Run up to summer

There are 5 days left of school. Last week I was rather excited with the prospect of another year of school being over. This week I'm already feeling quite unmotivated, really really tired and kind of overwhelmed with everyone's needs. I can't really muster up the enthusiasm for final week of school. The final push is upon us and I can't be bothered. 

BUT...

It will mean no more stressy mornings for a while of herding everyone up, dressed and out the door with something, anything (yes tobelerone is breakfast) in their tummies which will be amazing.

It will mean no more shouting at Ellie who has recently decided not to get into her seat so when I leave the driveway, she shrieks and freaks because she is not strapped in, doesn't have her school bag and forgot her shoes (school not gym), even though she has had plenty of time. 

It will mean no more 6 trips a day dropping and picking up various kids. In fact it will mean no more for at least two years!!!! Yes! Maia is going into primary one! It will be just Millie and I for the whole day!! I won't know what to do with myself!!! And no it's not time for another one.....yet!

It will mean no longer even attempting to make it to school on time. I can count on one hand the amount of times we've managed it. 

SO...

I'm looking forward to all of the above not happening. I'm looking forward to having more quality time with my girls. I guess, yes, I am looking forward to the summer!!

BRING IT ON!!

Just let me catch up on some sleep first and maybe get a wee massage before the full on full time wonderful holidays start!

YAY!!!

Meltdowns - frustrated due to tiredness ones

Losing the Plot - frustrated due to tiredness ones

Breastfeeding - too much for me at the moment, must be teeth

And the little one said...roll over, roll over

Look where we are all sleeping tonight!! A proper cosleeping family again. The way it used to be before we moved and gained an extra sleeper!

I'm really quite excited about it. I really hope we can make this work.

Bedtimes here are cuuurazy most nights. When it works its bliss. When it doesn't its bedlam.

One goes with me. Two goes with hubby. Two goes with me. One goes with hubby. Three go with me. Three go with hubby. One gets annoyed and swaps. One gets upset and swaps. One gets too tired and cries and swaps. One gets silly and swaps. One gets upset and swaps. AND its never the same children.    

I often have to feed Millie to sleep at same time as bedtime and she obviously doesn't settle if I am not there. Occasionally, she falls asleep enough before the other two come to bed so its like I only have one child (for a bit!). Also sometimes, Millie is awake and happy to be with hubby until, she isn't. Bedtime can take a long time and she's tired too!! We're all bloody tired!

When Ellie and Maia go to bed together, they feed off each other and play/fight and get hyped up. Hubby gets exasperated. I lose the plot or walk off and leave him to it. So I've been taking one and he takes the other. The problem is they both want to sleep with me most of the time. So one is always 'slightly' disappointed. No offence hubby. Ellie always wants to be with me and usually Maia is happy to be with daddy!!! I say usually because I do think Maia 'lets' Ellie be with me because Ellie makes such a fuss. Maia is really considerate of her sister that way. But that's not entirely fair for Maia.

The other night half asleep Maia lamented not sleeping with us anymore. It's been since we moved, so ten months but she is still sad about it. At nighttime peeing time, we put them both together in the other room and I know they sometimes wake up disappointed not to be next to me or hubby, which in turn makes us feel sad. Also recently, Maia has been waking and coming in to our bed around 3am anyway.

I think this could be good for all of us. Cosleeping is the last bastion for restoring connections. Connections weakened by new baby's, new classes, new house. Really it should be the first port of call.

I want it to work.

I hope it does.

I'm Excited.

Only problem is the computer, where hubby and I like to watch films in bed, late at night, is in the other room!!

Meltdowns - should subside!

Losing the Plots - Should subside!

Breastfeeding - hahaha.....

If you are thinking about co-sleeping, check out my links page for co-sleeping information to help you do it safely and comfortably

and

if you want to read other people's co-sleeping blogs, here is a blog carnival I was involved in

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

I feel I'm underachieving all round at the moment. It's been a hard few weeks. Millie has cried a lot this week, not sure what's wrong. Lots of coughing. Lots of boob refusal too.  Probably teething.  It's always teething.   Also, my coccyx still REALLY hurts when I sit down or stand up. The meds for my back don't reach to my bum.

I'm too low and tired to make things work. I never get a moment to take a moment. When I do get a moment I tend to zone out for a bit instead of doing anything creative or productive or I eat or sleep. 

As if to prove my point, just as my mind becomes untangled enough to be able to concentrate and start writing, everyone comes home. The moment is over. I wasted it burning a pancake and watching a film that was out of synch. It was a quirky film and I quite enjoyed it. I might have fully enjoyed it if it had been in synch. 

That's what it feels like at the moment. I am quite enjoying life but not fully, just quite.

I haven't eaten properly. I burnt the second pancake so I gave up. The first was a pile of smoosh cos it was too big for the pan. It's never a good idea for me to be in charge of children when I am tired and hungry. The girls are also full of sugar which doesn't help either. 

It often feels like everything is conspiring against me. Pancakes burning . Out of synch films. Wrong parks. Unseen Trampolining. I really wanted to watch it. I went to an osteopath appointment for Millie instead. She needed that more than I needed trampolining. I really wanted to watch it though. The second chance to watch it and I ended up having couples/family lunch organised by a rabbi at shul. Not sure which *I* needed more. Catch up tv hasn't caught up so I'll have to wait. My needs and wants are second place again. It's not a massive thing. It sort of feels massive though. 

I'm being watched

 I have been living in three children land for 4months today. It's been an unbelievable journey so far. Many highs. Many many lows. Some days I turn round and still can't believe I am a mum. Some days I forget I have three! Some days I can't believe what kind of mum I am and am becoming.

Some days we don't get dressed!

I keep thinking about this meme that's been going around recently. I'm not feeling a great example to my kids just now. That bothers me. They watch my every move.  That freaks me out.

The girls aren't going to bed partly because I'm hungry grumpy and tired. Bed time is always longer and worser when I am not patient loving mama. I know it's confusing and horrible for them when I'm like this. Barry takes over.  I know they want me.  I try to be calm but I don't manage it. Then I apologise and try again but it just doesn't work. Barry takes over again and settles them.

I'm out of synch. 

I think I need reset. 

Meltdowns - completely in synch with whats happening

Losing the Plot - waaay out of synch

Breastfeeding -out of synch

Difficult Week

With sick children all week I have not had time to update things.  We haven't really done much and its been pretty crazy free!!  This picture will have to do: -