Scary? Spooky? FUN!!!

I'm delighted the girls knew where the Halloween decorations were amongst the half unpacked boxes from moving in and the half packed boxes from moving out. I was going to give it a miss this year. I'm usually all up for it and love it more than them but I wasn't in the mood to search. I'm not really in the mood for any of it. The costumes. The sweetie buying. The going out. I'm psyching myself up to get on with it just for the girls sake. 

The decorations can't be hung from the ceilings as in previous years as we can't risk anything that would cause the landlord to have a conniption fit and charge us for supposed damage. So we stuck them to windows and other surfaces of furniture that's ours. I think it's less cool not hanging down over their heads, but they don't seem to mind.  It also resulted in a wee arts and crafts time as the girls made some more to add to the collection.

Part of me still gets a horrible flashback to the Halloween where social services turned up to assess us over some ridiculous nonsense and made veiled references to the decorations being too scary and were they perhaps a bit grown up for them!! I practically laughed in their faces. Halloween = Scary decorations!!!!! Well it does in our home where the girls love scary and freaky and all things spooooooooky!!

I was pleased we found and did them because I feel it's important that things carry on the way they always have to give the girls security and continuity and enjoyment amidst the chaos and uncertainty. 

The girls are happily playing werepuppy and puppyghosts amidst their supply decorations. It's all good!

Meltdowns - increasing

Losing the Plot - so so hard to hold it in

Breastfeeding - she is cutting down, I'm noticing it!!!

Going up. First floor :- getting things in motion!

Life is starting once again to have the hallmarks of those hazy crazy times when I was busy and getting out and about and therefore experiencing the lunacy that is: doing anything with children.

That ridiculous amount of time it takes to get from one point to another. That ludicrous floorshow that is getting to the car after being somewhere interesting and fun. That hilarious moment of insisting car seats are not the devil and that it really IS time to get in it. That crazy stupid thing of waking a baby to get her in a car seat. Or just trying to get her in the pram. 

For quite a long time,  I've been taking the girls to school, walking the dog with Millie in the pram, coming home and basically recovering.  Most days, sitting on the sofa, often sleeping when Millie slept, watching highly entertaining American dramas about busy people loving their lives. I've barely gone anywhere or done anything. I've been knackered. I've felt persecuted. I've felt way more stressed than I could handle. I was probably depressed and I was certainly done in. I'd basically just had enough. I'd had enough of being a mum. It was just too hard. I was too alone and too overworked. 

The last few months, I've seen a therapist and I've taken some steps to sort things out. I've contacted an organisation and sorted someone to come over for a couple of hours once a week. Doesn't sound like much but she's been once and I'm sure as hell looking forward to this weeks visit! I've spent more time wandering about 'aimlessly' with Millie on our morning dog walks. I've been making MAJOR efforts to go to more things like NIN and singing and playgroups. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just didn't have the mental or physical energy to move my arse!! I've been taking my pain killers more regularly.  I've taken steps to help our financial situation.  I've stopped worrying about the big bad wolf coming to our door because we have NOTHING to hide. I've taken back control of my life.

The way we parent is our business and our kids are thriving.  Let them come. Let them see. Let me ROAR!!!

So here's to the instigation of good ole fashioned Berlow-Jackson fun and craziness. Do join me :D

Meltdowns - Millie knows how to now, with the best of them

Losing the Plot - not even looking for it anymore

Breastfeeding - getting closer and closer to World Health Organisations minimum recommended age. Will I continue...! 

Don't tell the SS

First Monday of the holidays and I have great intentions to get out the house but its already nearly midday and I've been asking/nagging the girls to get dressed since 9.30am. They actually were dressed then but whilst I was making breakfast, they decided to have a bath???!! 

I had had a discussion with them last week about the fact that the dog WILL need walked every day and because we are no longer dropping Ellie at school, it means we need to make the effort and actually get dressed and go out. 

It would be SO incredibly easy for me to say 'fuck it' and not bother, stay at home, veg on the sofa with the girls and chuck a ball in the lane for the dog but I want things to be different over the summer. I want to make the effort even though I'm exhausted. I want the girls out and about in nature.  Even though they are moaning and refusing, I *know* they will love it once out. 

I chat to my friends online about what's happening and they suggest various ideas....just go to the door and say I'm going everyone in the car...good idea, but they are in the bath! Next idea is grab their clothes and say the same thing. This, would have actually worked but given the issues we have had with the SS and nakedness, I am under strict instructions from hubby not to take them out naked again :(

Eventually after reminding Ellie of our discussion, she gets dressed, I get Millie dressed and as Maia realises she won't be staying home alone, she does too. 

And we're off to our first Nurture in Nature of the summer. Our first NIN as a family of four for months and months. The girls have a ball, rolling down hills, climbing trees, hugging trees and playing in the wonderful outdoors.  THEN, the sun comes out! 

No sooner had the sun peeked out of the clouds and filled the park with warmth, than the whole group was naked and the girls took full advantage of the situation!!! YAY for NIN!!