Here to stay

Hello from beyond the Internet!! We are still not connected and it's probably a good thing. There is SO much to do every day that I would be terribly distracted by being able to communicate with the outside world. Even making a telephone call is difficult as the signal is so rubbish and we don't have a land line yet either!!

When we moved last year to the country from the city I was so full of excitement for every little thing. I made a post of all the things I loved about living in the country. This time, even though there are cool things and I still love living in the country, there is a slight tiny superstitious idiotic hesitation.....A little worry of what if.....a silly minuscule stumbling block that is stopping me getting giddy. I hate that little bit of negativity niggling away at my brain but I am still totally in love with living here, loving the country and not regretting moving here for one iota but I am suppressing my slight fear and am going to work very hard to remove any traces of it.  This time I'm practical. This time I'm super busy sorting and mending and fixing and cleaning and tidying and weeding and strimming and sweeping. So much sweeping!! 

I am motivated again to do all that needs to be done because I know it is ours and some crazy loon isn't going to come along and pull the doormat from under us.  I stopped caring about the other place for the rest of the 8 months we were there. I didn't want to get attached. I stopped calling it by its house name, which had been named by the landlords mother. I didn't put up any of our personal pictures and ornaments and chachtkies. I don't think I even cleaned the kitchen floor....!! 

Even though I'm occupied pretty much 24/7, I am still stopping to notice the amazingness of what we have done and enjoying watching the girls exploring their new environment. 

I read once that taking pictures of life stops your brain from remembering real moments. So, I am making mental images rather than pictorial ones. I am banking memories in my brain instead of in the my phone. Instead of rushing to get that perfect picture, I know they will be many memories, I know there will be loads of mental pictures....

Because this time, this is our FOREVER HOME. 

I can't wait for you to come and visit.....!!

Meltdowns - Millie is going through something and melting all over the place

Losing the plot - very frustrating having a mega clingy whining toddler when I have SO much to do

Breastfeeding - "I only want a little bit" for the hundredth time 

WE ARE IN!!! It's a project!!.

We have the keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a dodgy start to the morning where the other sides solicitors delayed things for a couple of hours, through their complete incompetence and annoyance, we finally picked up the keys.  We had organised for the chimney sweeper to arrive but had to cancel because of the delay, this means the our hope to start drying out the house as soon as possible, so we can move in,  has been scuppered.  

Anyway......it's ours it's ours it's our...oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck....IT'S OURS!!!! Well it's the mortgage companies but hey who cares!!!!!

Technically we have only seen inside the place once (there was a breakin a few weeks ago and  managed to sneak a peak then too!) and that was about 6 months ago, so today was like seeing it for the first time again.....I was caught between amazement and fear at what we had just done!!!

Last year in September, I decided to follow a wee road to see where it went and ended up at the back of the windfarm at an abandoned house on the edge of a forest in the middle of nowhere.  As a family, we love exploring abandoned houses so I took everyone there at the weekend.  Over the next few weeks, we went there quite a lot and talked about how we would love to live there and we tentatively tried to find out about it.  It was during one of those visits that I noticed another house that I thought looked abandoned but might not be.  We peeked in the kitchen window and there were things lying about, so we weren't sure.

Then, in October we found out we needed to be out of Hemphill sharpish and the first house fell through, so I decided to contact the owner of this maybe abandoned farm and so began the 7 month long trip that brought us to Tayburn's door.

I followed my dream and made things happen. I am in awe that it worked!!!!

I've uploaded some pictures in an album HERE which I will be adding to as we go on.

Here is a video of the inside...they had emptied pretty much everything out which was a bonus we hadn't expected.  I hope to do a video diary of our adventures........

Losing The Plot - at around 12.30pm today when I was told the keys were delayed

Meltdown - massive one from Maia, who saw the inside for the first time today and had big feelings

Breastfeeding - distracted quite a lot today from it, even at Tayburn where she kept saying ' want to go' repeatedly

The REAL deal....

As of this week, 8months after we finally made the move and left the city for a new life in the country, 6months after we were told to leave our 'supposed' dream home in the country and 7months after we laid eyes on our REAL new dream home in the country, we are in the last stages and waiting for the papers and missives to be sorted. 

We are still tentative because we know how slow to respond and difficult it has been and they may come up with some new fresh hell before signing some of the property over to us.....BUT thanks to our loving family (who don't want to see us homeless!) and (un)fortunate inheritance, it would seem likely that we may be buying a farm!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to live in the country.  I grew up half in the city and mostly up north in the wilds of Scotland on a caravan site.  I created a childhood full of nature and excitement.  Wide open spaces. Fresh air. Mud. Sea. Solitude. Self sufficiency. Confidence, uniqueness and adventure. Its a way of life that always appealed to me way more than the 'little boxes on the hillside'!

It took me a long time to persuade my hubby that this is where we should be, that  this is where our kids should be growing up. Somewhere with space to explore, play and to find their own adventures. Our eldest is now 8 and I've been trying for 7yrs to get him to leave the comfort of his suburban zone! He now says he can't ever imagine moving back to closely spaced identikit houses 'made of ticky tacky'. 

