Day 12 - Pain Day

I am in so much pain when I wake up today, I decide not to get up.  Hubby changes Millie before he goes to work and puts her back on my boob and there we stay.  I don't really mind the girls finishing the ice cream.  I love listening to them play house in the next room and not disturbing me.  I hate being in so much pain.

The soft play really did a number on my coccyx and yesterday I did a mega hoover and house tidy.  That's an on hands and knees with attachment type hoovering.  So my back and coccyx are agony.  My back has completely seized up and I cannot move and every movement is awful on my bum bone.  I feel old and decrepit. And I have headache.

It also kills my mood.  I warn the girls to ignore my shouting today.  I am snappy.  I am grumpy.  My patience is shot. Pain is a bugger in so many ways.

They have swimming today at 4.30pm and every 5minutes since 12pm,  Maia asks me 'Is it time to go? Is it time to go?' She loves to repeat. It drives me nutso!  Got to love her enthusiasm though.  So thankful they have no concept of time yet as its been really useful today.  'Before we go swimming we have to.....'  So far we have brought plates into the kitchen, put cream on sores, carried nappies upstairs and best of all you have to blow your nose and be snot free before you go swimming!!

Fight the pain mama

I also had a major crack down on their tv watching today.  I felt it was making them really angry and grumpy and sedentary. They don't kick up a fuss and go off to play...I want to say 'go off to play happily', but it doesn't quite happen that way.  Throughout the day they come to me complaining the other has hit them.  I listen to their story, empathise with their pain and remind them we don't hit in our family.  I am sure there is more I could be doing but today my resources are too low to manage more.  So they have bouts of playing brilliantly and bouts not so.

Meanwhile, Millie is feeding a ton and still feeling the effects of my pizza.  Her bum is red raw and she is farting like a trooper.  AND Ellie has given her another cold so she is full of snot and unbelievably unhappy about lying flat again.  She is not a happy camper either.

Swimming is too short, its only half an hour and the girls needed to pee one after the other this week, so the minute I sat down, which is incredibly painful,  I am up again and then up and down again.  Whilst drying the girls, the mum next to me starts complaining about her hubby buying her kids crisps before dinner....I rush the girls and their chocolate minstrels out the door!

Once home, Millie has a complete gurgling snot filled screaming painful squitty pooping meltdown.  I shove two carrots and some lentils in a pot call it soup and count the minutes until hubby comes home.

Meltdowns - Millie sized one

Losing the Plot - most of the morning due to pain

Breastfeeding - all morning

Day 10 -The Day I Did So Very Little

Holy crappito my bum bone is total agony I can barely move and getting out of bed takes major breathing effort.

I am so going back to sleep today. I don't care what happens. I am going back to sleep. When everyone else wakes up, hubby takes Millie and aaahhhh bliss, I go back to sleep. YAY!!

Once awake, we go swimming. The last time we went swimming was a complete nightmare. This time was excellent!! Man it makes such a difference having an extra pair of hands. I have Millie in a water sling. What a fantastic sling. I can catch jumping children left right and centre it's ace!! I momentarily forget that just because hubby is holding Mille for a bit doesn't mean I can go for a few lengths. Three kids that can't swim, two that can't touch the bottom not a great combination for one adult!! Damn no exercise for me.

Wonderful hubby takes the girls and cousin Jack to the park for the rest of the afternoon and evening so I chill on the couch with Millie. That is until she wakes up and the pizza I ate has kicked in and she starts screaming in pain and won't stop. I feel so guilty and helpless. I give her Nux vomica and fennel tea and massage her tummy and she eventually calms down and does some green poop and falls asleep. I feel so bad. 

So it turns out Maia fell asleep too. She comes home with hubby but wakes up as soon as he puts her into bed. She thought she was lying on Millie and got a fright! Late night again it seems. 

Hubby goes out for drink with a friend and I take the path of least resistance...I manage to watch one more thing of my choice before the girls get to choose. 

