Intermittent willpower

Who has tried the intermittent fasting.....tell me your experiences and tips?

I tried the Paleo way of eating last year and found it hard to sustain the no grains thing (and the constant cooking thing!) I like cous cous. I like bread. I like quinoa. I like noodles. I'm not overly excited with most rice (except fried) and pasta DOES bloat me.....oh also the no sugar was really really hard but I'm going to have to get on that.  Again!!

Several people have suggested the 5:2 intermittent fasting way of eating and so I'm going to try it. Combined with less processed more 'real cooked from scratch foods' and actually really starting to cut down on my chocolate intake, not just pretend I am by spreading it thro the day more, this might work for me. 

Mercola suggests 11am-7pm. That sounds slightly more doable than ALL FRIKIN' DAY!!   I find it hard to eat in the mornings anyway but if I wait for hubby to come home and the kids to be in bed then it's nearly 10pm!!  

Day 3 of all eating together was refused by all the girls. Hubby loved his. He may have also knowingly and willingly eaten courgette but I didn't double check!!! 

This article was in my inbox today and even tho I said a while back, that I feel one step closer to death every time I read Mercola, I decided to keep subscribed.  A part of me knows he makes some sense. I don't read them all now but I opened this one tonight.

http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2015/03/27/shed-unwanted-belly-fat.aspx?e_cid=20150327Z2_DNL_NB_art_1&utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art1&utm_campaign=20150327Z2_DNL_NB&et_cid=DM70571&et_rid=891770403

Buggerz

I've been swimming in denial for about a year now. I know I shouldn't be doing it. I know it's genetic and age related. I know my brother and my father both got it. I know ALL this, yet I just couldn't stop.

Every night, once the kids are finally asleep and I am finally settled on the sofa after my dinner, we eat chocolate.  Not talking a wee bar here, I'm talking the big big ones. The yummy massive ones. And sometimes a bag of something else chocolatey. It is my treat for making it through the day. E. V. E. R. Y. night. 

Except sometimes, I have it during the day too. Especially if I am feeling crappy. It boosts me with it's lovely chocolatey seratonin kick. I find I can't feel complete with my meal if I don't seal it with chocolate. I'm totally addicted. 

I have a very addictive personality. If it's in the house I can't ignore it. If I want some and don't get it, I get all withdrawy and edgy. It's quite scary. 

I knew I needed to cut down but I just kept ignoring it. Making excuses. I deserve it. I've earned it. I NEED IT DAMMIT!!

Well my ticking time bomb has finally been activated. My blood sugar levels are elevated and I have an appointment with the Dr tomorrow who will no doubt tell me to sort out my diet and stop eating my beloved chocolate. I'm still hoping it's all a big error (I know it's not). 

The diet recently has mainly consisted of pasta which hasn't helped either. When money is tight, pasta is cheap and easy. Frankly I am sick of pasta, so I won't be sad to cut that down. I just really need to get my arse back into cooking gear and start making proper healthy meals again. I'm going to need to dig out my gestational diabetes pregnancy food diet and start following that again. 

Honestly I am not looking forward to any of it. I love my chocolate. Giving it up is hard. If I go through a day without it, that's amazing for me. I had to stop all sugar during my pregnancy and all I did was dream about chocolate.  I even made a blog post about it.  I'm trying new recipes of pseudo chocolate with cocoa and bananas and avocados but it's just not tobelerone :(

The other thing I'm going to need to do now is more exercise. I'm dreading this too especially with my back pain. I guess walking toddler pace just doesn't cut it!

I suppose it explains my extreme tiredness and constant hunger.  I'm really quite depressed about it all which makes me even less inclined to want to take on this huge task of change but I'm going to have to. 

Basically I am a big fat mess of unhealthy and it's time to face reality, deal with myself and sort my shit out. 

Meltdowns - eldest is going through something, so on the increase 

Losing the plot - too tired

Breastfeeding - reduces risk of diabetes but doesn't completely stop it if you still eat rubbish!

Sunday Firsts

We are invited to my brothers for brunch. Whilst arguing about leaving and not being ready and usual getting out of house shenanigans, we get a text for an extra hour reprieve!! It helps to have a late SIL too!

My brother is an accomplished pianist and sits with Ellie to show her the next few notes of scooby doo that she has been slowly learning!! We pick raspberries and gooseberries from their garden and it was a lovely afternoon. The girls were given a present from SIL's parents. A massive Chocolate bunny each!! I say nothing. I am reminded of the foot high santa incident. I sense no sleep tonight!!

We return home via grandmas as we've decided to try riding a real bike. Ellie feels ready. I spend most of the time blowing up tyres and fixing seat that she had lost interest. Se has a few go's and its done. Ellie tends to give up if something is not easy straight off. She gets easily frustrated. She wants to do this though so hopefully that will carry her through.

