Well we've so far had a week of Millie not being well (which came on not long after our long stint at the softplay - coincidence? I think not.) I've had my mid-week wobble about underachieving in all areas except baby holding, I've had my end of week wobble about the state of the house so relented and asked mum to come and help. I endured her not so back handed backchat about my germ infested kitchen, which is obviously why my kids get ill (how does she explain her bronchitis and frequent gastro incidents then??) and left her to it whilst I held Millie and played 'guess who' with Maia. 
Now, I'm happily resigned to the knowledge that there really is nothing else better to do except hold my baby and offer Maia booktime. She crumples in a despairing heap on the floor if I have to put her down for a few seconds. She chokes and coughs if she is lying flat. She notices within minutes If I move away after she's fallen asleep.
So here I am holding my bubbah. Holding her safe. Holding her heart. Nursing her through this bout of snot filled chest rattling whatever and you know what? It's all good. It's what she needs. I see that. I know that. Just sometimes I need to remind myself of it.
And if my instincts aren't enough, science now backs me up!!
Meltdowns - a few
Losing the Plot - not *that* many considering
Breastfeeding - OMG...SOOOOOO much!!
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