Upstairs an argument ensues about which books to read and I have a slight paddy at the wet bed from this morning which is still wet with its wet bed stuff still on grrr. Decant everyone to big bed and Millie wakes up so make an executive decision for no book. So whilst I change, pee and feed Millie back to sleep, I recount todays events. Ellie falls asleep half heartedly hitting, kicking and saying "I don't love you I don't like you I hate you, you didn't read a story" over and over. She is exhausted and is asleep within 5minutes. 

Maia on the other hand is like the Duracell bunny on acid.

Meltdowns - an exhausted short bedtime one

Losing the Plot - an exhausted short bedtime one

Breastfeeding - an exhausted short bedtime one

Swimming, Who Would?

This is a post I forgot to publish from May 2011 when Ellie was 4.5 and Maia was nearly 3 and I was not pregnant yet with Millie!

The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. 

Its seems like a good idea when frequently suggested by the girls, a great source of exercise and immense fun,  but generally something seems to come up and we usually manage to not go,. As if some force were keeping me safe....now I remember why!

Today though, I followed through on the request, organised ourselves, did a bit of house stuff first and off we went.  Well, I say that like it was nothing, initially they emptied out the prepared swimming bag to see what was inside, so everything had to be found and repacked.  Costumes were worn already, so some persuasion on clothes was required.  Maia decided on a trainer and a welly, I didn’t see the point in arguing since she was making her way to the car of her own accord...don’t break the spell!  Ellie had to be convinced to actually wear shoes instead of just tights.  Momentary stop on way up road to check Ellie had definitely put her costume back in the bag. 

I had made the decision to go to a further away pool, for reasons which will become clear, but 5minutes into our journey Ellie was screaming she needed the toilet, the nearer pool was 2minutes away and I couldn’t actually remember the way to the other pool without going all round the houses, and peeing needed,  I decided not to stress and go to the near one.  I knew there was a reason not to, I knew this already and yet STILL I chose to go. 

This pool has 4 different pool type areas.  The main deep pool.  The baby pool.  A smaller shallow round pool and a 'spa' pool with slides coming off it into the baby pool.  I say 'spa' but it NEVER works and is just a through pool to the slides into the baby pool.

Herein lies the problem.  The council policy says I can go swimming with two toddlers, 1:2 ratio but they also say I MUST be with my child at ALL times.  So in we go......Maia wants to go into the big main pool straight away but I persuade her to go into the baby pool first.  So far so good, they are having a ball with their rubber rings and I feel in control mum.    We make friends with a grandpa and his devil jump right in no fear 3yr old grandson.  After a short while, Maia needs to go to the toilet again, but Ellie refuses to come with.  I can't leave Ellie alone in the pool, so ask grandpa who is there he can 'watch' Ellie too.  I say, she can touch the ground and I have no worries.  I take Maia to the toilet with one of the staff saying I can't leave Ellie, I let them know that she is being watched by → that person.  They are appeased. 

Next, Maia wants to go to the shallow round pool, but Ellie wants to go on the slides, Maia doesn't.  I am in the process of persuading Maia out of the baby pool and possibly go on the slide with me, whilst Ellie walks round to the spa pool, make her way through it and starts to go down the slide.  The staff start having kittens.   I can't persuade Maia to go to the slide, meanwhile Ellie is already out and walking round to go down the slide again, this time with the grandpa and boy in tow.  I have an ingenious idea and suggest the grandpa stays at the top of the slide and I stay in the baby pool to 'catch' them whilst Maia stays and swims about.  This doesn't meet with council approval.  Someone has to actually WALK with Ellie round to the spa pool in case:

1.She might run and slip

2.She might suddenly decided to go over to the main pool and jump in (even though she would NEVER even try without me being there to catch her)

3.Someone might walk off with her ??????????????????? WTF

I then suggest that maybe the staff instead of sitting in their high tower could stand half way between the pools and 'guide' Ellie to the other pool.  I inform them that she would never go to the main pool alone, she knows to walk and how this makes it utterly impossible to go swimming  at their facility.  The staff helpfully suggest I should bring someone with me, I practically laugh in her face and say 'well yes, if I could, I would have someone with me all day every day'.  Meanwhile Ellie is happily using the slide and Maia is bobbing in the baby pool, so effectively I am with neither whilst they 'talk' to me about it

So now Ellie has had a few turns of the slide and  decides she wants to go to the main pool and use the mini slide there.  So I have to persuade Maia to join us and we stay there having some fun whilst splashing in and out of the lane swimmers who go right past the mini slide, why they didn’t choose to go on the other side of the pool I don’t know.

