Comfort me

I don't belong here

I don't belong anywhere

I belong here

I belong right here

Have you ever wondered?

Haven't *any* of you heard of The Continuum Concept?

Haven't *any* of you heard of instinctual parenting?

Haven't *any* of you heard your instincts?

Haven't *any* of you wondered why society is so messed up?

Haven't *any* of you wondered if it should start with our babies?

Can you hear the babies weep???

Nine months in nine months out IS brilliant

Did you just respond on my wall claiming nonsense on something you know absolutely nothing about? Life is precious and nothing more so than having a life grow inside me. Me!! I am capable of growing an amazing precious incredible life. Sustaining life is bloody hard work. A life that takes over your whole self and being. A small life that changes everything. Changes who you were and who you become. Nine months sustaining life. Nurturing and growing. Attached to me, feeding from me, experiencing, feeling and hearing through me. My whole self consumed by life. Preparing for that incredible journey to begin life outside. In the real world. So excuse me for wanting to celebrate that and the juxtaposition of the same amount of time outside of me. And the incredible fact that even though she is not inside me anymore, she is still attached to me in ways you may *never* understand. Still sustained and kept alive by me and my awesome life giving boobs of sustenance. Still experiencing life. The 'real world' and still doing that from the safe comforting secure confines of me and now my family.

(I feel I must point out that its not *exactly* nine months but I gave birth, I'm allowed poetic license. When you give birth (or have a baby with someone) then you can revel in your own unawesomeness and benign worth)

Makes no sense. Or does it?

It's about more than gun control laws. It's about more than 'mental health crazies' with guns. It about the brass tacks of connection and bonding. It goes right back to the womb. It goes beyond. It's about broken continuums and broken lives. It's about breaking the cycle. It's about changing the tone.

It's about not using violent coercive threatening punishing ways to raise our children. Its not about being more disciplined with time outs and spankings and threats of depravity.

It's about finding the compassion. Making the connection. Taking the time. Sharing the responsibility. Supporting each other and knowing your boundaries.

This is it...

Is it worth it?

45mins to get dressed and out

30mins outside

45mins (at least) of which was spent in meltdown mode

Was it worth it?

You bloody tell me!

The girls have been ill since the dawning of time and we haven't been out the house for days. I tried my very very very hardest to remain calm and upbeat and keep it an enjoyable event. Sometimes though, there is nothing stopping you meltdown and me plot losing.

You know we are going out. You see we are getting dressed. I helped you get your vest and jumper on. You chose not to wear extra stuff. I helped you get your snow trousers on. You chose to watch more of the film. You heard me say lets go and you got your boots on. I helped you get your coat on. You refused help to zip it up. You decided not to wear a hat. You chose to watch some more of the film

You CANNOT then turn round and have a meltdown because I leave the house. But you do. After spending the last 45minutes getting everyone ready to go out you cannot also say that you didn't know we were going. But you do.

You haven't got your gloves on and you want me to come back in and pick them up off the floor, and you refuse to come out until I pick them up and put them on for you. Shrieking all the time.

I have Millie in the sling on my front, we are wearing three million layers and I can't bend properly. I can't do front carry for long these days as it pulls too much but I wanted to see Millie's face (she's not well I want to keep an eye on her comfort and temp levels)

Yes I'm going to lose the plot at that point and start walking away thus making it clear I am NOT going to do this one for you. Yes I am muttering and raving about yet another trip turning into a difficulty.

Even tho I then do help to put them on you, once you have picked them up and followed me outside, you cannot then have another meltdown and whinge that I didn't help you get dressed and you are cold. I did help. A lot. Just because your sister has three pairs of socks on and you don't, doesn't mean I love her more. She put them on herself.

Not to mention the complaining that there wasn't enough ice. Then pushing your sister off the only frozen puddle

So I ask you again. Was it worth it?

Well. The dog got some exercise. First time in 3days. So it was worth it for the dog. We all got some fresh air. So that can't be bad. Some of the water balloons have frozen, so that was cool.

I know how many layers to put them in tomorrow.

Course it was worth it!!!  < Weary smiley .>






Meltdown - seriously annoying and unjustified
Losing the plot - could have been worse but wasn't pretty. Acknowledged my meanness.
Breastfeeding - not outside. Not today anyway.