIQUE. The shawl ( long rectangular) is laid open horizontally (east/west) on the floor and mom lies vertically (north south) in the middle of the shawl; the rest of the shawl spreads out equally on both sides of the mother. The width of the shawl should reach ~ from the middle of mom's back to just below her butt. The midwife and her assistant, or another midwife, stand on opposites sides of the mom and lift up their end of the robozo. Mom's hips at this point, are cradled about a foot off the ground. Her feet are still on the floor. The midwives then get a rhythm of gently pulling the robozo upwards and back and forth between them--it reminds me of a see saw . They count off maybe two or three "rocks," and then one of the midwifes will give a sharper and higher pull which makes mom's stomach kind of "lurch" to the opposite side. This is done 2-3 times and heart tones taken. If baby is say, ROP, the midwife on the mom's right hand side will do the "lurch tug" until baby is approaching an anterior position. Some midwives will stop at this point and have mom labor for about an hour on her side to get the baby to complete its rotation OR they will continue to use the robozo until baby is anterior.




STERILE WATER PAPULES. NON PHARMACOLOGICAL PAIN RELIEF. http://www2.coastalnet.com/~coyotemidwife/SWP_PAPE.htm


___INVASIVE TECHNIQUES_____


OLD TIME DOC'S TECHNIQUE Here is the technique, as described, only slightly abbreviated. He uses the rectal rather than the vaginal approach for 2 reasons: 1) it is (he states) easier to appreciate the posterior fontanel rectally 2) it does not require the membranes to be ruptured nor will it accidentally rupture an intact bag.


1. The patient lie on her back in an ordinary bed. 2. The doctor stands on the patient's right and a nurse on her left. 3. Inhalation analgesia (Trilene in this case) is administered. 4. Using his right index finger, the doctor, by means of a rectal examination, located the posterior fontanel. 5. The patient was then rolled over to her left side by the nurse, the operator meanwhile keeping his finger constantly in contact with the posterior fontanelle. 6. The docotr performed two (bimanual) movements simultaneously while the mother was being turned over to her left side by the nurse. a) he exerted pressure upon the baby's anterior (left) shoulder with his left thumb to cause the shoulder to roll forwards from right to left clockwise (if one was looking up at the maternal pelvis from below). b) the right index finger of the accoucheur.....exerted light tangential pressure at the posterior fontanelle to guide the foetal occiput round from the 7 o'clock position to the 12 o'clock position, the manipulation being very similar in force and direction as that used in a telephone; it is quite as quickly and smoothly completed as that. The movement of the patient's body, combined with the two simultaneous light movements of the accoucher's hands on its body and head, easily and gently rotated the foetus.....the description takes far longer to read than to perform." he also notes that this does not require full dilation of the cervix to perform.


VALERIE EL HALTA (very short version). Put her in knee-chest at 2 cm with her head to the side on a pillow and keep her there for 20 minutes to a half hour, making sure her belly is away from her knees enough to allow the baby to float out of the pelvis. Get your fingers in there and apply pressure to the baby's head until it turns. Once in position, break her BOW so the head will stay. If it doesn't work the first time, keep trying after a rest.


V E H"S TECHNIQUE V. LONG (slightly edited).


Posterior Presentation - a pain in the back


By VALERIE EL HALTA The Birth Center Valerie El Halta is a Certified Professional Midwife with NARM (North American Registry of midwives). She has been practicing midwifery for 20 years and has helped birth over 2,500 babies. She is co-director of the Birth Center in Dearborn, Michigan.


Assisting in Anterior Rotation Prenatally: 1) Have the mother do the "pelvic rock" exercise at least three times a day. 2) She may assume a knee-chest position for twenty minutes, three times a day. 3) Have the mother lie on a slant board (as with a breech position) several times a day for thirty minutes at a time. 4) Have the mother take warm baths and gently encourage her baby to "roll over". We have found it very effective for the mother to visualize her baby in the correct position and to talk to her baby, telling it to move as well. One time we had a particularly stubborn baby, who liked the way he was lying just fine. The mother had suffered with previous posterior labour and was very anxious that this not be a repeat performance. She had tried in vain to get this kid to cooperate, so I called the dad in and said, "Show this baby who's the boss!" Dad said, "Turn over, baby!" and he did.


Assisting Anterior Rotation During Labour: 1) When it is verified that the baby is in a posterior position, the first thing that I do is have the mother assume and maintain a knee-chest position for approximately 45 minutes. Although this position is not the most comfortable one for the mother, it is very effective as it allows the baby more room in which to rotate. I find that the mother tolerates this position well if she is not in advanced labour. We make sure that she is well-supported by lots of pillows and giver her lots of encouragement and emotional support. Often, while in the knee-chest position the contractions become more regular and more effective, which also assists the baby's rotation. 2) If the mother cannot tolerate the knee-chest position for as long as necessary to turn the baby, we alternate by placing her in an exaggerated Simm's position (lying on left side, two pillows under the right knee, which is jack-knifed, left leg straight out and toward the back). 3) Every effort should be made to avoid rupturing the membranes, as the "pillow" offered by the forewaters gives a cushion on which the baby's head may spin more easily. Furthermore, if the waters break before the baby has rotated to the anterior, it is possible that sudden descent of the fetal skull will result in a deep transverse arrest!


If labour is more advanced when the posterior is identified, say 4-5 cm, if may be helpful while the mother is in the knee-chest position for the attendant to place her hand in the mother's vagina and gently lift the head, somewhat disengaging the head and allowing it to turn to anterior. If the posterior has not been discovered until complete dilation, or if the above methods have not been applied in early labour, the baby's head may still be turned to make delivery more likely. Again, placing the mother in the knee-chest position, with knees slightly apart, the midwife may place her hand into the woman's vagina (remember, your hand is smaller than the baby's head!). Attempt to lift the head up by grasping the head firmly, waiting for a contraction and turning the baby into an anterior position. As soon as the head is corrected, hold on tight and when the uterus contracts again, urge the mother to push very hard! If the amniotic sac has not previously ruptured, rupture it now. This will assure that the position remains fixed and the baby will usually be born very rapidly. This procedure is both safe and sane, yet it must be acknowledged that it will take some physical strength to turn this recalcitrant little head against the force of a good contraction.