Maia needs the toilet again and Ellie has persuaded the mum to go with her to the slides again, so all is well for a bit. 

We then we all take up residence in the shallow round pool and we are joined by grandpa and boy, and mum and dad with little girl. Mum agreeing with me the difficulties of swimming with two and the lack of involvement of staff considering the place is practically empty.  Then disaster strikes.  Whilst ALL of us are in the shallowest of the pools, Maia accidentally tips on her rubber ring and goes under the water for a few seconds, unable to right herself.  The guard who is on the complete other side of the facility makes a shrieking sound and I turn to rescue her.  A split second indeed!  Shaken and upset, Maia needs a feed for comfort, but as I have previously had issues with feeding in the pool, I need to get out and persuade Ellie to come out too.  Thankfully the mum, takes Ellie away to give me time to calm Maia down. 

By this time I REALLY want to go home, but realise Maia needs to get straight back in the water and have fun to avoid further fear.  And the brave munchkin she totally is, she is right back in on her ring no problem!

I finally persuade the girls its time to leave and make a mental stamp on my forehead NOT to go back to that pool any time soon probably even with another helping hand. 

Swimming...who would do it with 2 toddlers?

Meltdowns - none

Losing the Plot - almost with pool staff

Breastfeeding - in the pool shock horror

Day 2 - So almost perfect...if it hadn't been for that pesky mummy

Someone forgot to tell Millie we could all sleep in today. The other two slept a bit longer.

Perfect opportunity to sort my blog for yesterday I thought. Someone forgot to tell Millie and Maia and Ellie that mummy wanted to do that. Not change nappies, make breakfast, talk, feed, interact. Harrumph. The unreasonableness of them!!

Gave up and sorted my family out mumbling about how other people manage to do other things.

Ellie 15months

Decided to take Millie for a swimming lesson at the local pool. I say lesson but it was more of a getting used to water, which was freezing, whilst singing those songs. You know the ones...five little boobs, wheels on boobs, happy and you boob it. So not my thing!! Millie didn't cry but she didn't smile once either. Started getting her used to back swimming which is what I used to do with Ellie. When she started to fall asleep in the water sling, I knew it was time to come out.

Thankfully and amazingly she lay happily on the changing table till I was dressed, didn't complain about getting a nappy on and fell asleep during milk!! Maybe I should take her every day. So lovely to have a happy kicking baby instead of screaming lovely one!

I love how the girls are always happy to see me even though I've only been gone an hour. I think when that stops, thats when I should worry.

Ok . It would seem we are unschoolers on the tv front today. I'm tired. It's the weekend. I wanted to play a game of golf on the wii!! Which turned into finding a free month on Netflix - oh crap. Not good for a tv addict like myself. We all watch a cool vampire kids film which I miss tons of trying to calm Millie but I bet they will watch it again and again and again and again. What is it with watching things over and over? Then we find SouthPark and I am not sure but try a little. Typically it's the one where chef leaves then comes back talking very wrong about sex.  Are they all that rude? I stop that one when I hear him ask a kid for anal :-0. We opt for RugRats All Grown Up!! What a clever idea, very cool!!

Kim the twin all grown up!

By now I am getting twitchy at the amount of screen time going on and the amount of time hubby has spent in the car installing a hands free kit he got for a tenner. I try to go upstairs to post my day one blog since Millie is sitting calmly for a change but somehow the girls notice and Ellie sneakily sends Maia up to say that Millie is crying to get me to come back down and sit with them more!!