I am acutely aware of how I need to handle this. I know I need to be careful and gentle and not push or scare or panic or fear or belittle. I don't want to push it but I can't help trying to persuade her to try a few times more. I manage playfully a few times but I am sensing I am getting dangerously close to over doing it and ruining things so stop. Not before she crashes into kerb and falls off. Shit was hoping to avoid that so soon. She is off inside.


I am terrible for that. Ruining a moment with thoughtlessness or going a bit too far with my eagerness.


Tonight we make enough salmon for everyone, this time they don't eat it. *sigh*

Hubby was meant to take girls to SIL. I am looking forward to a rest and settle on sofa for a crappy film. The car won't start. I have taken an embargo and am not moving. I say to the girls that I am tired and they can stay here quietly or go upstairs and play but I am NOT coming up. They disappear. 

I have to laugh at that the fact that the couple of times this SIL has been round happens to be the couple of times I have just said 'sod it' , flopped on sofa and watched a film whilst chaos ensues around me. To her it must seem like I am always there!!

The girls are flying high on bunny and I nonchlantly whisper into to Ellie's ear "10pm bike practice! " I'm not invested about her answer either way but secretly pleased she says yes. 

I had thought that Maia might fall alseep on sofa with blanket over her whilst we are outside. No chance, these girls are still wired to the moon but we go upstairs anyway. there ensues some Mega rambunctious play till after midnight that takes a lot of effort on my part to remain calm over because it also involves me being jumped on or hurt occasionally. I'm so tired I have no patience but we manage. 

Meltdowns - too high
Losing the Plot - I'm a non plot losing goddess
Breastfeeding - brewing

soon soon so very soon I can almost taste it

 YUMMY

YUMMY

IN

 MY

                                                                                 TUMMY

 WHICH

ONE 

 SHALL

I EAT

FIRST?

Thoughts on Gestational Diabetes Experience

Its so fucking much to process at the moment its crazy....having meeting with IM tomorrow to suss out each others comfort zones for making a home birth happen... although occasionally I think FUCK IT induce and caesarean...thats how crazy it can get!!!

Numbers are down, nhs appeased off insulin for another week or so, making decision on scan in 2weeks re worth the risk of notoriously off sizing chart and more stress...pinning waay too much hope on going early like last two but know thats not a definite....

I'm having to work out the whole food thing in a short space of time to get my numbers under control so i can help my birth happen with the least interventions and complications and fuck me its not easy!! Been off refined sugar for nearly two months now and still get major craving every so often, like tonight.

I've been sending Maia's birth video to my sister for her advice and holy crap, I kind of wish I hadn't watched it just now. It took me 2yrs to write her birth story, thats how hard it was to process!!

"I've seen the future, and this all works out reasonably well." Almost Famous



Meltdowns - sporadic and usually between sisters
Losing the Plot - minimal
Breastfeeding - buying pipette bottles for colostrum

Three reasons

It's one of those mornings where if you are a company trying to sell me something, it is a REALLY good idea NOT to call the house.  Clearly the finance company that has been calling me ALL week and hanging up when I get there, didn't get my memo.  So when they tried again today I called back and spoke to a man called Harry...very nice Harry...just doing his job Harry...."you can't keep calling me and hanging up, I have two kids under the age of three at home, Harry.  You need to stop doing it, just stop doing it, take me off your system Harry.  Harry you NEED to take me off your system.  Take me off your system NOW".  It wasn't until my husband very quietly piped up 'oh they might be able to help us' that I changed focus to him and his inability to let me know a little bit sooner.  Lovely Harry...sort out our financial predicament and I promise not to shout at you again.

There are two possible reasons for feeling this antsy, ok maybe three. The first is a more long term issue and involves me thinking that come Saturday I might be able to switch off a little bit more than normal because Barry is home.  Invariably though, he also takes the opportunity to organise household stuff and basically I just need to lower my expectations and remember that hey I did get a lie in, even if it was a feeding lie in with Maia

The second reason is we had a massive argument last night.  How come its ok for the girls to says 'I don't want to' (help) but not for me?  We are raising free thinking conscious girls who will, I hope, eventually offer help or give help because they want to, not because I want them to or they feel obligated to or guilty not to.  The reality is though, if someone asks for help and doesn't get it......its really irksome.

The third reason is my period is due.

All these reasons a TOTALLY and COMPLETELY valid and I challenge anyone to state otherwise.

Meantime, I am going shopping and buying chocolate.  If you see me, smile or hug me but don't disagree with me.  And yes that is my kids running wild through lidl picking everything up exploring, don't they look happy and care free?


meltdowns 2
losing the plot 1
breastfeeding always

Don't even think you have it sussed not even for a second

25^th April

Hide in plain sight

Covert operation for them not to find the chocolate

Got older, wiser, more observant…me too

Chocolate now in easy reach and hasn’t been found for weeks

27^th April

Maia found it

Damn that giving power to thoughts thing.

(This post was from 2010 and I never published it. I remember the frustration of autonomy and choices over chocolate.  And the trying to hide it versus letting them have it.  Makes me smile now reading this little blog!! Not much has changed!!)