The new place is definitely what an estate agent would call 'great potential'. We will have our work cut out for us but it will be all worth it in the end!  Well it better bloody be because we've encountered some crazy obstacles to get this far! 

We've managed to stay in this house well past our welcome. It has been an experience and has ultimately led us to this point. The loony landlord unwittingly did us a massive favour whilst he will be the one who will remain stuck and grumparsey in his miserable existence trying to make everyone else around him miserable. Someone should have told him you can't keep a good Berlow-Jackson down! 

We hope to move in April and once again start our new life in the country!!!

I can't wait! I've waited long ebloodynough!!

Meltdowns - daily. The stress is getting to us 

Losing the plot - daily. The stress is getting to us 

Breastfeeding - almost night weaned. Almost!!!

Things that make me happy in the country

Things I've learned in the country. Part 1

Post from 6th July 2014 that somehow became unpublished 

Today we did a big transfer of many many boxes and pieces of wood that used to be book cases. It appears all our boxes are either books or toys!!! Hubby called a man with a van who turned up just like that. No fuss. No waiting. No messing about. Brilliant!! 

I stood in the new kitchen staring out the window for ages not knowing what to do first or where to put anything. I have been waiting for inspiration and creative ideas for inside the house but they are not really coming. My mind keeps wandering to the outside and all the wonderful things I'm going to build and do out there. So, I quickly emptied some glass dishes I hardly ever use and the bread maker I haven't used in years into a few  cupboards and dashed outside. 

Last time we were here I cleared out the shed in preparation for the guinea pigs. As much as I love piggies, the hay mess was not so much fun anymore.  

Also since we were last here the landlord, who is the local farmer, decided to use our garden to keep his motherless lambs. The place I had earmarked for the girls play area was now totally covered in sheep dung. At the time I saw them, I was excited for having sheep in our garden and said it wasn't a problem. I didn't really think it through. Not until the girls ran through the house and traipsed poo all through the new hall carpets!!!! OMG! We had only just got the keys, the place was empty and immaculately tidied by Farmer Johns lovely partner and there was I cleaning dung of shoes in the sink and staring at an already manky carpet!!! Welcome to the country. *sigh* 

So back to today. With hubby doing another van run, I set to sorting out the garden for the kids and here is what I've learned in the country today: sheep dung might look dry but underneath most certainly isn't!!

Farmer John also turned up and we chatted about my plans for his garden. He's a lovely funny man with particular ways and likes to make sure I know exactly how things should be. He says I should be a proper mother and take my kids to the play park instead of ruining the grass in the garden with a paddling pool (trampoline). Is that the same grass the sheep are currently ruining with poo!! I laughed. What else could I say!! I'm sure he's joking but in that 'actually I'm not really, I'd rather you did, but I know I can't make you' kind of way!!!

I don't actually mind him showing up unannounced as long as he doesn't mind me or the kids in various states of undress!! 

Three hours later and the main play area is pretty much cleared, the chicken and dog area will just have to stay as is. The dog will probably eat it all away and the chickens won't care. 

The other brilliant thing that happened in the country today (well since we are not connected up) is that the girls played played and played all afternoon!!!!!

Oh!!! Also a bat somehow flew into one of the rooms and gave us all some excitement and nature!!

I love the country!!!

Meltdowns - tiny ones over nettles

Losing the plot - faaaar to busy for that! 

Breastfeeding - in the country!!

Could this be it?

So the farmhouse just wasn't meant to be because 'what's for you won't go by you'. It's what I keep hearing and as much as I love this phrase there is still a part of me that wanted to be *that* far away from civilisation. I'd had enough of it. I needed to get away from it and its inhabitants. It's not been very 'civil' to us so far. I wanted to run away and hide in the remotest place possible. But, there was a reason we didn't get it. Apparently. And probably it was too remote. 

Anyway my efforts are now being concentrated on a new place. All my thoughts are how this will be our new home and it will work. It's still in the country but not quite as remote. It's in a small village and our drive home revealed, very close by (3miles) a leisure centre, a tesco, a co-op, riding stables, a soft play thingy and a bit further away (5 miles) THE most amazing country party with woodland trails, a fishing loch, a crazy assault course, a castle AND a forest school!!! Unbelievable. Maybe homeschooling with added forest school AND Nurture in Nature could help persuade a certain unbeliever. Or maybe flexi schooling. Or maybe even moving to a local smaller school. That parts still undecided but I know which one I want!

The house is the last in the village which then has a dead end road about a few miles long leading to a few farms. Also the farmer said if there were no animals in it, then we could go into the field RIGHT AT THE END OF OUR GARDEN!!! A garden that has possible (landlord willing) potential for lot of things like chickens and vegetable patches and tramampolines!!! There was also a random sheep in the garden cutting the grass. How handy is that!!! It's not too far from the main line into town for hubby to commute. It will take longer and he will probably be home later but it won't matter because we will have a field!

OMG we absolutely must get this house and if we don't that phrase will need to be bloody real because I will once again be devastated. 

I need vibes. Great big going to get this house vibes. Field vibes. Real fires vibes. Snowed in during winter vibes. VIBE ME. Agents office opens tomorrow. 

Meltdowns - go run it out in that there field 

Losing the plot - go walk it out in that there field 

Breastfeeding - in a field! Why not!!!