They then find spongeboob square poop. I cant bear the thought of sitting through that and need to take Millie upstairs to feed and change her anyway. By now it's 7pm. Hubby has been out in the car since after lunch and I think enough's enough. By some amazing feat of telepathy (and the scowl I give out the door) hubby comes in. He joins me upstairs whilst I'm sorting Millie's nappy and trying to work out if we can pick up tickets on a Sunday that I forgot to get for our family drama workshop (!!!!very excited) when Ellie comes up and says she is hungry. Damn. Dinner.

I can't usually manage dinner till Barry gets home from work to take over holding Millie by which time all I want to do is flop into bed. Anyway I passive aggressive sweetly say "daddy will be down in a minute to make you something". Hubby being the super dad he is agrees!! I go downstairs and see Maia has fallen asleep on the sofa (timing. The secret of good comedy apparently).

Then, I do the unthinkable. I turn off the Netflix. Ellie comes back in and realises what I have done and freaks out. I realise she is tired and hungry as well as angry that I turned it off and I try and carry her into another room whilst suggesting she gets a book for me to read but she really loses it. Starts calling me stupid and idiot and mean and horrible.

I fun chase her up the stairs but she accidentally (I hope) kicks me on the forehead. It's unbelievably sore and I have to go downstairs to stop myself 1) crying and 2) lose the plot. I can tell she wants me to go back up and connect but also she is too annoyed with me to let me so comes down and as she is unable to work Netflix yet puts on a video instead. I tell her I am going outside on the hammock and ask if she wants to join me. She says yes but only after she has watched three more things. I leave her to it and two minutes later she has calmed down and has joined me outside where we sit and chat for half an hour whilst hubby makes dinner. I decide not to push for Ellie to join us at the table. She chooses to eat in front of the tv.

After dinner Ellie and I were about to take the dog for a walk because he hasn't been out since Thursday evening but Maia woke up and became very upset at the thought of me leaving. She is just discombobulated from waking up on the sofa and I sit with her for a bit till she has calmed down and suggest that if she finishes her dinner she can join us but she doesn't want me to go out at all. Maaaan it's never easy. I start to feel stressed at the differing needs of every living thing in the house relying on me, dog included.

We eventually make it out the door and manage a few goat and troll storytellings before midges stop play.

Normally by this time, 9.30pm, it would be the end of the night but as Maia slept earlier, she is not ready for bed. I can tell Barry is itching to get the girls to bed so he can go out and is getting antsy so I tell him just to go.

I am too tired by this point to try and even attempt bedtime and anyway I have decided not to mention 'that' word all holidays and see if the girls can self regulate. So we all settle down to watch Tarzan. I'd love to say the night ended with us all snuggled watching a film together and they fell asleep on the sofa but Millie woke up and the action of me moving and taking Millie to the toilet and for a nappy change (she was dry!!) alerted Ellie to the fact that she was lying on her own on the floor. She wanted on the sofa too, fair enough. She HAD to be beside me. Maia refused to move up so I could be in the middle. Ellie was getting upset. Millie was getting upset. It all got really stressful again, I literally felt a brain cell explode. I'm afraid I lost it :-(

Maia cried. I cried. Millie who had been happily feeding cried because she fell off during the kerfuffle. I was so pissed off with shouting as I had almost managed the whole day without losing it.  I just didn't understand why Maia wouldn't move and didn't have anything left in me to try and sort it consciously. I said if she wouldn't move I would just take Ellie up to bed (she was desperate to fall asleep next to me).  This obviously made Maia cry more at the thought of being left alone but still refused to move.  Then, for some unknown reason, possibly tiredness, I physically moved her onto the floor instead of up the sofa a bit.  She eventually calmed down and crawled back onto the sofa.

Harmony restored. Film finished. All in bed asleep by midnight.

Long live diclofenac, my pain medication

Meltdown - one spectacular one

Losing plot - one spectacular one

Breastfeeding - happily

Pooping - only a few frothy ones