How does your garden grow?

I was starting to feel slightly worried about the state of our garden compared to everyone else's in the neighbourhood but then my WONDERFUL TCC friends, as ever, made me feel better.......send me your garden pic and I'll add it to the gallery......

This is our garden, there is more mess round the corner!

The proof

I recently posted for help on my FB wall. 

In an effort to prove to my mother that my friends also have 'different priorities' and to help me feel better about her frequent nasty remarks about our home, I asked people to post pics of their homes. The fact is, I am constantly tidying and she NEVER comes round in that '10minute window' when the house IS tidy!

Here are the results. I must say, I DO feel better about our home! I will show these pictures to her at the weekend.

Please do keep the pictures coming!

 

Meltdowns - on the increase

Losing the Plot - on the decrease

Breastfeeding - soooooooooooooooooooo much

Today my babies

Today my baby knocked a plant over tipping out the water that had gathered at the bottom and proceeded to eat the soil. The crawling has begun.

Today my baby refused to wear or take her coat to nursery. Again.

Today my baby wouldn't eat her breakfast because she was so busy watching My Little Pony. Which also made her late for school.

Today my baby had a meltdown in B&Q and refused to get into the car because I wouldn't buy everything she wanted.

Today my baby went to the art galleries and drew pictures of the faces. Happy ones. Kind ones. Sad ones. Angry ones.

Today my baby cried every time I left the room.

Today my baby sat on my knee to read a book and told me to put my phone down.

Today my baby took her medicine without a fuss. The course was finished, she wasn't even meant to!

Today my baby sat on the toilet and the potty for her pee-pee.

Today my baby took fish fingers out the freezer put them on a tray and started making lunch, carefully counting out six each.

Today my baby brought her bag in from the car without being asked.

Today my baby carried her sister to me when she was crying and I was peeing.

Today my baby made her own sandwich after school. It only had ketchup in it. But still. And she wiped up after herself.

Today my babies let me sleep while I slept with my other baby.


Today my babies did their thing.

Today my babies seem not like babies at all....

Today my babies wouldn't go to sleep until they were cuddled up next to me


Meltdowns - none
Losing the plot - none
Breastfeeding - some

Mid Morning Plot Losing

When we are at home and the place is a mess, I usually, around mid morning, have a complete meltdown at the impossibility of the task in front of me.  Millie by this point, has been upset and unsettled all morning.  She has refused the manduca, so I fashioned the sutemi, which is too big for me,  into a side carrier and she finally fell asleep giving me a chance to sort the kitchen.  I feel good about that achievement, until I try to walk into the conservatory and realise the momentous task in front of me. It is basically impossible to walk freely around the house and that always causes consternation. Then Millie wakes up and is unsettled again.  To avoid complete meltdown this time, I write a blog and make a video.  Distraction, great for mums as well as kids.  

The thing that always precipitates these meltdowns is when I ask the girls to help me with something, or wipe up a spillage they have made, or put their dishes into the kitchen..It's nothing major that I am asking of them but more often than not, I am ignored which makes me so crazy.  These little thing that I ask of them all add up to make life just that little bit easier.  I don't think its unreasonable, but clearly I am in the minority.  I feel so frustrated and start to feel like a slave in my own home.  I start to act like a petulant teenager.  Why the *f**u*^45ck should I do things for them if they won't even do this small thing to help around the home.  Then I remember the whole modelling thing.  If I model helpfulness for them, and enjoyment in my tasks, apparently, they will follow........some days I get fed up waiting for this future I am creating and want it NOW.  It hard to remember that its the long term goal I am aiming for.  

"It is usually assumed that children who aren't made to obey their parents will grow to be unruly, disrespectful, and 'out of control'. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children who are treated with respect are respectful of others. Children who are listened to as equals listen to others as equals. Children whose opinions are valued value others' opinions. A family where parents and children are allies is a peaceful family."

Rue Kream

Why? Why? Remind me again

It's afternoon and evenings like today's that leave me wondering why I don't just use punishments. Why don't I just use threats. Why don't I just bribe my way out of this shit. 

I need a reminder. I'm still waiting for it. I am holding faith that I will be shown a reminder in some way or another. 

Ellie is all out of sorts at the moment and it's stumping me. There are several things going on for her and I am having trouble unravelling. Maybe its just a virus

One thing is she is over exuberant (rough) with Millie and it occasionally freaks me out. Even though I know she loves her and thinks the world of her, I sometimes get these 'Of Mice and Men' moments. I have tried explaining how she is so little and that you can tell she doesn't like it and it's important to listen to her. I have been as calm as possible in the circumstances. I have tried to show her different ways. And much to my disappointment I have shouted. Nothing seems to work. She knows. She totally just loves her SO much and wants to show it with hugs kisses and smooshes, she sometimes forgets that Millie is still tiny and fragile. She has really been trying harder to be less 'exuberant' it's just such a difficult concept for her to grapple with. 

Just because I parent the way I do doesn't mean that I say yes all the time. Funnily enough Maia has been asking me for a few days now to be the kind of mum that says yes to everything. She wants a yes day. I read about 'yes days' a while ago I admit I love the idea and when they were younger it was SO much easier to say yes to things.  I get the feeling behind it but frankly I'm too scared to do that kind of thing nowadays!! Maybe it's just what we need. 

Ellie is really angry with me for saying no to the ice cream van. She went on a rampage around the house making a mess in every room. I didn't interfere. She was not in the mood for words. She wanted action. Big mess up the house type action. I left her to it. Turns out grandma had also said no to an ice lolly earlier. It was all just too much. I suspect there is more to this outburst than just ice cream but I can't get to the bottom of it. 

Afterwards, I give her lots of cuddles and validation of her anger. She is not really in the mood for that either. I tidy up as much as possible and ask for some help with her bedroom rampage. She is not up for that just now. In fact it took until the next day and a bit more encouragement and offers of me helping her and then a family tidy session before she finally helped. She even invited all the street friends for a tour of our house and wasn't bothered in the slightest with the state of her room!! She just loved showing them round! I should take a leaf out of her happiness book.

I remember an hour beforehand that I am meant to be going out. It's been a long time since I have been out of an evening and am torn between can't be bothered and the girls are to flooby. I decide the girls are too flooby and make my escape with Millie!! Hubby manages brilliantly and he gets them to sleep too!! Wonders will never cease. It never seems worth going out if I have to come home to mayhem and non-sleeping children but they are old enough now though that I feel comfortable leaving them at bedtime.

I had a great evening of being able to talk and think all at the same time. It's a wonderful feeling!! Hubby also manages to go out when I get home. So it's win win all round tonight. 

Meltdowns - house suffered from this one

Losing the Plot -on an upslide 

Breastfeeding - on an upslide too