Is it worth the MASSIVE effort?

Do I want to be free of high blood sugars and the threat of type 2 diabetes? 

Although I'm only prediabetic, it's inevitable that I will develop type 2,  the GP said. I have many of the risk factors. Genetics, overweight, stress....

THE DIET RULES

This study on the 800 calorie diet, has only be done on 11 people, of them, 7 reversed their diabetes and there hasn't been a follow up yet. There is anecdotal evidence all over google of others who have tried it. Some didn't even do it to the letter. 

Sustainability afterwards is the key but maybe this is the injection turbo booster quick fix crash diet magic pill popping elixir I need. 

I anticipate that like lack of sleep, lack of food will create a crazed deprived mama and the short term result will NOT be fun. Or pretty. 

Long term though....it could be the jackpot. 

I crash dieted a lot when I was younger. I went through phases like most teenagers of poor body image and always *knew* my life would be better if I had a flat stomach. I became vegetarian firstly because I imagined it would mean eating less.  I tried that slimfast diet that was ALL over TV in the 80's.  I was so consumed with dieting I wished I was anorexic. I wished I had the will power and strength not to eat. How messed up is that!  Not eating was difficult. I like my food!  I was also bulimic for a few years. That was a joyful time. Not. Ultimately though it was all about trying to feel in control of my life. I see that now. 

This is also about taking control of a situation. I just don't know if I have the wherewithal or enough support. Could my family handle me even more crazy for two months! Can they afford not too? Diabetes can be problematic to say the least. I'm running out of time. 

Do you think this diet is possible for 8wks? 

Do you think I have the will power, the motivation, the strength?

Would you if your life depended on it?

Meltdowns - they will be mostly from me!

Losing the plot - I most probably will!! 

Breastfeeding - will it be affected?

Click the blue links for more information:

Info on the study:
from the University

Articles about the study: 

from the university
from The Express
From Diabetes.co.uk

Articles from those who have tried it:
from The Guardian

Nature Soup

I've picked the wettest coldest miserablest day EVER to finally make the effort and go to Nurture in Nature. I can't quite believe it. It's either a sign or a fucking joke. It's weird because my first ever NIN over 4yrs ago was the same park in pouring rain.

My enthusiasm for the day is already wearing very thin by the time we finally get in the car for school, Ellie is wailing because she wants to come, Riley is full blown whining at the excitement of walkies and the car has disconnected from its battery for the third time.

I was proper almost organised and cooked a rice dish last night. Didn't manage to sort anything else and Maia takes one look at it and refuses. Oh well she'll be hungry.

It's been over 9months since I was last at NIN (with a few times in between) . For those who don't know, I used to be a proper die hard NIN'er. For years, we would be out twice a week, all weathers, all places. Totally up for it, totally into it. We even had the girls birthday parties outside in nature. Then I got tired.

NIN doesn't start till 10am but most people don't arrive till later (having kids 'n' all!!), but as we've dropped Ellie off at 9am we make our way there. It's a gamble because Maia could become cold and bored after a short time want to leave (it's happened many times in the past) then I'd miss everyone. We bump into an old NIN friend leaving the allotment...with her 4mnth old. Wow it has been a while!!

Manage to muster energy to engage with Maia and throw the ball for Riley, for an hour at the freezing cold windy flagpole. I guess that's the reason the pole is posted there!!

Find your tree

At last people start to arrive and we head straight for the woods for a game of 'find your tree' and the ubiquitous tree climbing.

.

11am - I'm flagging. Millie's asleep on my back. Maia's having an absolute ball, she's found a fishing net which we attached to a stick and she's at the pond. Riley's still going strong too!

12.30pm - persuade Maia to make her way back up towards the flagpole ( car.) I'm beginning to regret not bringing a pram. I really didn't think we'd be out this long!

1pm - amazing what kids will eat when hungry. Rice gone!

2pm - Still here. I'm kinda done but Maia is SO happy making spaghetti soup in a tree nook that I don't have the heart to make her leave. Previously at NIN I used to have a real problem when the group would move on and my kids didn't. I'd feel compelled to keep up and cajole them along and start to become quite stressed that everyone was ahead chatting an socialising whilst their kids played nearby whilst mine were lagging behind and I was alone. Today though I decided to be ok with it. Stayed where I was. I am so glad I did. Millie came down off my back and totally immersed herself in her surroundings, Maia and I connected brilliantly over natures soup.

I was on a roll. We finished at the park just in time to pick up Ellie from school....except....bugger......she has after school club!!! Had to go home, change Millie, feed her and go back out again. Urgh!

All in all it was a brilliant day. I'm so glad I made the effort and forced myself to go. I'd texted with my cousin about it in the morning and I'm so glad she persuaded me to go. I've lost myself in caring for three littlies and keeping the house going that I'd forgotten how to get my act together to go out and about. I'd lost confidence in my ability to cope with anything but the mundane. Today showed me that I *can* do it.

Thank G-d it's nearly the weekend though, I'm totally knackeroonied and mega-cranky tonight!!

Meltdowns - not in nature!

Losing the plot - just with the bloody car

Breastfeeding - in nature!! It feeds my soul!

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

I feel I'm underachieving all round at the moment. It's been a hard few weeks. Millie has cried a lot this week, not sure what's wrong. Lots of coughing. Lots of boob refusal too.  Probably teething.  It's always teething.   Also, my coccyx still REALLY hurts when I sit down or stand up. The meds for my back don't reach to my bum.

I'm too low and tired to make things work. I never get a moment to take a moment. When I do get a moment I tend to zone out for a bit instead of doing anything creative or productive or I eat or sleep. 

As if to prove my point, just as my mind becomes untangled enough to be able to concentrate and start writing, everyone comes home. The moment is over. I wasted it burning a pancake and watching a film that was out of synch. It was a quirky film and I quite enjoyed it. I might have fully enjoyed it if it had been in synch. 

That's what it feels like at the moment. I am quite enjoying life but not fully, just quite.

I haven't eaten properly. I burnt the second pancake so I gave up. The first was a pile of smoosh cos it was too big for the pan. It's never a good idea for me to be in charge of children when I am tired and hungry. The girls are also full of sugar which doesn't help either. 

It often feels like everything is conspiring against me. Pancakes burning . Out of synch films. Wrong parks. Unseen Trampolining. I really wanted to watch it. I went to an osteopath appointment for Millie instead. She needed that more than I needed trampolining. I really wanted to watch it though. The second chance to watch it and I ended up having couples/family lunch organised by a rabbi at shul. Not sure which *I* needed more. Catch up tv hasn't caught up so I'll have to wait. My needs and wants are second place again. It's not a massive thing. It sort of feels massive though. 

I'm being watched

 I have been living in three children land for 4months today. It's been an unbelievable journey so far. Many highs. Many many lows. Some days I turn round and still can't believe I am a mum. Some days I forget I have three! Some days I can't believe what kind of mum I am and am becoming.

Some days we don't get dressed!

I keep thinking about this meme that's been going around recently. I'm not feeling a great example to my kids just now. That bothers me. They watch my every move.  That freaks me out.

The girls aren't going to bed partly because I'm hungry grumpy and tired. Bed time is always longer and worser when I am not patient loving mama. I know it's confusing and horrible for them when I'm like this. Barry takes over.  I know they want me.  I try to be calm but I don't manage it. Then I apologise and try again but it just doesn't work. Barry takes over again and settles them.

I'm out of synch. 

I think I need reset. 

Meltdowns - completely in synch with whats happening

Losing the Plot - waaay out of synch

Breastfeeding -out of synch