Some people just say it so brilliantly...Episode 3

Status from The Libertarian Homeschooler:

"What has thirty years of working with children, reading child development standards, helping parents with their children, tutoring children, helping mamas birth their babies, keeping up with the latest on brain development, observing parents, observing teachers, observing children, and living with children taught me? 

Quite a lot. Much of it unexpected. Here are some things.

Children are far more noble than most adults are comfortable with.

Adults say children are beastly in order to justify their beastly behavior towards children. 

Children are in a different stage of development than adults (much like butterflies and caterpillars, only backwards) and their values, needs, and capacities are perfectly suited to their growth and development as human beings. These values, needs, and capacities are completely different from and irritating to most adults even though they are advantageous to the species.

Babies understand a lot more than most adults think they do. Humility and wonder is in order.

Adults will let other adults get away with "mistakes" that children get punished for.

Children watch everything. Children hear everything. They are especially attentive to the secrets you think you're keeping. And they know a good many of them. And they tell them to trusted adults.

It is a simple matter to make a fair guess about how a family acts in private by watching how a young child behaves towards other children and listening to what the child says to other children when the parents aren't nearby. 

Children raised with compassion and mercy will show others compassion and mercy. Children whose rights have been honored and who have seen their parents honor the rights of others will act accordingly.

Nothing will make a person less certain about rearing children than having children of their own. They will make mistakes and err on the side of "looking good" in front of other parents when they should really err on the side of being compassionate, tender, and merciful to their children."

Done

I'm having negative thoughts tonight again. I'm trying to write it out to turn it around but it's like I can never get away from the fear of my girls having the same emotional unhappiness I experienced day in day out whilst growing up. The lack of control over my life. The lack of direction. The lack of knowledge despite the massive pressurising push towards qualifications.  The lack of skills.  The lack of esteem. The lack of confidence. The pressure of conformity. The pressure of failure.  The pressure to not be a nobody to be so much more. The confusion. The complication. The hurt.  The pain. The upset. The feeling wrong inside. The drink. The drugs. The self abuse. 

Actually my kids can have the sex, the drugs and the rock and roll!!!

I've always been led to believe that everyone does the right thing in the end. That goodness will out. That it will all turn out ok in the end. That everything works itself out eventually. That everything will be ok. (except for the exception to the rules of course!)

How can you ever know that the right thing is the right thing? 

What if 'your' right thing is often so diametrically opposed to almost everyone around you?

Should I compromise my beliefs to make life easier for myself even if I believe it is damaging to do so? 

Would you?

Rewards and Punishments 6yr old logic

Discussing punishments and bribery in the car on the way home......

Ellie "I want a punishment. No wait a bribe. If we don't go on moshi monsters for a whole day you get us ice cream. Bribery is much better than punishment."

Me "I'm not going to use bribery to get you to do or not do something because then you will never do anything without a reward or because you want to"

Ellie almost crying "Nooooo, I want you to bribe me"

Me "Your reward is the knowledge that you are doing something through your own choice and we have a happy family because we are all helping each other"

Maia pipes up "If I don't go to the bank tomorrow, you'll get me ice cream, that's a bribe"

Me "We are not going to the bank tomorrow"

Ellie "So we can get ice cream then!"

Meltdown - because I won't bribe!

Losing the plot - huge bedtime one

Breastfeeding - owie bitey

Nursery or behave!

I've just remembered that during the meeting with school nurse and acting head, they kept offering Maia the opportunity to go next door and play in the nursery. I'd already asked her before we went in if she wanted to go to the nursery whilst I was in the meeting and I'd pick her up after. So I already knew she didn't want to go. She kept saying no to them. To each thing they suggested or offered throughout the meeting as a way to entice her into nursery she stood up for herself and said no. There were possibly about four maybe five different things (maybe more, it was  said in a lot of different ways)

They are playing party games - They are singing - Ooooooo doesn't it sound fun - don't you want to go?  La la la la la la la what else can we say to make you go away ♪♫ ♪♫

I'm ashamed to realise now that even I got caught up in the whole thing and when she started doing her I'm hungry I'm hungry I'm hungry repetition game she SO loves to do I suggested she could go get a snack at the nursery.  So thats when they were impressed when I said to Maia 'you can either sit here quietly or you can go through to the nursery'

I can't believe I used nursery as a threat and punishment (since we all knew quite clearly that she didn't want to go) and that was ok!!!

There is something ironic or funny about it. I think. Somewhere in there. There must be. Otherwise it's just sad. Almost as sad as Ellie's introduction to nursery

Meltdown - none its the weekend

Losing the Plot - none its the weekend

Breastfeeding - all weekend!

Not a loser - The Big C

"You know, healthy people they've really gotta stop saying things like 

She fought to the end

he battled cancer

Because then when they die you have to say 

they lost their battle to cancer

You're saying they're a loser. They're a loser? Because they died? What was their choices?

Did you ever think, If we all live forever none would ever have babies. There would be no space 

Dying is necessary. 

It's important. It sucks. 

So when we do, don't criticise us on the way out. Just say goodbye and thank you and you're not a loser."

The Big C

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt1515193/

Bampot with a bowlcut